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The Happening

The Happening
The knives had been out and sharpened long before M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie, “The Happening,” opened on Friday. A fine craftsman with aspirations to the canon, this would-be auteur has, in the last few years, experienced a sensational fall from critical and commercial grace, partly through his own doing — by making bad movies and then, even after those movies failed, by continuing to feed his ego publicly — and partly through the entertainment media that, once they smell weakness, will always bite the hand they once slathered in drool.

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Prowl
Teenager Amber (Courtney Hope) hates her small hometown. I mean, really, really hates it. She’s feeling so suffocated by the place that she’s starting to hallucinate blood and body parts and having flashes of monsters in her dreams. Fortunately for Amber, she’s got a cool little apartment and a fresh spanking new life waiting for her in Chicago — that is, if she can get there in a few days to claim them. To this end, Amber recruits her buddies, specifically BFF Suzy (Ruta Gedmintas) to get her to the Windy City. The rest of her friends come along for the ride, but after a brief trip in a van that subsequently breaks down, the friends are left stranded on the road. Enter helpful trucker Bernard (Bruce Payne), who offers the kids a lift since he’s going to Chicago anyway. Yeah, you probably shouldn’t accept rides from Bruce Payne. Haven’t these kids ever watched a single horror movie in their life?

Give “Prowl” this: Patrik Syversen (“Manhunt”) has made a nice little horror movie. Tim Tori’s script plays out like some indie drama for the first 20 minutes or so, with only those brief bloody flashes by Amber to remind you that Yes, you’re actually watching a horror movie that’s only setting up the premise. Once things start cooking, and the kids find themselves dumped unceremoniously into an abandoned slaughterhouse in the middle of nowhere by trucker Bernard, things get bloody real, real fast. In short order, the kids are picked off one by one, eventually leaving only BFFs Suzy and Amber to make a run for it. The culprits? Vampires. Yes, vampires. A feeding nest of vampires, to be more specific, led by their “mother” Veronica (Saxon Trainor).

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Sex Drive

Sex Drive
Sometimes, even a hardened critic can be surprised by a movie. Based on the promotional material, Sex Drive appears headed down the worn track followed by a long line of formulaic teenage road comedies. I won't bother listing the titles - those with a fondness for the genre know them by heart. Suffice it to say, it's not an impressive lineage. Sex Drive starts out much as one might suspect from a film with that title and, for a while, it meanders deeper into familiar territory, seemingly on cruise control. Then something unexpected happens. The characters begin developing personalities. The situations start going for more than just cheap laughs. It's as if John Hughes stole pages 30 through 110 of the Sean Anders/John Morris script and replaced it with something that has a heart in addition to gonads.

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Dawn of the Dead

Dawn of the Dead
It takes guts to remake a movie that is commonly considered a classic. Of course, that hasn't stopped filmmakers in the past - attempts have been made to modernize such "untouchables" as Casablanca and It's a Wonderful Life, with predictably unfortunate results. George Romero's 1978 followup to his classic Night of the Living Dead is not in the same class as either of those titles, but it is viewed by many horror fans as a seminal genre feature. In addition to Tom Savini's groundbreaking blood and gore, Dawn of the Dead is often cited for its allegorical aspects (zombies equating to mindless consumers). Pardon me if I stray from the mainstream in my opinion of the movie. I am not a fan of the original Dawn of the Dead. I find it to be badly acted, overlong, and silly instead of scary. (And it's not that all '70s horror leaves me cold - the original Halloween, released at just about the same time, has withstood the passage of years.) Putting aside the satire of consumer consumption, freshman director Zack Snyder's remake is superior in many ways.

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Elektra

Elektra
I have never understood the appeal of Jennifer Garner as an action/adventure star. Based on my limited exposure to her work, she's better in comedic or lightly dramatic roles (such as her turn in 13 Going on 30). Nothing that happens in Elektra has changed my mind. Although Garner was arguably the best thing about the lukewarm comic book adaptation of Daredevil, her character had limited screen-time, playing fourth fiddle to Ben Affleck, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Colin Farrell. The translation from supporting character to lead doesn't go smoothly. Garner has difficulty carrying this movie, although the weakness of the script could be part of the reason.

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Blade: Trinity

Blade: Trinity
If you're going to make a vampire movie, here's a piece of advice: leave Dracula out of it. The character is so iconic that virtually no cinematic interpretation will do him justice. Unfortunately, that's not something that writer/director David S. Goyer recognizes. So, in order to give vampire-hunter Blade a "worthy" adversary for his third outing, Goyer elects to pit the hybrid superhero against his old comic-book nemesis (on the written page, Blade first debuted in "Tomb of Dracula"), with unfortunate results. Take away the film's attitude, and you're left with Son of Van Helsing.

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Bubble

Bubble
Bubble is a history-making movie: the first film released simultaneously in movie theaters, on pay-per-view TV, and on DVD. As the initial move toward the collapse of the multiplex-to-video window, it's a baby step. The film is an excellent choice for this. It's a low-budget, independent effort with little mainstream appeal. But Steven Soderbergh's name on it guarantees it won't be overlooked. For those not living near one of the thirty-odd venues offering Bubble on their marquee, there is no need to wait four months for home video availability. In fact, it's possible to argue that the DVD is the preferred way to see the film. It's not the kind of movie that will suffer from a reduction in screen size, and there are several valuable features on the disc (an intriguing deleted scene, interviews, and two commentary tracks) that are not found in theaters.

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Raise Your Voice

Raise Your Voice
Critique:
Hilary Duff is cashing in on her star power and has had five movies released over the last 18 months. This time out, Hilary stars as Terri Fletcher, a 16 year old small town aspiring musician and dedicated daughter. Her big dream is to head off to Los Angeles for a summer at the foremost music conservatory in the United States. Unfortunately for her, her father (David Keith) is against the idea.

Raise Your Voice starts off with a music video. A choppy, truncated, and frenetic montage of clips, foreshadowing the majority of the rest of the movie. The first third of the film is setting up for Terri's inevitable trip to LA, and it is excruciatingly slow. There is a good plot twist that comes on unexpectedly which sets up for some good conflict later in the film. It is the turning point in the glacial pace of the movie, but you still must endure the incomplete songs and MTV video edits.

It is understandable that a movie about a girl going to a music school would have plenty of music in it. However, other than a couple well handled performances at the end of the movie, the majority of the music takes the viewer outside of the film and terribly disrupts the pacing. To add to the music problems, most of the songs are cut and pasted in an incomplete fashion and are abandoned just as they start to become interesting on their own.

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Elizabethtown

Elizabethtown
Following scathing audience reaction to a "work copy" of Elizabethtown shown at several major late-summer film festivals, writer/director Cameron Crowe went back to the drawing board, paring down the 138-minute "director's cut" to a slightly more manageable 125 minutes. However, having seen both versions, I can state that the elimination of 13 minutes does not address the film's chief flaws. At best, it's a cosmetic fix. The theatrical edition of Elizabethtown, while shorter than its film festival sibling, does not represent a significant improvement.

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Casino

Casino
After viewing Casino, you may never look at Las Vegas in quite the same way. While this film, adapted from Nicholas Pileggi's nonfiction book, Casino: Love and Honor in Las Vegas, doesn't offer much in the way of startling revelations, it presents a fascinating insider's perspective of what goes on behind-the-scenes in the country's gambling mecca. As is stated several times, Vegas isn't about fun, glitz, or glamour. Those things are just the surface gloss. Instead, it's all about greed and money -- bringing customers in, keeping them playing, and sucking them dry.

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Eight Legged Freaks

Eight Legged Freaks
In the quiet mining town of Prosperity, Arizona, an accident involving a rabbit causes a barrel of toxic waste to land in a reservoir. An exotic spider farmer named Joshua (Tom Noonan) has been making regular visits to the site, where he collects crickets for his spiders. Although the spiders have ingested the toxins, he is oblivious since the arachnids seem unaffected. Joshua shows Mike (Scott Terra), a local boy, his collection. After Mike leaves, Joshua is bitten by an escaped tarantula and accidentally knocks down the spider cages. He is killed by the spiders and, after devouring him, the spiders grow to even huger proportions. His pet parrot is also presumed killed, when a tarantula grabs onto its head.

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Young and Seductive

Young and Seductive
A pretty sex researcher is writing a book about sexual liaisons arranged online, but some of her lovely interviewees are turning up strangled to death.

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Boa vs. Python

Boa vs. Python
The film opens with a pro-wrestling bout in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Two masked wrestlers, one named "Boa" the other "Python", are grappling. Enjoying this spectacle is multi-millionaire casino owner Broddick (Adam Kendrick) and his girlfriend Eve (Angel Boris). Their night out is interrupted by a phone call. We cut to see the man making the call, Ramon. He informs Broddick that his "package" has arrived and is being delivered. Broddick is delighted and promises lucrative compensation to Ramon for his work.

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Polk County Pot Plane aka In Hot Pursuit

Polk County Pot Plane aka In Hot Pursuit
They Were Hooked on Life in the Fast Lane ...

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Hannah Gadsby: Kiss Me Quick Im Full Of Jubes

Hannah Gadsby: Kiss Me Quick Im Full Of Jubes
It does contain the trademark droll, heart-breakingly funny, self-deprecating observations about Hannah Gadsby and her family that have delighted audiences all over the world.

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Lost and Delirious

Lost and Delirious

A newcomer to a girls boarding school is befriended by her two new roommates, and later discovers they are lovers. When one of the lovers decides she doesnt dare continue the relationship, the other becomes desperate in her attempts to win her back.

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