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The Slammin' Salmon

The Slammin' Salmon
The concept isn't a bad one -- a group of Miami waiters are pitted against one another in a single, frenzied night's competition to earn the most tips. To the winner goes an increasingly bodacious array of prizes, and to the loser... a fistful of pain courtesy of former boxing champ and current mean, scary and giant restaurant owner Michael Clarke Duncan. Along the way, the competition becomes heated, the staff members go to greater and greater lengths to win, and the diners who enter the high-end eatery trend towards the more and more outlandish. So why, then, doesn't The Slammin' Salmon feel like anything more than a protracted episode of John Ritter's restaurant-based Three's Company spinoff, Three's a Crowd?

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A Perfect Getaway

A Perfect Getaway
It spoils nothing to say that A Perfect Getaway is a twist movie. In fact, it wants you to know that it's a twist movie -- desperately, pleadingly, damn-near annoyingly wants you to know. It is a film that simply would not exist were it not for its own third act. Its main characters have long, in-depth discussions about the nature of screenwriting and the structure of thrillers, using phrases such as "red herring" and "second-act twist" with a suspicious frequency intended, one imagines, to disarm the viewer. After all, if the film is so willing to get us thinking about gamechangers, can it really attempt to twist on us in a way we won't already have considered?

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Live Animals

Live Animals
This one had me undecided as to whether I liked it or not almost the entire running time. The opening had me rolling around my eyes; the middle kinda had to hooked; and then the ending … the goddamn ending. What I thought was gonna end up being a pretty decent and fun entry into the torture-porn sub-genre completely falls apart in the final act. I was really disappointed that writer-director Jeremy Benson took LIVE ANIMALS in the direction he did in the last 20 minutes.

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30 Days of Night: Dark Days

30 Days of Night: Dark Days
Let me first start out this review by saying that the 30 Days of Night series and first film are held in high regard with me. The movie fascinated me and basically is what propelled me back into the world of comic books and graphic novels. The first 30 Days of Night movie was so different than what we had been getting fed at the time on the theme of vampires. Vampire novels and books at the time that the original 30 Days came out in theaters had been reduced to romantic sparkling figures who sulked through their eternal life regretting what they were. Gone was the frightening imagery of a rabid undead who didn't think about what it was doing. It just knew it needed to eat to survive.

That's what made me so fond of 30 Days of Night. It was scary and disturbing. It was also mysterious and didn't really give you all the answers to the questions I had. Basically, all you really got was that some vampires somehow found out about a town where it's dark for 30 days and decide to go to an all-you-can-buffet vacation. While sitting in the theater, I kept asking myself "Where did these vampires come from?" Thus, I picked up the graphic novel and read it and loved it. The movie was pretty loyal to the book, give or take a few things here and there. It answered all my questions I had about the original film.

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Yamagata Scream

Yamagata Scream
Insane Japanese horror comedy “Yamagata Scream” sees popular actor Takenaka Naoto taking up the directorial reins once again, for a very different proposition to his romantic drama “Sayonara Blue”. The film might politely be described as eccentric, revolving around undead samurai, zombies, schoolgirls and pop culture gags, all thrown together in madcap, everything but the kitchen sink style. Taking the lead is teen actress Narumi Riko (“How to Become Myself”), with support from an impressive ensemble cast including veteran Iwamatsu Ryo (“Sawako Decides”), Maiko (“Yama no Anata – Tokuichi no Koi”), EXILE’s Akira (“Be Sure to Share”), R&B singer Crystal Kay, and Haru (“Koizora”), with Takenaka himself making an appearance, along with cult Japanese gore director Iguchi Noboru (“Robo Geisha”, “The Machine Girl”) and others.

The film begins with troubled schoolgirl Mikayo (Narumi Riko) fleeing from her recently remarried father and going on a trip with 3 classmates and her lovelorn teacher (Maiko) to a remote village in Yamagata. The village has a dark past, being the site where a defeated samurai called Tsuzuranuki (Sawamura Ikki), his lover (also played by Narumi Riko) and several of his men were trapped and killed by the locals. After a shrine to the samurai is demolished by the mayor (Namase Katsuhisa) as part of a theme park development scheme, the warriors rise from the dead and set about menacing the populace, with Tsuzuranuki deciding that Mikayo is the reincarnation of his long lost love.

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Rocker

Rocker
What if they made a Jack Black movie and Jack Black didn't show up? That's sort of the feeling I get with The Rocker although, truth be told, Rainn Wilson does an admirable Black impersonation. This warmed-over, recycled stew brings the "comeback" concept so favored by sports movies into the rock-and-roll arena. It's pure formula, devoid of any creative impulses and, perhaps most damningly, the moments of genuine humor are too few and far between to be worth mentioning. For every clever line or amusing sight gag, there are fifteen minutes of lame dialogue and lamer plotting. The Rocker is more disappointing than it is outright bad. One expects something a little fresher from Wilson.

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Deconstructing Harry

Deconstructing Harry
Deconstructing: To write about or analyze in a way that questions traditional assumptions about certainty, identity, and truth, asserts that words can only refer to other words, and attempts to demonstrate how statements about any text subvert their own meanings. (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition)

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One Fine Day

One Fine Day
One Fine Day has all the ingredients of an enjoyable romantic comedy: a decent premise, likable leads, and a solid supporting cast. The problem is, instead of throwing the two main characters together and giving them an opportunity to get to know one another, the script insists on keeping them apart as they run around New York City, trying to sort out one crisis after another. By the time they finally get a chance to snuggle together on a couch, too much time has passed for us to be enthralled by the long-delayed magic that materializes.

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The Great Race

The Great Race
"The Great Race" was a giant comedy, a big-screen spectacle nearly three hours long. Blake Edwards co-authored the screenplay, filling it with cartoony heroes and villains while telling the story of a real-life road race "around the world" in 1908. Starting in New York, the racers traveled across America, crossed the Pacific Ocean, then continued through Russia and Europe into Paris. But that's really just a framework for Edwards' broad farce about good guys and bad guys.

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A Plumm Summer

A Plumm Summer
An amiable retro feel permeates "A Plumm Summer," and it's not just because this family film is set 40 years in the past. Montana-set, reality-inspired pic feels like an homage to a bygone era of moviemaking: It takes its time to build character and story, there's hardly a CG effect in sight, and there's nothing high-concept about it. Latter fact reps a significant though not insurmountable marketing hurdle. Expect, at least in the short term, continued fest appearances, where pic has been an audience favorite. DVD prospects, thanks to a recognizable cast, look sunny.

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Heartbreakers

Heartbreakers
Max (Sigourney Weaver) and Page Conners (Jennifer Love Hewitt) are a mother-daughter con artist team. When the film opens, the Conners are settling a con on Dean Cumanno (Ray Liotta), an auto-body shop owner and small-time crook. The con, which the Conners have played a number of times before on other men, involves Max marrying Dean, passing out on their wedding night to avoid actually consummating the marriage, and then Page (posing as Dean's secretary) luring

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Day on Fire

Day on Fire
The lives of a Palestinian journalist and a Jewish model become inextricably, and shockingly, intertwined after they meet by accident in New York.

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Running on Empty Dreams

Running on Empty Dreams
Young and athletic Sydney Harris finds out that she has six months to live unless she and her husband can come up with the money for her medical treatment. Sounds simple enough get the money, save her life. But her underpaid, working class husband cant afford the treatment. And time is ticking away. As Sydney begins to seek out a means to save her life, she begins to question her existence and does some soul searching, only to find herself falling in love with a single mom in the neighborhood that Sydney and her family have just moved into. Sydney is then forced to choose between her religious upbringing, her husband and son, and a love that she hides, all while fighting a losing battle to save her own life.

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Last Stand at Saber River

Last Stand at Saber River
As America recovers from the Civil War, Paul Cable (Tom Selleck) returns home to Texas after being years away from his family fighting for the Confederacy. His wife, Martha (Suzy Amis), is a pretty but strong willed frontier woman, whose independence makes her a force in of herself. She had been told that he was killed in action. Upon his unexpected return, she devotes herself once again to being his wife, but resents him for having left her and their children behind to fight a war she didn't care to understand. Having loved each other since childhood, the two now, though married, are like strangers, and the tension between them is evident. During his absence, their youngest daughter had died from fever, and Martha, having borne that without him, has developed a hatred for her husband. Her father James Sanford (Harry Carey Jr.) scolds her for her attitude toward Cable, to which she stands her ground, never backing down from her stance on the subject. Her father knows her well, and lets the subject alone.

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Flatliners

Flatliners
Medical students begin to explore the realm of near death experiences, hoping for insights. Each has their heart stopped and is revived. They begin having flashes of walking nightmares from their childhood, reflecting sins they committed or had committed against them. The experiences continue to intensify, and they begin to be physically beaten by their visions as they try and go deeper into the death experience to find a cure.

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Einstein

Einstein
A look at the relationship between renowned scientist Albert Einstein and his first wife, Mileva Maric.

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