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The Wicker Man

The Wicker Man
Wicker Man may be a remake, but at least it's not another remake of an Asian horror movie. The Wicker Man is all American, and with that comes an obvious plot and a decided lack of scares. It also means Nicolas Cage instead of an unknown teenage actress or worse, Sarah Michelle Gellar.

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Burn After Reading

Burn After Reading
After watching the Coen Brothers spend years mowing their way through genres and upending conventions, one question comes to mind: Is there anything these guys can't do. Common wisdom suggests "no" and, after winning Oscars early this year for No Country for Old Men, expectations have gone from modest to high. However, those anticipating another searing drama/thriller with Burn After Reading may be disappointed. The Coens, as is often their style, have elected to go in another direction. This is a thriller with a high quotient of comedic elements or, if you prefer, a comedy with a high quotient of thriller elements. As is always the case with a production of Joel & Ethan, it's difficult to classify, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable.

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Doom
(Insert appropriate remarks about how Doom is the perfect name for this motion picture.)

Although I am not averse to wasting a few hours playing computer games, I have never tried my hand at Doom. Judging by sales figures and testimonials, playing the game has to be an infinitely preferable experience to watching this pathetic excuse for a movie. Otherwise, not only would Doom never have become a phenomenon, but it would have lain gathering dust on store shelves. Doom (the movie) is a dreadful, hackneyed piece of cinema - a D-grade mess that's more a rip-off of Alien than an attempt to tell a compelling story. It's unfathomable how many times Hollywood has struck out in attempts to convert popular video/computer games into movies. This is the kind of misfire that reinforces negative stereotypes.

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Swordfish

Swordfish
"You know what the problem with Hollywood is - they make shit."

It is with that statement - not profound, but undeniably true - that Swordfish opens. And, while this movie isn't going to convince anyone that the major studios have suddenly turned over a new leaf and are producing better fare, it's certainly a lot more entertaining that most of the painfully long and joyless cinematic "events" that have thus far marked the dismal Summer of 2001. In its zeal to cram every potential blockbuster with as many special effects as possible, Hollywood has forgotten that summer movies should be made for the appreciation of the consumer, not to give filmmakers an arena in which to show off. Swordfish at least remembers that this sort of film is supposed to be fun.

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Ice Age: The Meltdown

Ice Age: The Meltdown
Despite its popularity with children, Ice Age represented, at the time, a nadir for digital animation. Although entertaining, the film couldn't stand toe-to-toe with its Pixar and Dreamworks competitors. Ice Age: The Meltdown represents a further step backwards. Although the animation has improved, the regression is keenly felt in other areas - particularly the story. This is a lackluster film that exists exclusively because its predecessor made money.

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Mad Love

Mad Love
Mad Love is a flawed movie that can't decide whether it wants to be a drama about mental illness, a tale of teen romance and rebellion, or a road picture. It's not that these three are necessarily mutually exclusive, but Mad Love's agenda makes them so. Because the movie is so concerned about not alienating its youthful target audience, it doesn't take risks. Everything has been watered down to maintain the PG-13 rating that will allow 15 and 16-year olds into theaters without their parents.

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Air Force One

Air Force One
Arguably, the favorite genre today is the action adventure film. While many are formula and derived, some provide a true action experience.
Air-Force One is a true action film!!

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Two Soldiers

Two Soldiers
Mississippi, just before Pearl Harbor. Two brothers, Pete, about 19 and Willie, about 10 years younger. They are clearly close friends. The news arrives, and Pete goes to enlist. Willie wants to come along, but is told he cannot. After his brother leaves, the boy walks 30 miles to the nearest town, where the sheriff eventually puts him on a bus to Memphis where his brother is. At the recruiting office, Willie proves even more determined to see his brother eventually, sympathetic Col. McKellogg takes care of him.

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Thir13en Ghosts

Thir13en Ghosts
Ghost hunter Cyrus Kriticos (F. Murray Abraham) and his psychic assistant Dennis Rafkin (Matthew Lillard) lead a team on a mission to capture a spirit, called the Juggernaut, in a junkyard. Several of the men are killed during the ensuing fight, including Cyrus himself. However, the team is able to catch the ghost. Cyrus' nephew, Arthur Kriticos (Tony Shalhoub), a widowed math teacher, is informed by Cyrus' estate lawyer Ben Moss (JR Bourne) that he has inherited a mansion. Financially insecure, Arthur decides to move into the mansion with his two children, Kathy (Shannon Elizabeth) and Bobby (Alec Roberts) and their nanny Maggie (Rah Digga).

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Prey for Rock & Roll

Prey for Rock & Roll
Jacki (Gina Gershon), sexy punk rocker and lead singer of the all-girl band Clamdandy, is at a crossroads. With her birthday fast approaching, she must decide whether or not to keep the promise she made to herself over a decade earlier Quit the music business at 40 if she hasnt made it by then. The decision gets complicated when old secrets, false hope, and personal tragedies threaten to break up the band.

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Cross Bronx

Cross Bronx
Screenwriter Larry Golin made his directorial debut with this coming-of-age story set in New York. Four friends move in together in a ramshackle apartment in the Bronx as they try to figure out their next move while they finish up their senior year in high school.

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Funny Money

Funny Money
Henry Perkins, a mild-mannered accountant, accidentally trades briefcases with another man, to find out that theres five million dollars inside. Henry tells his unsuspecting wife of their new-found fortune, but she doesnt embrace it as well as he does. Soon theyre joined by their best friends, a cop on the take, a cop on the hunt, and the dreaded Mr. Big, who has come to claim his million dollars.

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The Fly II

The Fly II
The story begins several months after the first film, with the birth of Martin Brundle. Martin is unique, as he is the offspring of Veronica Quaife and Seth Brundle, the man who became a mutant hybrid of man and housefly (known as Brundlefly) from the first film. The birth is under the control of Brundle's employer, Anton Bartok, owner of Bartok Industries (which financed Brundle's teleportation experiments). Veronica dies during childbirth, leaving Martin in the custody of Bartok, who plans to exploit his unique condition.

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Cross of Iron

Cross of Iron
In 1943, in the Russian front, the decorated leader Rolf Steiner is promoted to Sergeant after another successful mission. Meanwhile the upper-class and arrogant Prussian Captain Hauptmann Stransky is assigned as the new commander of his squad. After a bloody battle of Steiners squad against the Russian troops led by the brave Lieutenant Meyer that dies in the combat, the coward Stransky claims that he led his squad against the Russian and requests to be awarded with the Iron of Cross to satisfy his personal ambition together with his aristocratic family. Stransky gives the names of Steiner and of the homosexual Lieutenant Triebig as witnesses of his accomplishment, but Steiner, who has problems with the chain of command in the army and with the arrogance of Stransky, refuses to participate in the fraud. When Colonel Brandt gives the order to leave the position in the front, Stransky does not retransmit the order to Steiners squad, and they are left alone surrounded by the enemy and having to fight to survive.

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Lifted

Lifted
Henry Matthews is an exceptionally talented young RB singer whose happy family life is disrupted when his father, a marine, is re-deployed to Afghanistan. Despite all the obstacles including losing the family home and being forced to move in with his grandfather who hates his music, Henry is inspired to enter a teen singing competition in the hopes of winning and escaping a world that is falling apart.

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Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus
Yes, it was ridiculously horribly bad, but some reason, I enjoyed it.

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