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If Michael Bay were a strip club, he'd be one of those high-class joints where all the gorgeous girls work, dancing to two-minute R&B songs while offering top-shelf champagne and primo lap dances, but never letting you do anything more than touch. If Neveldine & Taylor were a strip club, they'd be the small, cramped room with blaring rock music, one pole in the middle of the floor, a bar that pours only watered-down Tequila shots and a stage full of skanks who'll do anything for $50. They're both essentially about the same stuff -- hot chicks, violent action, pounding music and snappy visuals -- but one leaves you feeling quasi-classy and satisfied where the other leaves you feeling like a dirty, degenerate scumbag.
Underachieving even by the standards of stoner comedies, “Strange Wilderness” is so inert that it doesn’t so much unreel on screen as loiter there, giggling at its own outrageousness.
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Wrong Side of Town
I miss good-old-fashioned knuckle busters -- the sort of low-budget action fare that launched the careers of several B-movie action stars, not to mention stars like Bruce Lee, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, and many others.
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On a remote island in the Pacific Northwest, a scientist named Dr. Krieger (Udo Kier) is conducting horrific genetic experiments in his secret facility.
Krieger is attempting to create the ultimate soldier for his financial backers and is not above using his own men as test subjects and fodder for his experiments as the morally lacking Krieger only cares about his work and his funding.
In the film “Far Cry”, Director Uwe Boll has taken the classic 3D shooter from Ubisoft and given it his own unique interpretation.
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Arriving in theaters two weeks late but otherwise unscathed is Antoine Fuqua's Training Day, the story of an idealistic young cop who gets a hard lesson about life in the streets from a veteran. Shining with the star power of Denzel Washington (playing the most morally ambiguous role of a fruitful career) and Ethan Hawke, Training Day crackles with energy. It's two hours long, but seems a lot shorter. However, as good as most of the movie is, it could have been better had the ending evidenced more careful scripting and less of a reliance upon contrivances.
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Some critics, including Siskel & Ebert, are on the record stating that Martin Scorsese's Raging Bull, the story of boxer Jake La Motta, is the best film of the '80s. Since there are still a number of '80s films that I haven't seen, I don't feel qualified to make such a judgment, but I'll say this without hesitation: Raging Bull is a great motion picture, and I would be surprised if more than a handful of films released between January 1, 1980 and December 31, 1989 come close to its level.
Bio-pics often fall into one of two categories: overblown hero-worship or a dry, dull textbook account. It's rare that a movie with the moniker "based on the life of..." comes across as anything more than sporadically energetic and marginally entertaining. Raging Bull is the perfect counterexample, and a brilliant argument for film makers to continue to work in this genre. The picture takes the life of boxer Jake La Motta, a Middleweight icon from the '40s and '50s, and develops one of the most compelling character studies ever to reach the big screen. For all 129 minutes, director Martin Scorsese and actor Robert De Niro (in the title role) have us mesmerized by this individual who is by turns sympathetic, sad, and horrifying.
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Nobel prize winning writer. Nazi sympathizer. Deep thinker. Naive fool. To some, Knut Hamsun was a hero, but to most, he was a villain and a coward who sold out to Hitler for the price of safety and respect. In Hamsun, a powerful 1996 feature from renowned Swedish director Jan Troell (The Emigrants), the tragedy of Hamsun's life is laid bare before the camera over a 17 year period (from 1935 until his death in 1952). This is a singularly striking and unforgettable portrayal of a great man whose hubris led to his fall. Shakespearean in its approach and structure, Hamsun represents the first time I have ever felt real pity and sorrow for a figure linked by history to the rise of the Third Reich.
Tekken: The Motion Picture
Hey folks Valkor here. When it comes to making a video game into a feature film, well the success rate hasn't been all that high. It gets even worse when you try to take a fighting game and make it into a feature. Mortal Kombat was the only real success, but try watching it now… it will make your stomach ache as the film definitely doesn't hold up. Street Fighter bombed…
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2012: Ice Age
I just watched the epic apocalyptic thriller, 2012. No, not that schlocky, big-budget, Hollywood nonsense with John Cusack in it. Hell, no! I’m talking about 2012 Ice Age baby! I even jacked up the a.c. in my house to heighten the frigid experience. Give me a second to thaw out my frozen tootsies and I’ll tell you all about it.
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Into the Blue
Greed turns an idyllic vacation into a nightmare in this action drama. Jared Cole (Paul Walker) makes his living salvaging wreckage from ships off the coast of the Bahamas. He shares a rattle-trap trailer home with his girlfriend, Samantha "Sam" Nicholson (Jessica Alba), a shark expert who works at a nearby resort. While both are happy with their lives in the islands, Jared dreams of finding a major score and living the high life.
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The Man from Elysian Fields
Byron Tiller, happily married with a young child, is a writer whose last novel has ended up in the remainder bins. Down on his luck and struggling to make ends meet, he keeps bashing away, refusing to admit that perhaps he is not that good.
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The film opens at a Los Angeles radio station, where Joe Dirt, (David Spade) works as a janitor and lives in a boiler room in the basement of the studio. When a producer at the radio station discovers Joe getting bullied in the hallway, the producer finds Joe's natural white trash demeanor too over the top to be believed, and insists he be brought into the studio to talk live on the air with a famous disc jockey named Zander Kelly (Dennis Miller). Joe tells his life story, beginning with his being inadvertently left behind by his parents at the Grand Canyon when he was eight. After growing up in a series of bizarre foster homes, Joe finds himself living in the outskirts of the village of Silvertown where he pursues a love interest, Brandy (Brittany Daniel). The local bully Robby (Kid Rock) also has a crush on Brandy but cannot get it through his head that she loves Joe and not him.
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In Chicago, Wesley Gibson works at a dead-end desk job with an overbearing boss, takes anti-anxiety medication for panic attacks, and has a live-in girlfriend who cheats on him with his best friend Barry. One night in the pharmacy, Wesley is told by a mysterious woman named Fox that his father was a recently murdered assassin, and the killer, Cross, is after him. Cross and Fox engage in a shoot-out followed by a car chase in the streets of Chicago. Wesley manages to escape and Fox then has a shoot out again with Cross, causing a car accident that knocks Wesley unconscious. Fox brings Gibson to the headquarters of The Fraternity, a thousand-year-old secret society of assassins. The group's leader, Sloan, explains that Wesley's panic attacks are actually the untrained expression of a rare superhuman ability; when stressed, the drastically increased heart rate and adrenaline levels result in bursts of superhuman strength, speed, and reflexes – demonstrated when he successfully shoots the wings off of a fly. The Fraternity can teach him to control this ability, so Wesley can follow in his father's footsteps as an assassin, beginning by inheriting his fortune. Wesley is initially reluctant and returns to work, only to finally snap when discovering several million dollars in his bank account. He excoriates his boss in front of the entire office, and on his way out, smashes Barry in the face with a computer keyboard. Fox is waiting outside to take him back to the Fraternity headquarters—an unassuming textile mill.
Foxfire is narrated by Maddie Wirtz, a high school senior living a rather normal life in the suburbs of Portland, Oregon. Maddie is in control of her life, with a boyfriend, and plans to go to art school. One day in science class, the students are watching the teacher Mr. Buttinger try to make Rita Faldes dissect a frog. A mysterious and beautiful leather jacket-clad "new student" stands up to Mr. Buttinger and releases Rita's frog. When Mr. Buttinger sentences them both to detention, the drifter reveals that she's not a new student after all, and escapes through the same window as the frog.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Joey Drayton brings her fianc
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Last of the Dogmen
Modern bounty hunter Lewis Gates is hired to track down three dangerous fugitives who have escaped into the Montana wilderness. When the fugitives are found murdered, Gates has a mystery on his hands. Accompanied by anthropologist Lillian Sloane, Gates ventures further into the mountains and discovers an isolated settlement inhabited by a Native American tribe thought to have been wiped out by white settlers a century earlier. The two gradually begin to gain acceptance within the tribe, but when Gates vengeful ex father-in-law, Sheriff Deegan, leads a posse into the mountains, Gates and Sloane must prevent the tribe from being massacred a second time.
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