I Love You, Beth Cooper

I Love You, Beth Cooper
Boy meets girl. Girl has no idea boy exists despite him having sat behind her in homeroom for years. Boy declares his unconditional love for her during his valedictorian speech at graduation. Girl is mortified and girl's musclehead boyfriend vows revenge. Boy and best friend, along with the girl and her girlfriends, spend one long crazy night on the run from aforementioned whackjob. That's the plot of I Love You, Beth Cooper in a nutshell. Heroes hottie Hayden Panettiere plays the eponymous girl, while relative newcomer Paul Rust plays her geeky would-be suitor, Denis Cooverman.

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Imagine That

Imagine That
Why do bad movies happen to good people? Eddie Murphy gives a very warm, very funny performance as a stressed-out financial executive trying to be a better parent to his seven-year-old daughter in Imagine That, which opened wide today. Evan Danielson is a gentler variation on the wholesome paternal figures he's previously played in Doctor Dolittle, Daddy Day Care, and The Haunted Mansion. In those roles, he's portrayed successful workaholics who've neglected their families to varying degrees.

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Kingdom of Heaven

Kingdom of Heaven
It is the time of the Crusades during the Middle Ages - the world shaping 200-year collision between Europe and the East. A blacksmith named Balian has lost his family and nearly his faith. The religious wars raging in the far-off Holy Land seem remote to him, yet he is pulled into that immense drama. Amid the pageantry and intrigues of medieval Jerusalem he falls in love, grows into a leader, and ultimately uses all his courage and skill to defend the city against staggering odds.

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Hills Have Eyes II

Hills Have Eyes II
The Hills Have Eyes II is a sequel to a remake but not a remake of a sequel. Curiously, Horrormeister Wes Craven has been involved in all four movies featuring the words "hills" and "eyes" in the title. He wrote and directed the 1977 original and its 1985 sequel. He produced the 2006 remake and now he has added writer/producer credits for this movie to his resume. However, whatever optimism I may have had for the movie considering Craven's involvement evaporated quickly once in the theater. Whatever contribution Craven made to the screenplay must have occurred in the middle of the night while he was blindfolded. The hills might have eyes but this is one of those times I wish I didn't; then I could have been spared the headache and boredom inducing experience of sitting through this.

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Step Brothers

Step Brothers
When did Will Ferrell stop being funny? It wasn't that long ago that this Saturday Night Live alum looked to be following in the footsteps of the likes of Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler but, somewhere along the way, Ferrell's train derailed. Now, once again paired with John C. Reilly, he tries so hard and with so little effect to make us laugh that the result is almost physically painful. Few films are worse to sit through than comedies that don't work. Step Brothers is one of those. Humor is subjective, but this movie made me feel as if I had been subjected to something unpleasant.

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Stealth

Stealth
If Rob Cohen's name wasn't attached to this project, I would swear it was the work of Michael Bay. It has all of the crowd-pleasing director's trademarks: plastic characters, chaotic camerawork, lots of things blowing up, and an incredibly dumb screenplay. In short, it represents a great time at the movies for anyone who has recently undergone a frontal lobotomy. No wonder the guy sitting next to me started surfing the Internet with his blackberry less than half-way through this loud, frenetic snooze-fest.

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Cement Garden

Cement Garden
Considering the rancid, nightmarish quality of his books, it's somewhat amazing that a writer like British author Ian McEwan could have three of his works filmed by now. In addition to The Cement Garden, The Comfort of Strangers has been made into a movie (by Paul Schrader in 1991), and The Innocent (directed by John Schlesinger) is due to be released. The most controversial of these, however, is The Cement Garden, principally because of its subject matter: teenage incest.

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Young Guns II

Young Guns II
If "Young Guns II" has it right, 'twas celebrity that drove Billy the Kid. The poor darlin' was not an infantile murderer at all, but a victim of the Wild Western hype machine, a proto-Warholian headline-maggot addicted to his own shameful legend. If only he'd had a publicist, the poor li'l whippersnapper probably would have gone into show business, maybe even gotten a lucrative book contract.

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Dan in Real Life

Dan in Real Life
Dan Burns (Steve Carell) is a newspaper advice columnist, a widower, and a controlling father to his children Jane, Cara and Lilly in the New Jersey suburbs. His column is in contention to be syndicated nationally. The family takes a trip to the Rhode Island home of his parents (Dianne Wiest and John Mahoney) to visit his family—including his New York City-based brother, Mitch (Dane Cook), a personal trainer—for an annual family get together. Cara does not want to go, as she does not want to leave her boyfriend Marty (Felipe Dieppa) whom she claims to have fallen in love with in just three days. But Dan insists that it is not possible to fall in love in three days and makes her go. The morning after his arrival, Dan's mother encourages him to go into town for a bit to give his daughters some space. Dan visits a bookstore and a customer named Marie (Juliette Binoche) mistakes him for an employee. Dan and Marie have an obvious connection and continue to talk over breakfast. Marie agrees to meet with Dan again before leaving but tells Dan that she has a boyfriend. Dan returns to his parents' house and happily announces he has met someone new, only to find that Marie is there, her boyfriend being Dan's brother, Mitch.

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The Corner

The Corner
On the front lines of Americas drug war, one family is living in the crossfire.

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The Wendell Baker Story

The Wendell Baker Story
Owen, Luke, and Andrew Wilson combine their fraternal filmmaking talents to tell the character-driven tale of a small-time con man who gets a fortuitous shot at redemption while working in a run down retirement community. Wendell Baker (Luke Wilson) is a con man whose large heart betrays his criminal mind. Confident to a fault and consistently cool-headed, Baker is the kind of grifter who's always quick with a comeback and never lets the law get in the way of making a quick buck. When Wendell is busted for selling counterfeit Texas driver's licenses to undocumented Mexican migrant workers, he coasts through his prison sentence with the same unflappable attitude that made him the perfect swindler in the outside world. In order to pass the time behind bars without causing waves, mellow convict Wendell buries his nose in books about hotel management checked out from the prison library. Upon release the optimistic ex-con is distraught to discover his girlfriend Dorren (Eva Mendes) has taken up with a quick-tempered grocer (Will Ferrell) and his former partner Reyes (Jacob Vargas) has been forced into retirement by his law-abiding wife. Looking to put his hotel management know-how to good use and determined to win Doreen back, Wendell soon takes a job at the Shady Grove retirement hotel. Little does Wendell realize that scheming Shady Grove head nurse Neil King (Owen Wilson) has been dabbling in fraudulent Medicare payments and forced labor, and has no qualms about pinning his crimes on the carefree ex-convict. Now, if benevolent knave Wendell has any hope of turning the tables on his unscrupulous nemesis and proving that nice guys don't always finish last, he'll have to enlist the aid of fed-up Shady Grove residents Boyd (Seymour Cassel), Skip (Harry Dean Stanton), and Nasher (Kris Kristofferson), who are all more than willing to strike back at their casually cruel caretaker

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Drive Thru

Drive Thru
The film opens with a car full of friends led by Brandon Meeks (Edward DeRuiter) with his pal Tony and their girlfriends cruising and vandalizing the streets of Blanca Carne when the group decides to order food at a fast food restaurant called "Hella-Burger". However, while ordering, they are repeatedly insulted through the intercom system. Furious, Tony breaks into the restaurant gun-loaded to "show clown boy what's up". While inside, Tony continues his search for the employee. A concerned Brandon also enters the restaurant (leaving the females unattended in the car) and finds Tony dead with his head in the deep fryer. In a state shock, Brandon is then attacked by a demonic version of Hella-Burger's mascot "'Horny' the Clown". Brandon tries to bargain with semo, but to no avail as he is killed. Horny then makes his way outside and gruesomely kills the two girls in the car.

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Snowbeast

Snowbeast
In this made for TV film, an enormous and angry bigfoot creature begins to terrorize a Colorado Ski Resort during a winter carnival, by eating several skiers. At first everyone insists it is just a bear, until ski patrolman Tony Rill sees a white shadowy beastly shape disappearing into the woods. Although Tonys grandmother Mrs. Carrie Rill, who owns the Ski Resort and the town sheriff, Sheriff Paraday disagree, it soon becomes clear when the creature finally attacks the town.

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Forever Mine

Forever Mine
Two stories, 14 years apart, converge in a suburb of New York. Manuel Esquema, an international financier, whose face is badly scarred, is flying from Miami to help a New York politician negotiate a plea bargain with the Justice Department. Years before, this financier was a fresh-faced caba

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Ken Park

Ken Park
Ken Park focuses on several teenagers and their tormented home lives. Shawn seems to be the most conventional. Tate is brimming with psychotic rage Claude is habitually harassed by his brutish father and coddled, rather uncomfortably, by his enormously pregnant mother. Peaches looks after her devoutly religious father, but yearns for freedom. Theyre all rather tight, or so they claim. But they spend precious little time together and none of them seems to know much about one anothers family lives. This bizarre dichotomy underscores their alienation the result of suburban ennui, a teenagers inherent sense of melodrama, and the disturbing nature of their home environments.

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Leprechaun 4: In Space

Leprechaun 4: In Space
On a distant planet, a power hungry Leprechaun kidnaps a Dominian princess, Princess Zarina, and plans to make himself king, but not if a bumbling brigade of space marines have anything to say about it. Their commander is a mad scientist by the name of Dr. Mittenhand, whos half machine thanks to one of his experiments. Once on the planet, Leprechaun is blown up, but quickly is reborn through one of the marines (ala Alien) and wreaks havoc aboard the ship, meanwhile Dr. Mittenhand plans to use the princess for his experiments to make himself whole again. But now, after many of the marines are killed, Leprechaun turns Dr. Mittenhand into a grotesque monster and plans to blow up the ship. The remaining marines have to stop his evil plans and blow him up.

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