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How Do You Know
How Do You Know is cute, harmless, and utterly forgettable. For a while it was being buzzed about as a potential Oscar contender, but that was based solely on the fact it's a James L Brooks (Broadcast News, Terms of Endearment, As Good As It Gets) film starring Reese Witherspoon. Once people actually had a chance to see it, the buzz was cut off - and rightfully so. How Do You Know isn't that big epic love story we've been waiting for all year. Instead, it's simply a nice diversion and nothing more.
How Do You Know has a charming cast and an Oscar winning filmmaker at the helm. It had potential, but suffers from having characters who are...and here's the kiss of death...just blah. How Do You Know also disappoints because its blah characters act and talk like they're in a romantic comedy. There's barely a genuine moment in the film, and what does feel real has nothing to do with the three attractive leads but instead comes from supporting player Kathryn Hahn and her relationship with her boyfriend.
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The Open Road
The Open Road writer-director Mike Meredith must have pictures of Jeff Bridges, Justin Timberlake, Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen, Harry Dean Stanton, and Lyle Lovett committing horrible crimes against small children or adorable woodland creatures. How else to explain their participation in a sleepy little nothing of a comedy-drama about an estranged father and son learning that it’s all about the journey, not the destination, man, during a perversely uneventful road trip? A more likely explanation is that the rest of the cast was eager to work with the great Jeff Bridges, a dependable veteran who brings his trademark laid-back charisma to the role of a legendary retired ballplayer and half-assed father who tries mightily to bond with a petulant son immune to his cornball charm.
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Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole
Who would have thought Zack Snyder would create a child-friendly movie? I mean seriously, the transition is quite baffling. Sin City, The Watchmen, 300, and then Legend of the Guardians? We’re talking about owls here! Nevertheless, Snyder proved there is little to worry about. After all, his fervent penchant for Computer Generated Images and slow motion action can give the non-believers some “you got served” effect. He managed to pull off an enchanted world we’d expect to come from a Disney production line, but with his signatures written all over it. Legend of the Guardians: Owls of Ga’Hoole is certainly one of the good watch-worth movies of Snyder, but not the best. Why? Because amidst the stunning visuals and graphics (if the movie was a woman, she’d be gorgeous) lies a stale fantasy book theme.
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Goth horror “Sweatshop” is about as straightforward as they come, revolving around a gang of hard-partying freaks who fall foul of a brute with a huge hammer in an abandoned warehouse. The film was originally shot back in 2009, apparently over a series of weekends, and was directed by Stacy Davidson (“Domain of the Damned)”, who has a background in visual effects, and so unsurprisingly its main selling point is the gore scenes. The film lands shortly on region 2 DVD through High Fliers.
There really isn’t anything else to add about the plot, as “Sweatshop” really is as simple as it sounds, without even bothering to waste time on any kind of back story or on fleshing out its characters. This in itself wouldn’t be a bad thing, as the film clearly isn’t the kind that anyone is going to watch for its cerebral side, though unfortunately it doesn’t translate into a nonstop cavalcade of carnage. The film certainly takes a while to get going, with the first half hour basically just following the goths hanging around, bickering and having unlikely sex. Matters aren’t helped by some bad acting from pretty much all the cast, and a lame script that seems determined to make the viewer hate the characters, none of whom are even remotely sympathetic or even interesting.
John Tucker Must Die
The gulf is vast between what the studio wants us to think John Tucker Must Die is and what it really is. The marketers and publicists would have us believe this is a dark, edgy teen comedy about a band of two-timed girls taking revenge on the school's biggest hunk. Unfortunately, Betty Thomas' film is neither dark nor edgy (although it occasionally tries masquerading in those categories), nor is it particularly funny. (Anything close to amusing can be found in the two-minute trailer.) Predictable and familiar, it feels during its best moments like the neutered offspring of Mean Girls and Can't Buy Me Love. But any goodwill the film builds up during its first 80 minutes evaporates in the last ten, when it resorts to moralizing and universal redemption. I know this is supposed to be a fantasy, but when I was in high school, my dreams never came complete with sermons.
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Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is about 70% style and 30% substance. It has a plot and characters, but those are almost beside the point. They are devices that function as hooks upon which first-time director Kerry Conran can hang his amazing visuals. Generally speaking, I'm not a big fan of style-over-substance movies, but this one is so gorgeous that it's possible to become literally lost in the richness of the images. In many ways, that's not a bad thing, because the story isn't exactly airtight.
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A sample of questions that floated through this reviewer's mind while watching RV... Is the name "Big Rolling Turd" supposed to apply to the RV or the movie? Where's Chevy Chase when you need him? And, considering all the movies not being shown to critics this year, why did the studio choose this one to subject us to?
Have you ever been at a party where a guy starts telling a long-winded, unremarkable story? He thinks it's so hilarious that he guffaws his way through it. The problem is, he's the only one who thinks it's funny. One or two moments might be worth a chuckle, but the thing as a whole is a bore. You want nothing more than to find a reason to get away from this guy and look for someone - anyone - else to mingle with. RV is that story, and Barry Sonnenfeld is the storyteller.
Super Size Me
Amidst all the controversy this film has generated, it's safe to say one thing: very few viewers are likely to visit a fast-food restaurant immediately after seeing this movie.
Is Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me an attack on McDonald's? Not directly, although it's certainly not a Valentine. Rather, it's a look at the deleterious effects that the modern "fast food culture" is having upon our society. The movie's "hook" is that Spurlock performs an experiment upon himself to see how he would fare if he ate nothing but McDonald's food for 30 days. However, one could see that as tangential to the film's central themes, which advocate personal responsibility, decry corporate deniability, and emphasize that people aren't getting the message that fast food can be bad for those who eat it with regularity.
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Kiki's Delivery Service
Veteran animator Hayao Miyazaki directs this buoyant children's adventure yarn about a young witch striking out on her own. At her mother's behest, 13-year-old Kiki sets out on a year-long apprenticeship with her black cat in tow. With a shaky command of her broom, she ends up in a charming little coastal town that looks like a cross between the French provincial and San Francisco.
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BloodRayne II: Deliverance
Newton Piles (Chris Coppola), a reporter on assignment for the Chicago Chronicle, has come to the town of Deliverance, Montana, to record tales of the Wild West. The peaceful and quiet town is expecting the arrival of the first Transcontinental Railroad in one week. Along with the railroad however, arrives an unwelcome and deadly guest, a vampiric Billy the Kid. Using the railway, the 357-year old Transylvanian vampire is building an army of cowboy vampires to take over the country and create a vampire kingdom in the New World. Billy and his horde go on a rampage, slaughtering townspeople and rounding up children. Billy spares Newton’s life and promises Newton the greatest story ever told.
Billy's plans hit a snag when Rayne arrives in the town. Rayne is a Dhampir, the product of an unnatural union between a vampire and a human: she wields all the powers of a vampire, yet none of the weaknesses. Born over a century earlier in Romania, Rayne has hunted vampires for a long time and now she sets her sights on Billy.
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Alan and Wendy Barnet, a quiet, upper-middle-class yuppie couple, are stuck in rut romantically. After some soul-searching, they decide to spice up their sex life by placing an ad in a swingers magazine. From among the many replies they receive, they arrange a date with Jack and Louise Bauer, a young couple who seem similar to the Barnets. After a very enoyable evening of spouse-swapping, the Barnets feel theyve broken out of their rut and are ready to return to a life of monogamy. The Bauers, unfortunately, arent quite so ready to let go.
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The film centres around three female supermodels who live and work together. They belong to the international world of fashion and modelling and are top of their game artistes. Off the ramp, however, they are sexy, yet alone, in a male dominated society. When a regular fashion show goes horribly wrong, they are sucked into the nasty but irresistible underworld of Bombay. The girls have unwittingly botched up a diamond delivery to the Middle East. Their task is now cut out for them Plan A - get into the fashion extortion business Plan B - stage Indias biggest bank robbery to get the diamonds back Plan C - decamp with the loot. The girls plan to take on the Dons instead of buckling under their threats. They do this by planning Indias biggest bank heist and then de-camping with the loot. The Dons have their own hierarchal manipulations - Chotte Mia (Jackie Shroff), Medium Mia (Gulshan Grover) and Bade Miya (Amitabh Bachchan)...
When his wife is killed in a seemingly random incident Harry (Turturro), prompted by mysterious visions, journeys to discover the true circumstances surrounding her murder.
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New age travelers kidnap the prized dog of a Bristol Antiques dealer, with dire consequences.
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The films best character is the Cowboy, a sociopath who spends the majority of his time hitting on women in bars by telling horrible stories about slaughterhouses that somehow actually work. Cowboy is pretty hilarious, despite his, uh, amorous exploits with the mentally disabled, which he uses as another pickup line. And it works. Watching him pick up chicks is so awkward, especially since the viewer knows itll end terribly for the women...
My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done
The first collaboration between legendary filmmakers David Lynch and Werner Herzog, My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done is loosely based on the mysterious true crime story of a young stage actor who, obsessed with a Greek tragedy hes rehearsing, slays his own mother with a sword. Academy Award-Nominees Michael Shannon, Chlo Sevigny, and Willem Dafoe headline this psychological thriller written and directed by Herzog, produced by Lynch, and featuring Grace Zabriskie, Udo Kier, and Brad Dourif.
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