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Oliver Parkerís 2009 film DORIAN GRAY, adapted from Oscar Wildeís classic 1890 novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, has no scheduled U.S. release date, so are film fans in the U.S. missing a treat, or is this a blessing in disguise? Starring Ben Barnes as Dorian and Colin Firth as his friend and cohort Henry Wotton, the film tells the story of a young man, who inadvertently makes a pact with the devil. No matter what the devilishly handsome Dorian does, or what kind of life he leads, he will never age. Instead his portrait [which he hides in the attic] will show the true state of Dorianís soul. I was not expecting much from this film, but curiosity got me to the cinema, and actually Iím glad it did.
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It feels as if years have passed since I first heard about Fanboys. Once it fell under the purview of the Weinsteins there were reported orders of cuts, edits, and re-shoots, along with an ever-delayed release date. I had long since given up on the possibility of seeing it on the big screen, completely expecting to see it pop up on the DVD release schedule some random week. Well, color me surprised when I saw it actually arriving on the big screen, albeit in severely limited release. Consider me officially excited to find that one of those few theaters is not too far from me. The only question left was whether or not it would live up to expectations, considering the delayed schedule and the decidedly geeky nature of its subject matter.
The Smell of Success
When a tragic accident ends the life of Mr. Rose, the genius behind Rose's Manure Company, the livelihood of its loyal fleet of salesmen threatens to go, as they say, into the toilet. Enter estranged daughter Rosemary, a high-class- cosmetics salesgirl, who steps in to take control. She is not sure she has a nose for the family business, but she is determined to make foul into profit. Little does she know that a ruthless, slick-talking fertilizer rep is plotting a takeover. Whether she likes it or not, she must trust her top salesman, Patrick Fitzpatrick, to devise a plan to regain Rose's rightful position on top of the heap.
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Me and Orson Welles
Me and Orson Welles is about the theater, or at least the theater as it was in the 1930s. Based on the semi-fictional novel by Robert Kaplow and set in New York City around the time of the opening of the Mercury Theater, the film is rich in period detail. It chronicles not only how Welles put together his now-famous stage production of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar but how it was to work around and with the temperamental genius. In a departure from his usual intimate, character-based fare, director Richard Linklater paints on a broad cinematic canvas that brings Depression-era Broadway vividly to life.
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Horror films are like candy corn: familiar, bland, and sickening if consumed in large quantities. They're both ubiquitous at this time of year and there must be a large group of individuals who appreciate their dubious charms because they never go away. I like a good, scary horror film - something that raises the hackles and keeps me on the edge of my seat. It's been a while since I have seen one, however. (Maybe the last one was The Descent.) I have watched all four Saw movies but didn't review installment #2 or #3. I have selected to review this one to show how far this series has fallen since its promising debut.
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Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life arrives stillborn, the misbegotten offspring of filmmakers who are so greedy that they probably wouldn't hesitate to plunder a grave or two. I would be tempted to recommend this movie as being entertainment of the "so bad you won't believe your eyes" variety if it wasn't so deadly boring. As impressive as Angelina Jolie's many physical feats may be, it takes even more stamina and fortitude to stay awake during the movie's seemingly endless two-hour running length.
Once more, I feel I must make this plea: please do not throw things at the projectionist or attempt to kill the ushers. All ire should be directed at the men and women at Paramount Pictures.
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Like everything else, James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) has had to change for the nineties. The venerable 007, coming off a long hiatus, has taken on his sixth face (the other five being Sean Connery, David Niven, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton), changed his mode of transport from an Aston- Martin to a BMW, and now answers to a female "M" (played dryly by Judi Dench). Bond's attitudes towards women have been modified -- although not greatly. Also, there's more action in Goldeneye than in previous 007 entries -- enough to keep a ninety-minute film moving at a frantic pace. Unfortunately, this movie isn't ninety-minutes long -- it's one-hundred thirty, which means that fully one-quarter of Goldeneye is momentum-killing padding.
Russ Richards (John Travolta), the weatherman for a Harrisburg, Pennsylvania television station, is revered as a local celebrity by his viewers, and fame affords him such perks as a reserved parking spot and his own booth at Denny's, where an omelet bears his name. His eternally optimistic demeanor conceals the fact his snowmobile dealership is on the verge of bankruptcy due to an unusually warm winter.
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Devil's Island: Journey Into Jungle Alcatraz
Imagine the prison of Alcatraz, only 10 times worse, built on tropical, hellish and deadly islands, lost to the rest of the world. Three tiny castaway islands rise away from the coast of French Guyana, in South America The Devils Islands. Now buried under an impenetrable jungle, lay the lost remains of what had been for a hundred years the most storied convict prison in history. There, while most of the prisoners faded into oblivion, a few became legends. Some because they were innocent, as in the scandalous Dreyfus Affair, some because they somehow escaped the islands of nightmare, as did the butterfly, Henry Charrire, immortalized by Steve McQueen in Papillon. Now 50 years after the prison doors slammed shut for the last time, we explore whats left of the Devils Islands unbelievably dark and oppressive realm. Follow Jean-Christophe Jeauffre and his crew as he reveals the secrets of another lost world...
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The Cat's Meow
It is November 15, 1924, and among those boarding the luxury yacht Oneida in San Pedro, California are its owner, publishing magnate William Randolph Hearst, and his mistress, silent film star Marion Davies; Ince, whose birthday is the reason for the weekend cruise, and his mistress, starlet Margaret Livingston; Charlie Chaplin; English writer Elinor Glyn; and Louella Parsons, the film critic for Hearst's New York American.
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3 Blind Mice
Thomas is a young computer specialist who spends most of his (spare?) time on the net. He logs regularly on Cathys site and apparently runs a very strong - but platonic! - relationship with her they only see each other through web cams. One day, while Thomas is connected, Cathy is murdered under his eyes. But when he calls the police to try to do something he realizes that he doesnt even know her real name or address. Thomas, apparently the only witness, will soon find himself involved in the investigation held by Claire, a young police officer who is also a web specialist. Together they will discover in the real world, as well as in the virtual one, very weird things ...
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A for Andromeda
In the Yorkshire Dales, a group of scientists receive radio signals from the Andromeda Galaxy. Once decoded, these give them a computer program that can design a human clone. One physicist decides it is a Trojan horse and decides to destroy the computer.
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While driving to her hometown Ovid, Colorado, to visit her brother and local sheriff Jeff and her niece Olympia, Joan Burrows recalls her traumatic experience with her best friend Susie when they were teenagers. Joan and Susie are smoking pot in the cemetery and decide to snoop on the caretaker Bishop in the funeral home. Joan falls and hurts her knee, and Bishop invites the girls to enter in the house to clean the wound. Soon they are sedated with chloroform and submitted to a cruel torture in a sick game where Bishop tells each girl to ask to kill the other to stop the suffering. When a copycat killer kills Olympias friends, Joan tells the police officers that Bishop is back but nobody believes her.
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Frat House Massacre
Set in the late 70s, this gritty and twisted film taps the physical and mental underpinnings of the meaning of the word brother in a way reminiscent of the best of late 70s grindhouse and early 80s slashers.
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Peyton Westlake is a scientist who has discovered a way to produce synthetic skin. This could revolutionise skin grafting, except for one minor glitch the synthetic skin degrades after 100 minutes of exposure to light. When gangsters attack Peyton, he is horrifically burnt, and assumed dead. In his quest for revenge, Peyton, aka the Darkman, is able to take on the appearance of anyone (using the synthetic skin,) but hes only got 100 minutes per disguise.
Me & You, Us, Forever
A love story based in 1974 and 2004. A 47-year-old Christian man, on the other side of an unwanted divorce, reminisces about his old high school girlfriend from 30 years prior.
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