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You know that scene in every action movie since 1974 when the guy jumps into the water after being blown off an edge by a massive, flaming ball of death? Yeah, that's The Expendables in a nut. If it isn't on fire, crumbling to pieces, being chased by a thousand guys in face paint and getting torn apart by a rapid-fire shotgun, it probably isn't in The Expendables.
This is the kind of film we used to spit-ball with friends in a kind of 'wouldn't it be cool if...?' scenario – all the biggest action stars coming together for one massive orgy of violence and bloodletting. Really, the concept is so tantalizing that we harboured a flickering flame of hope for this one; Sylvester Stallone called upon his action movie counterparts, roping in some of the biggest, toughest Ess-Oh-Bees out there for a movie that promised all the hallmarks of classic hard-action films we love to pieces (mostly things exploding and quippy one-liners).
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Last night The Latino Review crew that was in New York got to have a rare all-call meet up for the World Premiere of The Ministers, the new Franc. Reyes (Empire, Illegal Tender) movie from Maya Entertainment.
The Ministers is the story of twin brothers Dante and Perfecto Mendoza, both played by John Leguizamo. When they were kids, their tenement building was burned down by some slum lords in an insurance scam, in their teens their older brother Luis gets gunned down and the case gets shoved aside by the police department. Dante and Perfecto have heard the call of God and will bring vengeance upon those that wronged them.
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For a while, Chloe looks like the long-awaited return to form by Canadian filmmaker Atom Egoyan, whose early films (Exotica, The Adjuster, Speaking Parts) were often absorbing character studies cloaked in the guise of a thriller and spiked with sexual tension. Unfortunately, the wait continues. This remake of the French-language hit Nathalie... eventually becomes the sort of risibly naughty picture you'd normally find on late-night Cinemax - complete with a gratuitous girl-on-girl sex scene - only infinitely better acted.
A Little Bit of Heaven
Dickens's A Christmas Carol begins with the immortal line: "Marley was dead, to begin with." A Little Bit of Heaven, an insufferable romantic weepie, might as well have begun: "Marley was alive to begin with", because it starts with the smart, irreverent Marley Corbett (Kate Hudson) winning her New Orleans advertising agency a contract for a shock advertisement for condoms and then suddenly discovering she has colon cancer.
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Why Sony waited eight years to make a sequel to the 2003 hit S.W.A.T. is beyond me. It's not like fans have been crying or creating letter writing campaigns, begging for a follow-up for the past decade. Naturally, though, a DTV sequel isn't a bad move for Sony. The original was a pretty solid rental hit, warranting some kind of sequel. But again, why wait so long?
Perhaps producers were simply waiting for a decent script to come their way. Or perhaps it's because the DTV market is booming right now. The budgets are getting bigger, the production design is getting better, the casts are stronger, and the stories seem to actually be trying new routes or heading in original directions. Not every DTV sequel works, but the market is improving and evolving.
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The Oscar buzz surrounding Peter O'Toole is deafening. Despite having been nominated seven times, he has never won an Academy Award (unless you consider the honorary statue presented to him a few years ago). Roger Michell's Venus, which may be O'Toole's final major screen appearance, could provide him with one last shot. The film, which has generated some minor controversy, centers on the relationship between a 73-year old actor and a 20-year old would-be model. The 50 year gap makes this a March/December romance that would impress even Charlie Chaplin and Tony Randall. This is tricky territory for a film, but Michell navigates it with sensitivity and class. Venus is not crass or exploitative. It deals seriously with the possibility that an old man might fall in love with a young woman, and that (at least on some level) those emotions might be reciprocated. There's a lot more going on here than a dirty old man ogling an attractive young thing.
Romulus, My Father
Distilled to its essence, Romulus, My Father is a standard-order coming-of-age movie. Like most movies of this sort, it's based on someone's memoirs (in this case, those of Raimond Gaita) and includes moment of tragedy, sentimentality, and serenity. All the things one expects of a coming-of-age story can be found in Romulus, My Father. In fact, the movie is so familiar it's impossible to shake the pervasive sense of d?j? vu. It may be that the particulars of this story are new but the overall trajectory is well known to anyone with an understanding of the genre. That's not to say that Romulus, My Father is poorly made. Quite the contrary - this is a workmanlike motion picture with solid performances. It's just that the superior production values are used in service of a mediocre storyline.
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Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
Writer/director Gus Van Sant's early bid for big-time commercial success -- a success he didn't manage to achieve until Good Will Hunting -- is based on Tom Robbins' 1976 feminist bestseller. Uma Thurman plays Sissy Hankshaw, a woman born with very large thumbs. After her parents (Grace Zabriskie and Ken Kesey) take her to a doctor (Buck Henry), who offers her parents no remedy for their daughter's condition, the film races ahead to the 1970s.
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A bomb is detonated in the plaza of the Colombian Consulate building in Los Angeles, killing 9 people including a caravan of Colombian officials and American intelligence agents. Among the civilians killed are the wife and son of LAFD firefighter, Gordon Brewer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who was injured in the explosion as he arrived to pick up his family. Soon afterward, a tape is sent to the U.S. State Department, in which a masked man calling himself "El Lobo" (The Wolf) claims responsibility for the bombing, explaining it was in retaliation for America's oppression of Colombia. The FBI believes El Lobo is a Colombian terrorist named Claudio Perrini (Cliff Curtis). CIA Special Agent Peter Brandt (Elias Koteas), the Colombia Station Chief, is harshly reprimanded for the incident by a Senate Oversight Committee, who promptly terminate all CIA operations in Colombia. Brandt angrily returns to Mompós and meets with his paramilitary allies to plan a major offensive to take down Claudio and his guerilla forces.
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In the Seventeenth Century, while Hungary is fighting the Turks, the population of a small village in the Carpathian Mountains faces the evil Countess Elizabeth Bathory, accused of drinking and bathing in blood of virgin women. Count Thurzo imprisons the Countess in the tower of a monastery and brings her daughter to live with him. In the present days, Keith is writing a book about Countess Elizabeth Bathory and traveling through Hungary with his friends J.J. and Kim researching her life. While trying to find the monastery, he meets the gorgeous and seductive Elizabeth, who guides the trio to the place. Keith and Elizabeth fall in love for each other, and after a car accident, they have a supernatural journey with revelations and fatalities.
Comedy writer Jerry Stahl (Ben Stiller), whose 6000-a-week heroin habit had him taking his infant daughter along on his drug runs and doing smack during TV script conferences. Departing detox, Stahl explores memories with survivor Kitty, who listens patiently to Stahls flashback. Other women in Stahls life are his British wife Sandra (Elizabeth Hurley) and his agent Vola. For the TV series Mr. Chompers (inspired by ALF), Stahl meets with sitcom exec Craig Ziffer and puppeteer Allen. For freaky freebasing, Stahl hangs with mumbler Nicky and druggie Gus.
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Scientist Alex Harris, doing research on artificial intelligence, is working on a special kind of computer. This computer grows more and more powerful and eventually rapes the scientists wife, Susan Harris.
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Jungle 2 Jungle
A New York commodities broker who was married several years ago has been separated from his wife. Now he wants to marry his new girlfriend, so he has to divorce her first. So he goes to Venezuela, and is brought deep into the jungle and told that when they separated she was pregnant and chose not to tell him since he stated he was not really interested in becoming a father. Today, the boy has reached the age where he has to go on a quest, in New York, so his father reluctantly brings him along, and a culture clash follows. The boy has spent all of his life with the tribe he grew up with, and his father has a bit of problem so he cant spent as much as time with his son as his son likes.
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Last of the Dogmen
Modern bounty hunter Lewis Gates is hired to track down three dangerous fugitives who have escaped into the Montana wilderness. When the fugitives are found murdered, Gates has a mystery on his hands. Accompanied by anthropologist Lillian Sloane, Gates ventures further into the mountains and discovers an isolated settlement inhabited by a Native American tribe thought to have been wiped out by white settlers a century earlier. The two gradually begin to gain acceptance within the tribe, but when Gates vengeful ex father-in-law, Sheriff Deegan, leads a posse into the mountains, Gates and Sloane must prevent the tribe from being massacred a second time.
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Man on Fire
In Mexico City, the former CIA assassin and presently an alcoholic decadent man John Creasy is hired by the industrialist Samuel Ramos, with the recommendation of his old friend Rayburn, to be the bodyguard of his young daughter Pita and his wife Lisa. Pita changes the behavior of the cold Creasy, making him live and smile again, and he feels a great affection for her. When the girl is kidnapped Creasy swears to kill each one responsible for the abduction.
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The community reels after an incident on a suburban train. A young cop, beset with doubt and afflicted with tinnitus, is pitched into the chaos that follows this tragic event. He struggles to clear the noises in his head while all around him deal with the after burn of the crime.