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Mean Girls

#1 | Movie Reviews

Mean Girls
Her parents being zoologists, Cady Heron has never known what high school truly meant. She lived her first 15 years in the African jungle, home-schooled, living life with only her parents and the animals of the wilderness, knowing all of the rules of survival. However, when she moves out of Africa, she has to learn the rules of high school, a jungle in itself. She instantly makes friends with two sweet teenagers, Damian and Janis, who, in the terms of the high school, were in the out crowd. Soon she meets the Plastics, the three crude, beautiful, popular girls, consisting of Regina, the unofficial leader, Gretchen, Reginas full-time follower, and Karen, one of the dumbest people you will ever meet. They immediately let her into their group, but Cady, wanting to keep her first friends, is unsure. The two convince Cady to keep her relationship with the Plastics, only so that they can know their dark secrets. However, events turn for the worse when Cady falls for Reginas ex-boyfriend, Aaron Samuels. When Regina finds out, she seeks revenge of Cady by taking Aaron back. When Cady finds out, what began as a game to discover secrets turns into a plan to destroy Regina. Now, Cady, Janis, and Damian plot together to bring Reginas status down. However, as Cady spends more time with the Plastics, she, too, begins to become one.

Mean Girls

Animals United

#1 | Movie Reviews

Animals United
A reasonable enough kiddie-pic for the holidays: a German-made, eco-themed 3D animation that brings together a selection of the planet's fluffiest animals in a general assault on the most evil creature of all... man.

Animals United

Mean Girls 2

#1 | Movie Reviews

Mean Girls 2
When films are released as straight-to-video, expectations aregenerally lowered. This becomes very difficult when the film isreleased as a sequel to a film that was already incredibly popularyears ago. This is the case with Mean Girls 2, the follow-up to2004s Mean Girls.

Mean Girls 2

Extreme Chickfights

#1 | Movie Reviews

Extreme Chickfights
There are approximately 8 or 9 fights on here. Theyre real fights, including boxing matches, bare knuckle matches, and some allow the competitors to continue pummeling the opponent when theyre down. I think there were one or two girls in here that were actually attractive. Well, one at least. About three of the fights are fairly descent, three full rounds with a good amount of action. A couple of the fights end after one girl gets punched a few times and decides to quit. A few others are totally inexperienced girls flailing away at each other, completely unable to hurt each other, so they eventually become exhausted. One fight has a fat girl vs. two normal sized girls, and its like a fight from the Jerry Springer show. There are at least 5,000 punches thrown but theyre wearing padded headgear and nobody can hurt anybody. In one of the good fights, one of the girls gets her sports bra bulled up and you get to see, well, you know.

Extreme Chickfights

Bikini Girls on Ice

#1 | Movie Reviews

Bikini Girls on Ice
When a bus-load of womens college soccer players get stranded on their way to a bikini car-wash fundraiser, they decide to set-up shop in front of an abandoned gas station on the edge of town. Little do they know the place is the stalking-grounds for a homicidal maniac mechanic named Moe.

Bikini Girls on Ice

Kiss the Girls

#1 | Movie Reviews

Kiss the Girls
Washington DC detective Dr. Alex Cross travels to North Carolina to investigate the apparent kidnapping of his niece. Aided by escaped kidnapee Kate McTiernan, Cross hunts down the kidnapper, who operates under the pseudonym Casanova.

Kiss the Girls

Bad Girls from Mars

#1 | Movie Reviews

Bad Girls from Mars
Someone is killing off the female leads of the movie production Bad Girls from Mars. The producers feel they should try to finish the film, even though theyre making a lucrative amount from insurance payoffs, so they fly in European sex bomb Emanuelle as the new lead. Emanuelle immediately begins embarrassing the producers by leading a wild party life around town. Meanwhile the killings continue, and detectives try to stop the fiend responsible.

Bad Girls from Mars

Furry Vengeance

#1 | Movie Reviews

Furry Vengeance
Oh, Brendan Fraser. I have now watched yet another film in which you engage in slapstick with CGI animals. Granted, Furry Vengeance isn't even the low point of your career. But still -- CGI animals? Again?

In the spirit of full disclosure, I want to explain that I am deeply, heart-breakingly in love with Brendan Fraser. This affair, which exists entirely in my own mind but has never blossomed into full-blown stalking, has been going on for a long, long time, despite the fact that most of his films are pedestrian DVD fodder.

Furry Vengeance

Dr. Dolittle 3

#1 | Movie Reviews

Dr. Dolittle 3
Maya Dolittle, the Doctor's youngest daughter, has inherited her father's gift for talking to animals, but so far it's brought her nothing but trouble. So, Maya heads to Durango summer camp to get in touch with her abilities.

Dr. Dolittle 3

Assault Girls

#1 | Movie Reviews

Assault Girls
Ghost in the Shell and Avalon director Oshii Mamoru takes on live-action for the first time in eight years with the sci-fi action film Assault Girls, a visually impressive movie featuring some of Japans hottest young actresses, and a haunting musical score by Kawai Kenji. In a virtual world called Avalon, four warriors - Gray (Kuroki Meisa), Colonel (Saeki Hinako), Lucifer (Kikuchi Rinko), and Jager (Fujiku Yoshikatsu) - band together to fight giant sand monsters destroying the world. They discover that theres only room for one survivor in their world, and they must play by the rules.

Assault Girls

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

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Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
Although critter movies have performed extremely well at the boxoffice, "Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore" will put that trend to a tough test.

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Bad Girls from Valley High

#1 | Movie Reviews

Bad Girls from Valley High
Danielle is the leader of a clique of arrogant, mean high school girls she and her rich friends Tiffany and Brooke care only about their pampered selves (although Brooke has periodic misgivings). No one really hangs out with them except a dumb jock named Gavin, and the class nerd Jonathan, and poor Danielle is getting nowhere with the popular guy Drew, even after she and friends accidentally killed his last girlfriend. Its been a year, and Drew still ignores her - but he doesnt ignore the new foreign exchange student Katarina. Since Katarina cant take a hint, Danielle begins plotting her downfall. But theres a slight problem Danielle and her friends begin experiencing a level of high weirdness in which all three of them rapidly age. This serves to make Danielle more desperate than ever. Shell sacrifice anything, even Drew, to get her youth and looks back.

Bad Girls from Valley High

Five Across the Eyes

#1 | Movie Reviews

Five Across the Eyes
On their way home from a high school football game, five teenage girls become hopelessly lost. When they stop to get directions at a desolate store, the girls are involved in a minor fender bender which leaves an unattended SUV one headlight short. Inexperienced and frightened that theyll get into trouble, the girls flee the scene of the accident and speed away down the dark and unfamiliar roads. As they blindly make their way across an area the locals call THE EYES, the girls are suddenly shocked to see one lone headlight appear behind them. As the driver of the damaged SUV begins one terrifying assault after another, the five girls will lose their innocence and possibly their lives in this brutal and shocking thrill ride.

Five Across the Eyes

Jack Squad

#1 | Movie Reviews

Jack Squad
Childhood best friends Kennedy, Mona, and Dawn embark on a plan to seduce and rob wealthy men. Using cunning acts of seduction and betrayal, the girls go full speed ahead with charm and sex as their weapons to become financially independent. Soon, however, everything backfires when they get involved with a vicious Under-Lord and a murder counters their actions. The women become enveloped in a world of deceit and murder, as they discover that what comes around goes around. It is now up to them to figure out what the next step is and how to get out of this vicious cycle of death before it is too late.

Jack Squad

Advocate

#1 | Movie Reviews

Advocate
"A few years ago, a friend sent me a book about the prosecution of animals in the Middle Ages... These trials read like modern courtroom dramas. Since the animals were given a full defense counsel and were prosecuted with the whole rigor of the law, it had all the kind of little tricks that lawyers play to get their clients off. What really intrigued me was reading up about [the] people - the renegade priests, the philosophers, the lawyers, people who actually had very modern ideas."
- Leslie Magahey, writer/director of The Advocate

Advocate