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Do you want to see Ving Rhames wielding an outboard motor to fend off a pack of bloodthirsty fish? Do you want to see a wet T-shirt contest that turns into a bloodbath? How about an extended nude underwater ballet between Kelly Brook and adult film star Riley Steele? Do you want to see Fishmageddon? Then you must see Piranha 3D.
Alexandre Aja (High Tension, Mirrors) has crafted a remake of the classic Roger Corman film Piranha that's been updated to the present, set in the midst of Spring Break debauchery, and filmed in 3D. It's every bit as gratuitous and gory as you might expect, and its tongue is firmly in cheek. If you are a fan of '80s horror movies, you'll feel right at home during this one, even if it is a lot gorier than most films from that era. For those who require more cerebral fare… go jump in a lake.
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How Do You Know
How Do You Know is cute, harmless, and utterly forgettable. For a while it was being buzzed about as a potential Oscar contender, but that was based solely on the fact it's a James L Brooks (Broadcast News, Terms of Endearment, As Good As It Gets) film starring Reese Witherspoon. Once people actually had a chance to see it, the buzz was cut off - and rightfully so. How Do You Know isn't that big epic love story we've been waiting for all year. Instead, it's simply a nice diversion and nothing more.
How Do You Know has a charming cast and an Oscar winning filmmaker at the helm. It had potential, but suffers from having characters who are...and here's the kiss of death...just blah. How Do You Know also disappoints because its blah characters act and talk like they're in a romantic comedy. There's barely a genuine moment in the film, and what does feel real has nothing to do with the three attractive leads but instead comes from supporting player Kathryn Hahn and her relationship with her boyfriend.
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Deja Vu is how the French described the sensation of seeing or experiencing something you feel you've already seen or experienced before. Movies have created all sorts of mystical contexts or explanations for it (one of my particular favorites came from The Matrix) but Tony Scott's latest offering has a new take on the concept. For his new film he tosses in a heavy dose of sci-fi to give the phenomenon of Deja Vu an intriguing techno-edge. There's also plenty of good humor and a twist of romance, but make no mistake: it's first and foremost an action thriller and Scott, as usual, delivers.
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"Click" is a very interesting movie, telling the story of Michael Newman, a workaholic arhitect, who one day finds a remote controller with which he can control time. He can pause it, skip some boring moments, jump further in his life and even view past moments from it. The things begin to go wrong as the remote controller takes over his life.
Walt Disney once held a monopoly on animated family flicks, but the death of Disney led to a long drought until “The Little Mermaid” appeared to resurrect the Disney franchise. However, after “The Lion King”, a series of failures left Disney waning until its partnership with Pixar studios.
Since this is a thriller, there must be a twist. One goes into a movie like The Number 23 with this expectation. However, not only is the twist telegraphed early but it is presented in a clumsy and unconvincing manner. Other films have employed a similar plot device to good effect. (I will refrain from naming titles since that would constitute unnecessary spoilerage.) The Number 23 shows how not to do it. The film has a few things going for it. Matthew Libatique's cinematography is evocative and there are isolated individual scenes that work when dissociated from the movie as a whole. But as a cohesive piece of entertainment, The Number 23 is largely a failure.
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The unadulterated anger directed towards German filmmaker Uwe Boll is, for the most part, warranted. Simply put: The man doesn’t make good movies, and people tend to hate him for it. However, despite Boll’s dedication to impossibly bad taste and his penchant for taking popular videogames and completely reworking their core storylines to suit his ambitions, I am hopelessly drawn to the man’s body of work. No matter how wretched or downright pathetic his latest endeavor may be, I always seem to come back for more whenever the Gods of Celluloid graciously allow him to create another feature-length abomination. I like to call it cinematic masochism. Old-fashioned stupidity works, too.
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The film is about a hit man (Randy Quaid) who gives a compulsive gambler (Jay Baruchel) one hour to live. The movie takes place in real time and its ultimate subject is what we do with the time we have in this world. The film begins when Andy, a hyperactive compulsive gambler, is plucked off the street by the calm yet imposing hit man, Reuban. Reuban tells Andy that he’s been dispatched to kill him. Andy doesn’t believe him at first. He figures it’s just another one of Reuban’s scare tactics to get him to pay off his gambling debt.
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Jack is caught with the wife of his employer, a Vegas thug. The thug sends goons after Jack, who convinces his best friend, Pilot, to flee with him. Pilot insists that they head for Seattle, but doesnt tell Jack why. The goons learn from Pilots drug source where the youths are headed, and they follow, hell bent on breaking Jacks feet. On the road, Jack and Pilot give a ride to Cassie, a distressed young woman. She and Jack hit it off. They pick up an aging stoner headed to Seattle for Kurt Cobains memorial, and they help a circus sideshow family. Why is Pilot so set on Seattle, will the goons catch Jack, and is there any way the friends competing needs can be resolved?
Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars
The story itself begins with a flashback, and as one would expect, its not good news. Crichton is apparently on his deathbed on a badly damaged Moya, and Aeryn is lamenting the possibility that Johns victory has come at the price of his own life. Two things are readily apparent the war itself is over by Crichtons hand, and Aeryn has survived the final battle. All else is suspect, and that places everything in perspective...
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Bernard is a teacher in the suburbs and lives with Victoria. Didier is a wealthy Parisian pharmacist and is married to Murielle, Victoria's sister. While the former drives a rusty 205, the other, the latter drives a black Mercedes. Both "beau-freres" are complete opposites and hate each other. During dinner, Didier and Bernard make a bet: to stop smoking for fifteen days, until the next family get-together. The first days go off like a dream and both are on top of the world. But things quickly turn sour. Didier and Bernard find it harder and harder to resist the temptation. They become irritable, suspicious, they lie; until the fifteenth day: the family get-together. They have kept their word, but relations between them and their wives are at an all time low. Despite this, they are both determined to remain non-smokers.
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Knights of Bloodsteel
Introduced in the film world, depends on the rare metal known as steel blood. These elements are the source of all magical energy, but soon it will end. Tesselink hires ordinary people - John Perfidu, goblin Behr paint touch-and force the young rogue Adrika. Together, they will be knights of the steel of blood, and their main task will be to find the mythical Crucible - the source of the steel of blood. The team will face the army of evil forces, led by the ruthless and powerful Eye of the Dragon. Who first finds the Crucible, he will have unlimited power.
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Michael is a recovering alcoholicdrug user. Back on the wagon, hes now responsible for a young, beautiful, and pregnant wife. Hes working the graveyard shift at a gas station to support his new family, but the job drives him crazy. Then a wealthy stranger, Stuart, enters Michaels life, taking Michael through a tour of the seediest and slimiest parts of L.A. underbelly. Is Stuart leading Michael to hell, or salvation?
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Two girls go away to a holiday resort looking for a change of pace, hoping to meet some nice men for a change. They discover that they cant find the perfect man, and this forces them to reconsider thei attitudes to men in general.
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Truly Madly Deeply
Once upon a time there were two people in love, their names were Nina and Jamie. They were even happy enough to be able to live happily ever after, (not often the case) and then Jamie died. Nina is left with a house full of rats and handymen, a job teaching foreigners English and an ache that fills the night sky.
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A married drunk hooks up with the ex-girlfriend of a vicious local criminal. He gets booted out of home for his infidelity, has a murderer on his tail, and must try to write the story of his life in order to save his journalism job. He gets help from a stripper dressed as a nun and goes undercover dressed as Shaggy from Scooby Doo. He finds a drinking buddy in an American fellow journalist.
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