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The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
Having made its UK debut at last year's FrightFest, The Human Centipede has attained a cult-like status by word-of-mouth alone, and with such a diabolically disgusting premise at its centre, it's not hard to imagine why. For those with a weak stomach and no idea of what we speak, you might want to skip the next paragraph.
The story goes that Dutch director Tom Six came up with the idea for The Human Centipede when joking with his friends that surgically attaching the mouth of a convicted paedophile to the anus of a fat truck driver would be a suitable punishment for their crimes, and so from there the concept for The Human Centipede was born. The fact that Six was also one of brains behind the original Big Brother TV format in Holland is unconnected.
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Don't believe the ads. Ridley Scott has not made a Robin Hood movie. Or at least not a complete one. No, this film is his attempt to make a more commercially viable version of Kingdom of Heaven, an epic about the Crusades (and their aftermath) with its complicated history distilled down to a more easily digestible but not particularly compelling form. Scott doesn't even seem particularly interested in Robin Hood (played by Russell Crowe), as a legend or a character.
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Land of Plenty
Wim Wenders wants a 25th Hour to call his own, and for Land of Plenty he splices the story of a young girl recently arrived from Tel Aviv and her paranoiac uncle into a montage of music-video-styled American anomie. Once a purveyor of Germany's post-war existential mess, Wenders is now content wandering the American heartland with his iPod and camera-as-divining-rod, looking for a thematic purpose to anchor his groggy, music-infused aesthetic.
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Madea Goes to Jail
Heaven help me, this Madea character is starting to grow on me. In Madea Goes to Jail, Tyler Perry's latest adaptation of one of his innumerable stage plays, his giant, pistol-packing alter ego finally runs afoul of the law one too many times and finds herself in the big house (not Big Momma's House, the big house). As a character, Madea felt randomly assembled in Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea's Family Reunion, but now Perry has grown her into a larger-than-life force of nature that is genuinely funny.
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Noel Clarke directs and stars in the sequel to his gritty 2005 film Kidulthood and once again we are back on the streets of London dealing with the sort of youth that the Daily Mail has a special place for (usually its front page). If you have little or no personal experience of the 'streets' then it's likely to be something of a perplexing affair.
It's not a stretch to say that I am not a member of Aquamarine's target demographic. It's a good bet that about 90% of the film's viewers will be girls between the ages of 8 and 14. I'm sure the movie works better for them than it did for me. Still, all things considered, I have to admit that sitting through Aquamarine was not the most unpleasant recent cinematic experience I have had. The plot - a cliché-riddled, modern day amalgamation of two fairy tales ("The Little Mermaid" and "Cinderella") - won't win points for originality, but the screenplay includes some snappy dialogue, smart observations, and an uplifting message about the importance of friendship. And, although there are a fair number of stock characters, including the bitchy bitch and the studly stud, the protagonists are likable and nicely rounded. The problem faced by 20th Century Fox is selling the movie.
Squid and the Whale
The foundation of any good family drama is interesting characters, and The Squid and the Whale is replete with them. Movies about divorce and dysfunctional families are so commonplace that it's difficult to avoid slipping into clichés yet, as a result of a sensitive and literate script coupled with uniformly strong performances, Noah Baumbach's semi-autobiographical feature navigates the minefield without incident. I won't argue that this is a great film, but it is a very good one, and it held my attention from beginning to end.
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Long Time Dead
The film begins showing people using a ouija board in Morocco. Throughout the scene, something is seen from first person perspective coming at high speed towards the people.
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In the Cut
Following the gruesome murder of a young woman in her neighborhood, a self-determined woman living in New York City--as if to test the limits of her own safety--propels herself into an impossibly risky sexual liaison. Soon she grows increasingly wary about the motives of every man with whom she has contact--and about her own.
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Down in the Valley
Set in modern-day San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles, the film begins with rebellious teenager October "Tobe" (Wood), going for a walk with her younger brother, Lonnie (Culkin). The next day, Tobe goes to the beach with friends and when they stop for gasoline they are assisted by Harlan (Norton), a young man, though much older than Tobe - who affects a folksy, cowboy style. Tobe invites much-older Harlan to the beach. He accepts, and while at the beach, they share a passionate kiss. Afterwards, Tobe goes to his house and engages in sexual activities with Harlan. He then decides to take her on a real date which involves him and Tobe taking Lonnie to get something to eat. Later on that night they go on their "real" date dancing then later meeting up with Tobe's friends for another party. That is when he takes drugs under the influence of Tobe. She returns home the next day; having returned home long after she was expected, her father becomes enraged and she retreats to her room. He attempts to talk with her, and when she refuses to open the door, he pounds on the door and leaves visible damage.
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The Last Dragon
A young man searches for the master to obtain the final level of martial arts mastery known as the glow. Along the way he must fight an evil martial arts expert and an rescue a beautiful singer from an obsessed music promoter.
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Jessie McMullen (Sean Connery) is a widower, a tough guy and proud of his past as a career criminal (now semi-retired). He raised his son Vito (Dustin Hoffman) to follow in his footsteps, but Vito went straight once he had a son of his own, Adam.
Over the years, Vito became ashamed of his family's criminal past. He went into a legitimate business and has tried to raise his son right, which in his mind means keeping young Adam (Matthew Broderick) away from his deadbeat grandfather. Little does Vito know that this strategy has backfired; the mystery surrounding Jessie has caused Adam to idolize him.
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Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
Follows Justin Bieber with some footage of performances from his 2010 concert tour.
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When Michael Pecks overbearing parents force him to compete in the Science Fair, he thinks he can shock everyone. Instead, Peck finds teen angst might be clich, but it still sucks.
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Last of the Dogmen
Modern bounty hunter Lewis Gates is hired to track down three dangerous fugitives who have escaped into the Montana wilderness. When the fugitives are found murdered, Gates has a mystery on his hands. Accompanied by anthropologist Lillian Sloane, Gates ventures further into the mountains and discovers an isolated settlement inhabited by a Native American tribe thought to have been wiped out by white settlers a century earlier. The two gradually begin to gain acceptance within the tribe, but when Gates vengeful ex father-in-law, Sheriff Deegan, leads a posse into the mountains, Gates and Sloane must prevent the tribe from being massacred a second time.
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With only three weeks left in his three year contract, Sam Bell is getting anxious to finally return to Earth. He is the only occupant of a Moon-based manufacturing facility along with his computer and assistant, GERTY. The long period of time alone however has resulted in him talking to himself for the most part, or to his plants. Direct communication with Earth is not possible due to a long-standing communication malfunction but he does get an occasional message from his wife Tess. When he has an accident however, he wakens to find that he is not alone. He also comes to realize that his world is not what he thought it was.