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Paranormal Activity 2
Video cameras? Check. Spooky noises? Check. Vague nonsense about demons? Correct and present. Annoying characters with slightly wooden acting? Hello, sir. Yes, 2009's low-budget, hype-tastic horror-phenomenon Paranormal Activity is back, to once again make us stare furiously at a static screen and then freak out at the odd rattle of saucepans.
After notching up $195 million across the globe, the reigning champ of the found-footage horror genre was always sequel-bound. However, heavy hearts will remember that the previous title-holder was The Blair Witch Project. That movie's post-modern (and post-quality) follow-up Book of Shadows single-handedly chiselled "don't hack out a rush-job sequel" into the Horror Cliche Commandments, to sit comfortably alongside "don't go down to the basement."
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Youth in Revolt
Based on the popular book by C. D. Payne, Youth in Revolt is awkwardly charming and subtly subversive, much like its young star, Michael Cera. In the dual role of Nick Twisp and his mischievous, imaginary alter ego Francois, Cera manages to expand on his usual on-screen persona – the sensitive, lovesick teen who finds himself out of his depth. Cera and his co-star, newcomer Portia Doubleday, are the best things about the film, which pushes the boundaries of the kinds of transgressions a protagonist can commit without losing the audience's sympathy.
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He's playing games with me, I just know it. You probably think I am being paranoid but paranoia is just knowing all the facts. I mean, how else do you explain my editor once again giving me a DVD to review with zero special features. He keeps telling me to focus my reviews on them but I'd like you to tell me how you review special features like "Play" and "Scene Selection" and nothing else? I tell you that whorehopper is laughing at me.
The Mist is what a horror film should be - dark, tense, and punctuated by just enough gore to keep the viewer's flinch reflex intact. In fact, that movie's ending is so uncompromising that one must assume director Frank Darabont had final cut so the studio couldn't interfere. (It's worth noting that the ending is not the same as that of Stephen King's novella, but I won't mention how it has changed.) Darabont has fashioned a tense motion pictures that's ultimately more about paranoia, religious fanaticism, and the price of hopelessness than it is about monsters. But the creatures are present and accounted for, lurking in the white-out that is the mist. Someone has finally succeeded where John Carpenter failed with The Fog.
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Alien vs. Predator
Alien Vs. Predator is a gimmick - an all-too-blatant attempt to lure fanboys away from their computer games and into theaters. It's not likely that the movie will be of great interest to anyone else, except perhaps as a curiosity. As an attempt to revive two flagging franchises, the film succeeds in reminding us of how far they have fallen. Sure, the Aliens in Alien Vs. Predator look just like their Aliens counterparts, but gone is the creepy terror they once produced. And, compared to the hunter of Predator, the creatures in this movie turn out to be pushovers.
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There's nothing in The Guardian that audiences haven't previously been exposed to ad nauseam. Take a little of An Officer and a Gentleman and a little Top Gun and throw in some waves and underwater sequences, and you have The Guardian - only with less charismatic actors, more tame sex scenes, and a lot less energy. The director is Andrew Davis, who made The Fugitive more than a decade ago. It hardly seems possible that this lazy, sluggish, overlong production could be the work of the same man.
The Ninth Gate has two modes: tedious and moronic, with the two not being mutually exclusive. Then, one-hundred minutes into this seemingly interminable movie (which clocks in at about 2:10), things take a turn for the worse and The Ninth Gate spirals out of control. A jaw-droppingly bad mixture of film noir and the occult, this picture plods and meanders its way through one uninspired scene after another until it reaches an improbable, laughable climax followed by an equally ridiculous denouement. Only the lobotomized and the brain dead will be able to figure out the logic embraced by The Ninth Gate.
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Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon
In the wake of widespread criticism of the second live action Transformers movie, Revenge of the Fallen, director Michael Bay admitted dissatisfaction with the screenplay and blamed it on the writers' strike. So what's the excuse this time? If anything, the script for Transformers: Dark of the Moon is worse than that of its predecessor. In the future, maybe Bay should abandon using a screenwriter altogether and just fill up 90 minutes with disconnected images of robo-carnage. That would serve two purposes: eliminate the need to watch actors embarrass themselves trying to outshine the hardware and elide excruciating dialogue, exposition, and "character development," all of which are inferior to what one finds in the average Pink Panther cartoon.
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Outside Providence is a simple coming of age story, a nostalgia-soaked trip back to the mid-'70s when the social fabric of the American youth was stitched together by sex, drugs, and rock music. The film, despite never venturing into uncharted territory, is funny, warm, and endearing, and features a protagonist who grows on the audience. Because the themes are universal (first love, rebellion against restrictive authority, generational friction), nearly everyone, regardless of their age or gender, should be able to relate to the experiences of Timothy "Dildo" Dunphy.
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Chloe Lawrence (Mary-Kate Olsen) is a very driven teenager and leader of her high school's Model United Nations team. After performing particularly well in a competition, the team is selected to attend the international Model UN competition in London, United Kingdom. One of the team members, Randall, is unable to attend. Chloe's twin sister, Riley (Ashley Olsen), steps in to fill the gap – to get closer to Chloe's attractive teammate, Brian, more than anything else. When the group arrives in London, they discover that someone is already representing their usual country: China. Undaunted, they improvise and end up representing the UK. Plenty of sight-seeing and shopping ensues, while Chloe takes a fancy to James Browning, the son of an English noble, Lord Browning, who is pressuring his son to achieve more. As the competition progresses, Chloe's over-competitive nature stalls her budding romance, Riley tries to get closer to Brian, and the team earns both admiration and anger for their unconventional methods. Nevertheless, tribulations are weathered and lessons learned about sportsmanship, overlooked friends, and learning to enjoy one's youth.
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An Iranian-born teenager living in suburban New Jersey thinks of herself as simply an American until anti-Iranian sentiment erupts in her community after American hostages are held in Iran.
Battle in Seattle
For five days in 1999, all eyes were on Seattle. Irish actor Stuart Townsend makes his directorial debut with a multi-character recreation of the World Trade Organizations ill-fated U.S. conference. If the structure recalls Crash and Babel, Townsend intensifies the you-are-there quality through well-integrated archival footage. The docudrama opens with the arrival of a group of anti-globalization activists, led by Jay (The Rings Martin Henderson), whose compatriots include Lou (Losts Michelle Rodriguez) and Django (Outkasts Andr 3000 Benjamin, who provides a welcome dose of humor). As fictional Mayor Jim Tobin (Ray Liotta, wearing a touch too much eyeliner) tries to maintain order, TV reporter Jean (Connie Nielsen) strives for objectivity, police officer Woody Harrelson attempts to carry out the mayors orders, and Dales pregnant wife, Ella (Charlize Theron, Townsends real-life girlfriend), just hopes to make it home in one piece (she gets stuck downtown at the height of the skirmish). Townsend admits he was inspired by Medium Cool, which filmmaker Haskell Wexler shot during 1968s Democratic National Convention. Paul Greengrasss Bloody Sunday also seems like a possible influence, and Greengrass regular Barry Ackroyd serves as cinematographer. If the characters rarely come alive the way they should, the action sequences easily convince, which is particularly impressive considering the bulk of filming took place in nearby Vancouver, B.C. A true labor of love, Battle in Seattle presents a more balanced view than most accounts to date--even if Townsend ultimately (and understandably) sides with the peaceful protesters and passionate Third World representatives.
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One Way to Valhalla
Bo Durant, a volatile, working-class gearhead, sees himself trapped in a world with few possibilities but when he falls off his stepdaughters bike, suffers a concussion, stops eating, and smashes up the backyard with a sledgehammer, he begins to feel free for the first time in his life.
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Something awaits Tyler Jensen and his friends in the Hallettsville house. When Tylers lifelong friends start dying, he must figure out a way to save himself, his girlfriend and the rest of the crew before the demons come.
When Clark Griswold puts his mind to something, we soon realize he hasnt got one. Still, nothing stops him when the vacation bug hits. This time, hes chosen Las Vegas, the new family entertainment capital of America! Chevy Chase returns as bubbly, bumbling Clark in Vegas Vacation, a jokers-are-wild laugh fest including two other stars from past Vacations. Beverly DAngelo is back as wife Ellen, doting on the guy she calls Sparky, and Randy Quaid again delights as grubby goof ball Cousin Eddie. Ethan Embry (That Thing You Do!) and screen-debuting Marisol Nichols are Griswold teens who love the round-the-clock nightlife - as long as they dont share it with Mom and Dad! From Seigfried and Roys extravaganza to a Hoover Dam tour, from cruising to losing (Wallace Shawn as a shifty blackjack dealer) to amorous crooning (Wayne Newton falls for Ellen) watch Clark try to keep family and wallet together!
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Beneath the Dark aka Wake
Driving to a wedding in Los Angeles through the Mojave Desert, Paul and Adrienne pull off the highway and into Roys Motel and Cafe. This roadside artifact proves to be a strange and surreal place with an unsettling mix of travelers, who force our couple to discover the secret hidden between them and ultimately, the horrifying reality of their current situation.
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