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Give 'em Hell, Malone

Give 'em Hell, Malone
Way back all those many days ago at the 2009 San Diego Comic Con, I got a chance to take an early look at Give ‘Em Hell Malone, the noir thriller starring Thomas Jane and Ving Rhames. For all intents and purposes this is a review of the film, though I’m not calling it as such because the film isn’t finished. As we speak probably nothing is happening because Hollywood types generally nap around 3:30pm as I write this, but no doubt during business hours tomorrow people will be talking, wheeling, dealing and trying to weasel more money into or out of the project. What’s missing now is some time in the edit bay, color timing and correction, and a few more music cues. Other than that, the experience is probably pretty close to the final product – unless of course some more money can be put into the film.

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El laberinto del fauno

El laberinto del fauno
I'm still struggling with this film, and I think that the Internet is to blame. There's been a lot of positive commentary about the film, and much of it building it up to be utterly wonderful, however I'm still struggling with how much I enjoyed it and how good it actually is. Even as I write this I am unsure how I truly feel about the film and how much to rate it with, perhaps I'll have decided by the time I've finished writing.

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Dead Space: Aftermath

Dead Space: Aftermath
The year is 2509 and not only has Earth lost contact with the Ishimura and Isaac Clarke, but now also the USG O'Bannon, the first responder ship sent to rescue them. Four crew members of the O'Bannon have survived.

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Greatest Movie Ever Sold

Greatest Movie Ever Sold
It's probably a safe assumption that everyone reading this review is aware of the incestuous relationship that exists between advertising and movies. It's more than a company paying a fee to have a product appear on-screen; there's cross-marketing, mutual co-branding, and other ancillary benefits intended to create a "win-win" situation. Many in the industry feel that, without all its numerous corporate sponsors and the publicity that resulted from their involvement, Iron Man might not have become the mega-hit that it was. Morgan Spurlock's The Greatest Movie Ever Sold pulls back the curtain and reveals Oz. There's nothing surprising in what Spurlock uncovers, but it illustrates that everything we knew - or at least suspected - about the marriage between advertising and cinema is accurate.

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Blood Diamond

Blood Diamond
To an extent, Blood Diamond is a victim of its own length. While the film includes a number of disturbing political and sociological insights, the adventure story is tepid and loses momentum as the storyline bogs down. The main character, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, has an effective arc that is believable because it does not force him to act contrary to his nature, but it takes a long time for Blood Diamond to get us to DiCaprio's moment of recognition. Pacing issues aside, this is a well constructed movie - clearly the product of a director who understands how to make a top-notch motion picture. It looks great and sounds great. If only Edward Zwick's mastery of the medium had extended to pruning the screenplay and editing the final result, Blood Diamond might have been a tremendous film rather than one worthy of only a lukewarm recommendation.

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Ask the Dust

Ask the Dust
For Ask the Dust, director Robert Towne, adapting the novel by John Fante, has returned to the time and place of his greatest cinematic endeavor: Los Angeles in the 1930s. The setting, however, is the only similarity between Ask the Dust and Chinatown (which Towne wrote for director Roman Polanski). Despite a "noir" feel to the proceedings, this picture is a love story. There are other things going on, some of which get short shrift in the screenplay, but at the center of the narrative are a man and a woman who are destined for each other. Take away the graphic nudity (full-frontal shots of both stars) and one could almost consider Ask the Dust to be old-fashioned movie making.

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40-Year-Old Virgin

40-Year-Old Virgin
The 40 Year Old Virgin is proof that motion picture comedies can still be funny. Sadly, the kind of consistent humor delivered by this film happens too rarely. This is the movie Wedding Crashers should have been: rude, raunchy, uproarious, yet with elements that are surprisingly sweet. Unlike Wedding Crashers, which loses its edge (and a lot of its humor) early, The 40 Year Old Virgin keeps it up for nearly two hours. Yes, it's a little long, but there are still plenty of laughs remaining in the final 30 minutes, and the movie reserves one of its best jokes for last. If you're looking for a successor to There's Something About Mary and American Pie, look no further. It has arrived. And, if I may be so bold, this is more enjoyable than either of them.

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Welcome to Mooseport

Welcome to Mooseport
What might have been… Those four words tell the sad story of too many films, and Welcome to Mooseport is one of them. It starts out with a terrific premise, ripe with the potential for the kind of political satire we haven't seen on the big screen since Bulworth: what if a popular ex-president ran against a likable hardware store owner to be the mayor of a small town? But a premise is nothing more than a sturdy building block, and, in this case, the filmmakers have employed the shoddiest construction crew imaginable. Welcome to Mooseport's satirical edge is dull and pitted, the screenplay is overlong and uninteresting, the comedy is soft and shapeless, and the actors perform like they're on a sit com. There's not a whole lot to like about Welcome to Mooseport, and, considering how lively real politics can be these days, you're likely to get more entertainment from watching two hours of CSPAN.

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Swept Away

Swept Away
The word that best describes Guy Ritchie's version of Swept Away is "unfortunate."

The word that best describes Madonna's attempt to play Amber Leighton is "unfortunate."

The word that best describes my decision to see this movie is "unfortunate."

Make no mistake: Swept Away is a bad movie. No amount of perfume sprayed on talk show audiences by Madonna and her husband can eliminate the stench of failure emanating from this motion picture. However, it is not, as has been suggested by a number of critics, one of the worst films of all time. (Hyperbole Alert!!) In fact, it's not even one of the worst films of the year. Swept Away comes out favorably when compared to the likes of Rollerball and Serving Sara. It fares the worst when contrasted with the original Swept Away, the controversial 1974 effort that earned writer/director Lina Wertmuller a Best Director Oscar Nomination.

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Behind Enemy Lines II: Axis of Evil

Behind Enemy Lines II: Axis of Evil
The story is not linked to the first part of the series. Instead, it focuses on a fictional explanation for the Ryanggang explosion in 2004, in which an unexplained mushroom cloud occurred in North Korea.

After reconnaissance satellites detect a large, three-stage Topol intercontinental ballistic missile carrying a nuclear weapon in North Korea, which can strike anywhere in the continental United States, a fictional United States President Adair T. Manning (Peter Coyote) orders a team of U.S. Navy SEALs to destroy the missile and the launch site. The team led by Lieutenant Robert James (Nicholas Gonzalez).

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Americanizing Shelley

Americanizing Shelley
Punjabi-speaking Shalini Singh lives a middle-classed lifestyle in the Himalayan region in India along with her mom, Kirat dad, Jaspal brother, Happy and sister, Littly, and was engaged to Neil Brar as a child. Years later Neil re-locates to the United States of America, and there is no contact between him and the Singh family but Shalini hopes to marry and live with him eventually

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Undiscovered

Undiscovered
An aspiring model falls in love with a struggling musician when they suddenly cross paths on a NY subway train. Having achieved success as a NY model, Brier decides to move to L.A. to launch an acting career. With the support of her acerbic agent and sometimes surrogate mom, Carrie, Brier lands a spot in a highly sought after acting class where she befriends another would-be actress, Clea. While out on the town discovering the music scene, Brier again crosses paths with Luke, a singersongwriter who has been toiling for years without a record deal. Brier and Clea decide to help Luke and unbeknownst to him, they set out to create some L.A. style hype to get him noticed. As Lukes profile rises, so do the demands of his budding new career. When Luke and Brier cant hide that spark that was always there, they both discover that the price of fame may be higher than anyone expected.

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The Dudesons

The Dudesons
Jarppi Daredevil, Jukka Showman, Jarno Mastermind, HP Bonebreaker and Britney, their beloved giant pig, are a group of childhood best friends who over the years have solidified their bonds between each other despite all the broken bones, trips to the hospital and near death experiences. From perilous car and motorcycle jumps to indoor bonfires, The Dudesons always manage to turn the mundane realities of everyday life into laughter and occasional pain - where else could you see a human dartboard or a baseball bat wake up call to the balls? The Dudesons Movie is a story of friendship combined with madness.

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Escape from Alcatraz

Escape from Alcatraz
A group of inmates attempt a daring escape from the notorious Alcatraz prison island, from which no-one had managed to escape before. Based on a true story.

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Lust Connection

Lust Connection
When buxom Susan gets killed, the only suspect is husband Rick. He soon admits cheating on her with various women from Internet fantasy chat rooms. It all started when buxom Sasha wanted to strip for him via web-cam. Alas, bra-less Sasha then found his address expecting the same service, while Ricks wife was shopping. The second woman was The Stranger, who wanted sex in a gym and later threatened in vain to expose Rick if they break up. The third woman was park worker Beth who wanted sex in the wild. The fourth woman had sex with Rick in a hotels bridal sweet, letting her friend, no less than Susans identical twin, Jenny, secretly peep from the closet. The fifth woman Cora was slightly less buxom than Sasha, but actually wanted Ricks wife home in another room. The sixth woman Desiree wanted him in a blindfold. The seventh and last woman Molly pretended delivering Rick pizza. Susans identical twin, Jenny, eventually reveals she became Desiree to trick Rick into sex. Rick wants to turn her in, but she pulls her gun out. Luckily, the detective forgot his pen.

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Nikita

Nikita
Convicted felon Nikita, instead of going to jail, is given a new identity and trained, stylishly, as a top secret spyassassin.

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