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Drifter: Henry Lee Lucas
Since Henry was all about confessions, I thought I’d start my review with one: I am a pretty voracious true crime nut and I’ve always been drawn to films about the “superstar” serial killers, such as Dahmer, Bundy and, you guessed it, Henry Lee Lucas. Like good ol’ Ed Gein, Lucas has inspired a tale or two about his supposed rampage across the country. I say supposed because Lucas confessed to a few hundred some odd murders and then rescinded most of them.
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Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Since its earliest days of development, the value of most computer animation was judged by how accurately it represented or substituted for reality: are skin tones believable, are textures authentic, is motion natural or smooth? But at least as far as animated movies are concerned, many (including lots of audience members) have forgotten that many of the medium's best examples were ones where abstraction and exaggeration were a big part (if not the biggest) of their artistry; notwithstanding feature-length classics like Snow White or Dumbo, filmmakers like Chuck Jones and Tex Avery entertained audiences by expanding their imaginations with punch lines, characters and even worlds that were anything but realistic.
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You’d think that a horror film that takes a good hour before anything actually happens would have something truly great up its sleeve to surprise us at the moment we think there's no hope of recovery. Well, even though Outpost does kick it up a notch as far as eventfulness is concerned in the last half hour, it’s just not anywhere near good enough to justify us sitting through its long, event-less first section.
The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning
Welcome to the world of Charles Bukowski - poet, author, skid row denizen, alcoholic, and hero to millions (most of them in Europe). Factotum is director Bent Hamer’s attempt to bring a version of Bukowski’s novel to the screen. This isn’t the first time the controversial figure’s work has formed the basis of a film. Most memorably, Bukowski scripted 1987’s Barfly, which featured Mickey Roarke in the role of Henry Chinaski, Bukowski’s fictional alter-ego. 18 years later, Matt Dillon steps into that role for Factotum.
Cursed is a good title for this film, which has been beset by problems from the outset. The version finally reaching theaters in February of 2005 likely bears little resemblance to what producer/writer Kevin Williamson and director Wes Craven initially envisioned. Both have distanced themselves from the project, which was radically re-edited (with a pair of dull scissors, it seems) to de-gore the R-rated cut into something suitable for PG-13 audiences. And, for a variety of reasons, Cursed has sat on the shelves of Dimension Films, gathering dust until it could be unceremoniously dumped into theaters when no one is looking.
An Australian entry into the "found footage" genre of horror movies like The Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity and [REC], The Tunnel has mostly gotten press so far for its distribution model - with producers raising money by encouraging people to buy a frame of the movie for $1 and releasing it for free on torrent sites, in addition to having a physical DVD release - rather than it's actual content. Make no mistake though, although the way it's been marketed and distributed is clever, the movie itself has some tricks up its sleeve too, even if it is a bit derivative of the films mentioned above.
The story goes like this: In order to combat the city's water shortage problem, government officials planned to use the vast collection of abandoned railway tunnels below Sydney to build a water recycling facility, even though this would disrupt the population of homeless who supposedly live down there. Suddenly, the project is dropped and there are rumors of homeless people disappearing in the tunnels, even though the government continues to deny that there even are homeless people down there. Investigative journalist Natasha Warner (Bel Delia) decides to go into the tunnels herself to find out what's really going on, but when she's unable to get a permit, she sneaks in along with fellow journalist Peter (Andy Rodoreda), cameraman Steve (Steve Davis) and soundman 'Tangles' (Luke Arnold). They soon discover that there IS something down there, but it may or may not be human. What's worse, it's dark in those old tunnels, and they're running out of light...
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Welcome to Mooseport
What might have been… Those four words tell the sad story of too many films, and Welcome to Mooseport is one of them. It starts out with a terrific premise, ripe with the potential for the kind of political satire we haven't seen on the big screen since Bulworth: what if a popular ex-president ran against a likable hardware store owner to be the mayor of a small town? But a premise is nothing more than a sturdy building block, and, in this case, the filmmakers have employed the shoddiest construction crew imaginable. Welcome to Mooseport's satirical edge is dull and pitted, the screenplay is overlong and uninteresting, the comedy is soft and shapeless, and the actors perform like they're on a sit com. There's not a whole lot to like about Welcome to Mooseport, and, considering how lively real politics can be these days, you're likely to get more entertainment from watching two hours of CSPAN.
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Pat Baker is a small town sheriff. His son, Kurt, is a deranged young man with a dark secret. Sheriff Bakers worst nightmare comes true when Kurt escapes from a psychiatric hospital where he was locked away for the brutal murder of his mother thirteen years earlier. Gary, a hospital security guard, sets out into the woods to stop him, but soon finds himself relentlessly hunted by the deranged psychopath intent on killing him and anyone who crosses his path. Sheriff Baker launches an intense search to find his son, only to discover that his daughter, Sara, and her friends are camping in the same woods where Kurt has escaped. Kurts psychosis escalates, as does his vengeful killing spree, culminating in a terrifying, climactic confrontation with Kurt, the sheriff and his family.
The 7 Adventures of Sinbad
Sinbad, the original Prince of Persia, must complete seven tasks in order to save the world from catastrophe.
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In 1954 Baltimore, Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker (Johnny Depp) is the leader of a gang of "Drapes", which includes his teenage mom sister Pepper (Ricki Lake), facially disfigured Mona "Hatchet Face" Malnorowski (Kim McGuire), wild and free-spirited Wanda Woodward (Traci Lords), and Milton Hackett (Darren E. Burrows), the nervous son of overzealous religious parents. His ability to shed a single tear drives all the girls wild. One day after school, he is approached by Allison Vernon-Williams (Amy Locane), a pretty girl tired of being a "Square", and the two fall in love. That same day, Cry-Baby approaches the "Square" part of town to a talent show ("Sh-Boom", "A Teenage Prayer") at the recreation center where Allison's grandmother (Polly Bergen) hosts events, and introduces himself to her, who is skeptical of his motives. Cry-Baby invites Allison to a party at Turkey Point, a local hangout spot for the Drapes.
Bikini Girls on Ice
When a bus-load of womens college soccer players get stranded on their way to a bikini car-wash fundraiser, they decide to set-up shop in front of an abandoned gas station on the edge of town. Little do they know the place is the stalking-grounds for a homicidal maniac mechanic named Moe.
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Dressed to Kill
While taking a shower, Kate Miller, a middle-aged, sexually frustrated New York housewife, has a rape fantasy while her husband stands at the sink shaving. Later that day, after complaining to her psychiatrist Dr. Robert Elliott about her husbands pathetic performance in bed, she meets a strange man at a museum and returns to his apartment where they continue an adulterous encounter that began in the taxicab. Before she leaves his apartment, she finds papers which certify that the man has a venereal disease. Panicked, Kate rushes into the elevator, but has to return to his apartment when she realizes shes forgotten her wedding ring. When the elevator doors open, shes brutally slashed to death by a tall blonde woman wearing dark glasses. Liz Blake, a high-priced call girl, is the only witness to the murder and she becomes the prime suspect and the murderesss next target. Liz is rescued from being killed by Kates son Peter, who enlists the help of Liz to catch his mothers killer as Detective Marino whos in charge of the case is uncooperative in the investigation.
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Justice Be Damned
A U.S. Marshal tries to bring to court a man wanted for the murder of two women in the 1860s. They are confronted by the ghosts of the women the man has killed and the marshal tries to get his prisoner out of the town for trial.
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After con artist Eddie Sullivan (Feuerstein) incurs a large debt with a local criminal ringleader, he creates a get-rich-quick scheme and enlists a sweet gentle giant named Walter (Wight) as his unwitting accomplice. Walters orphanage -- the only home hes ever known -- also needs funds desperately. Upon overhearing Walters predicament, Eddie convinces the no-nonsense head nun, Sister Francesca (Malick), that Walter can win the money as a fighter and pay off the churchs debts. Eddies plan travel from town to town with Walter and enter small, unsanctioned fighting competitions for prize money Sister Francesca dispatches Mary (Hardin) as a chaperone for both Walter and the money and gives Eddie a week - and a prayer - to make it happen. During their journey across the south to the annual Pro-Am MMA tournament in New Orleans, Walter discovers what life is like outside the orphanage, while...
Leprechaun in the Hood
Hes been in the country side, hes been downtown, hes been to Las Vegas, hes even been in space, now that evil Leprechaun is in DA HOOD! Three young rap artists are looking for a break. They need money to buy some music equipment so they can go to Las Vegas and enter a contest. They meet up with a local pimp named Mack Daddy who agrees to hook them up, but later declines. The rappers want to get even with him so one night they break into Macks place and steal alot of his jewelry, gold, and even the medallion off an ugly looking statue. Shouldnt have done that! Because without the medallion, the state transforms into the Leprechaun, who goes on a killing spree once again looking for his missing gold, once again! And the song says it all, theres nothin scarier than a Lep in the hood!
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