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he Shortcut is a PG-13 thriller that tells the story of a group of high school seniors that decide to find out the truth about the creepy old man who lives on the wooded land intersected by the shortcut.
With its catchy tagline (ďSome urban legends are real!Ē) and a ďnon-horror fanĒ friendís recommendation, I decided to watch The Shortcut. What the hell was I thinking?
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It's South Africa 1990. Two major events are about to happen: The release of Nelson Mandela and, more importantly, it's Spud Milton's first year at an elite boys only private boarding school. John Milton is a boy from an ordinary background who wins a scholarship to a private school in Kwazulu-Natal, South Africa. Surrounded by boys with nicknames like Gecko, Rambo, Rain Man and Mad Dog, Spud has his hands full trying to adapt to his new home. Along the way Spud takes his first tentative steps along the path to manhood.
1986's The Hitcher is not representative of a classic of the 1980s horror boom, so the decision by Michael Bay and company to re-make it is merely unnecessary, not sacrilegious. 20 years later, the original stands up well; there is no need to re-imagine it for today's generation. Nevertheless, for reasons understood only in Hollywood and having to do with a "$" sign, there seems to be a movement to re-create every horror title made in the '70s and '80s. And, while it may be odd to refer to The Hitcher as possessing a "soul," that's precisely what's lost in the 2007 edition. This is a mechanical gore-fest that offers preposterous stunts in place of escalating tension and waxwork mannequins in place of marginally interesting characters.
Reno 911!: Miami
Reno 911!: Miami represents an argument against taking 22-minute TV comedy shows and expanding them to 80-minute feature films. Something that entertains over a short period when watched from the vantage point of a couch or a recliner does not necessarily offer a comparably enjoyable experience when expanded and lengthened. It can be done - see South Park and Monty Python for counter-examples - but those are not the norms. As a TV show, Reno 911! is diverting and amusing; as a motion picture, it's overlong and wears out its welcome. The film offers some solid laughs, but not enough to justify sitting through 80 minutes of the faux cops' antics.
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Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead is a spoof, but at the same time, it's a semi-serious horror movie. It's also an homage to George Romero's Dead series (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead) and a societal commentary. Admittedly, with so many choices on the menu, director Edgar Wright cooks some of them better than others. But the bottom line is simple: Shaun of the Dead may not be consistently scary (in fact, it's almost never scary), but it is consistently funny (if you have a slightly warped sense of humor) and never loses its audience.
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The latest would-be art-house sensation from French auteur Jean-Pierre Jeunet bears the title Micmacs, and has nothing to do with any entrée available at a certain high-profile fast food restaurant. It is, however, an unusual concoction that would have found favor during the '90s, when foreign films of this sort were prized by those seeking something more filling than the fare served by cinema's junk food purveyors, the multiplexes. But can such a film succeed in North America 15 years later?
The Medallion is the stupidest movie of the year. Maybe thatís not the most professional description to use, but thatís the only one that fits. Yes, itís stupid. When it isnít stupid itís weird and when it isnít weird, well thatís how you know that the movie is over. The large Hawaiian shirt wearing fellow, two rows behind me, described it aptly by shouting over the closing credits, ďWhat the fuck was that?Ē Good question. What the fuck WAS that Jackie?
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The Last Unicorn
Only one of the mythological creatures escapes the evil King Haggard's (voice by Christopher Lee) plan to eliminate all unicorns from the land in Rankin-Bass's (Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) sophisticated production of The Last Unicorn.
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Notorious director Uwe Boll takes a break from beating his critics to turn out this deadly serious war film centering on the battlefield experiences of a U.S. combat unit sent to root out and kill Viet Cong soldiers who have been stealthily attacking American troops via an elaborate series of underground tunnels deep beneath the jungles of Vietnam.
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The film reflects back to the ending of Friday, including the fight between Craig (Ice Cube) and Deebo (Lister Jr.). Rumor has spread to the neighborhood that Deebo has broken out of jail and will come looking for Craig. As a precaution, Craig's father (Witherspoon) decides to have him stay with Elroy (Curry), Craig's sex-crazed, lottery winning uncle, and his cousin Day-Day (Epps). Initially, life in Rancho Cucamonga seems to be ideal, however, trouble soon arises in many different areas.
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The film introduces a circle of youths who are addicted to playing Hellworld, an online computer game based on the Hellraiser series. The film opens at the funeral of Adam, one of the friends who was obsessed with the game and ultimately committed suicide after becoming too immersed in the game. The remaining five friends blame themselves for not having prevented Adam's suicide.
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The Last Detail
Two bawdy, tough looking navy lifers - Bad-Ass Buddusky, and Mule Mulhall - are commissioned to escort a young pilferer named Meadows to the brig in Boston. Meadows is not much of a thief. Indeed, in his late teens, he is not much of a man at all. His great crime was to try to steal forty dollars from the generals wifes pet charity. For this, hes been sentenced to eight years behind bars. At first, Buddusky and Mulhall view the journey as a paid vacation, but their holiday spirits are quickly depressed by the prisoner, who looks prepared to break into tears at any moment. And he has the lowest self-image imaginable. Buddusky gets it into his head to give Meadows a good time and teach him a bit about getting on in the world. Lesson one Dont take every card life deals you. Next, he teaches Meadows to drink, and, as a coup de grace, finds a nice young whore to instruct him in lovemaking. Mule, who worries aloud about his own position with military authority, seems pleased with Meadowss progress. However, when the trio reach Boston, the game comes abruptly to an end as reality sets in.
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Beautiful Carmen Colson and her ironworker husband Wayne are placed in the Federal Witness Protection program after witnessing an extortion scheme go wrong. Thinking they are at last safe, they are targeted by an experienced intimidating hit man and a psychopathic young upstart killer. The ensuing struggle will test Carmen to the limit.
Kiss the Girls
Washington DC detective Dr. Alex Cross travels to North Carolina to investigate the apparent kidnapping of his niece. Aided by escaped kidnapee Kate McTiernan, Cross hunts down the kidnapper, who operates under the pseudonym Casanova.
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The story about the relationship between a manic depressive man, Mr Jones, and the female doctor who takes more than a professional interest in his treatment.
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Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Mortal Kombat is an ancient tournament where the Earth Realm warriors battle against the forces of Outworld. Liu Kang and a few chosen fighters fought and defeated the powerful sorcerer Shang Tsung, their victory would preserve the peace on Earth for one more generation. Taking place now where the first movie left off, the Earth realm warriors live a short period of peace when evil forces from another dimension come to invade and wreak havoc on Earth. They are guided by the forces of Outworld leader, Shao Kahn and his generals such as Motaro, Rain, Ermac, Sheeva and Sindel. Now Liu Kang, Raiden, Jax, Sonya and Kitana must defeat Shao Kahn in six days before the Earth realm merges with the Outworld.
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