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Here's the horror-comedy Jennifer's Body in a nutshell: two lifelong friends -- ridiculously hot high school cheerleader Jennifer Check (Megan Fox) and frumpy but devoted Needy Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfried) -- have the ultimate falling out when Jennifer becomes possessed and turns into a man-eating succubus. Jennifer's Body isn't the train wreck that some were probably expecting. It's just another mediocre horror movie about teenagers, and it's neither the best nor the worst of its kind. But it's also not scary enough to work as a horror film, satirical enough to always work as a comedy, or insightful enough to serve as a commentary on teen angst or men's fear of female sexuality. Perhaps the scariest thing about this movie is that it was written by an Oscar winner, Diablo Cody.
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Horton Hears a Who!
Admittedly, it's been about 35 years since I was reader of Dr. Seuss, but my memories of his books are that they're short and economical with words. Neither of those descriptions applies to this theatrical version of Horton Hears a Who!, which has found a way to take a thin, pithy book and stretch it out to feature length - despite the fact that a completely acceptable and much shorter version already exists. This is not the first time the good doctor's material has undergone such stretching. The live action How the Grinch Stole Christmas survived the experience but The Cat in the Hat suffered fate worse than eating green eggs and ham. Horton Hears a Who! doesn't enter the live-action realm, which is probably a good thing, but the lengthened result has its own charm and is enjoyable in a family-friendly sort of way, even if it feels a little like Dr. Seuss by way of Ice Age.
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Perhaps the most puzzling dramaturgic phenomenon of recent date is Irwin Shaw, the Brooklyn youth who wrote a startling one-act play called "Bury the Dead" last season, on the strength of which he was hoisted on numerous shoulders and borne in triumph to Hollywood, only to turn out a picture called "The Big Game," now playing at the Rialto. Burdened with a strictly supplementary cast of eight all-American players, Mr. Shaw could hardly have been expected to figure, in his maiden screen effort, as a second George Bernard, and R.-K.-O. deserves at least half the blame for so flagrant a misuse of talent.
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A routine trick at a man's apartment propels a cynical hustler into a series of strange and life-changing encounters in this stunningly photographed drama from San Francisco-based Joseph Graham.
To sum up Alexander in three words, I would choose the following: three-hour miscalculation. Although some aspects of Oliver Stone's sword-and-sandals epic are worthy of mention (and even praise), they are dwarfed by the missteps and examples of bad judgment. Instead of delivering a mainstream tale of battle and glory along the lines of Gladiator, Stone decided to re-imagine the great Alexander as a Hamlet-like figure. Rather than developing the title character as a larger-than-life individual whose flaws give him a more rounded personality, Stone turns Alexander into a character who is defined by those flaws. He is weak, indecisive, plagued by self-doubt, and obsessed. It's not credible that a man of this nature could conquer 90% of the known world by the age of 32, and therein lies Alexander's conundrum. By de-mythologizing Alexander, Stone has turned him into an unbelievable individual. We accept great deeds from great people, not from sniveling whiners.
Punisher: War Zone
Marvel Comics must really like The Punisher. This is their third attempt to bring him to the big screen. There's a saying that "the third time's a charm," but it doesn't apply here. More appropriate is this baseball-related statement: "Three strikes and you're out." Chiefly because of the slick production values and shorter running time, Punisher: War Zone is an improvement over 2004's The Punisher (with Thomas Jane in the title role), but not to an extent that most people will notice. It's considerably better than the earlier Dolph Lundgren version, but the less said about that the better. Punisher: War Zone is bad enough that it may remind viewers how lucky we have been this year to get two superior superhero movies in Iron Man and The Dark Knight.
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Home of the Brave
Home of the Brave starts out with promise as it shows to good effect the chaos and uncertainty inherent in "battling" in current-day Iraq. Unfortunately, after the action shifts from the deserts of the Middle East to the relative calm of the home front (specifically, Spokane, Washington), it devolves into a morass of melodramatic clichés. Not only is the bulk of Home of the Brave preachy and predictable, but it features some of the worst dialogue to be found in any non-horror film this year. There's no doubt that director Irwin Winkler and screenwriter Mark Friedman came to this project with the best of intentions. However, as the saying goes, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Sitting through Home of the Brave isn't cinematic hell, but it's only a step up.
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Rory O'Shea Was Here
Rory O'Shea Was Here treads a fine line between offering an unvarnished look at the tribulations of being disabled and stumbling into the realm of Hollywood-inspired claptrap. At its best, Damien O'Donnell's film peers into aspects of the lives of its protagonists that might be overlooked by other films. At its worst, it veers into a morass of cloying and artificial sentimentality. It's a difficult task to make a movie about disabled individuals and not have it seem, at least at times, preachy, politically correct, or pandering. Despite giving us sympathetic and well-developed characters, Rory O'Shea Was Here trips that trap more than once.
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Richard III - it's Shakespeare that has nothing to do with Kenneth Branagh. Actually, at first glance, this film doesn't appear to have anything to do with the Bard's play, either. Opening in a 1930's England war room with a tank crashing through a wall, one is immediately struck by the realization that, whatever this movie is doing, it certainly isn't preserving the story's original time frame. However, while the sets and costumes have been moved to a mythical, Nazi-like pre-WWII England, the dialogue, characters, actions, and themes remain unchanged from the original text by Shakespeare. While this curious clash between a near-modern setting and the much older source material might seem confounding, it actually serves to energize the play, as well as making it more palatable to present-day audiences.
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Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
The film is about Mary "Lola" Cep (pronounced as both "sep" and "step" in the film) (Lindsay Lohan), a 15-year-old girl who grew up in New York City and wants desperately to be a famous Broadway actress. Lola narrates the story. Much to her chagrin, she moves with her family to the suburbs of Dellwood, New Jersey, but she confidently tells the audience "A legend is about to be born. That legend would be me."
At school, Lola makes friends with an unpopular girl named Ella Gerard (Alison Pill), who shares her love for the rock band Sidarthur. Lola idolizes the band's lead singer Stu Wolff (Adam Garcia). She also meets Sam, a cute boy who takes a liking to her, and makes enemies with Carla Santini (Megan Fox), the most popular girl in school.
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In the world of underground motorcycle clubs, the undefeated racer known as Smoke (Laurence Fishburne) is the undisputed "King of Cali." But Smoke's dominance of the set is about to be threatened by a young motorcycle racing prodigy called Kid (Derek Luke), who is determined to win Smoke's helmet and earn the coveted title.
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The film opens with an intense scene of undercover narcotics officer Nick Tellis (Jason Patric) chasing a drug dealer through the streets of Detroit after his identity has been discovered. After the dealer fatally injects a bystander with drugs (whom Tellis was forced to leave behind), he holds a young child hostage. Tellis manages to shoot and kill the dealer before he can hurt the child. However, one of the bullets inadvertently hits the child's pregnant mother, causing her to eventually miscarry.
The Finished People
Abigail Hatherleys soundtrack is haunting, shades of Ryuichi Sakamotos Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence coming to mind in the compositional mix of woodwinds and synthesizer moods. In such a raw film her fleetingly beautiful music touches us like a breeze...
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A brooding detective assumes the persona of his young daughter and obsessively hunts internet chat rooms for the pedophile who killed her.
Beethoven's Big Break aka Beethoven's 6th
Eddie, a struggling animal trainer and single dad suddenly finds himself the personal wrangler for a large and lovable St. Bernard whose fabulous movie audition catapults the dog to stardom. However, a trio of unscrupulous neer-do-wells have plans to kidnap the famous dog and hold him for ransom
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Little Lord Fauntleroy
Ceddie, Earl of Dorincourts only grandson and heir lives in America with his mother. The Earl, getting old, asks them to come to England. Ceddie, now Lord Fauntleroy, is an adorable little fellow. The Earl, who at first was rather distant, becomes more en more fond of him. Then Minna shows up. She claims she was married to the Earls eldest son and that her son, being their child, is the Earls true heir...
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