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You know that scene in every action movie since 1974 when the guy jumps into the water after being blown off an edge by a massive, flaming ball of death? Yeah, that's The Expendables in a nut. If it isn't on fire, crumbling to pieces, being chased by a thousand guys in face paint and getting torn apart by a rapid-fire shotgun, it probably isn't in The Expendables.
This is the kind of film we used to spit-ball with friends in a kind of 'wouldn't it be cool if...?' scenario – all the biggest action stars coming together for one massive orgy of violence and bloodletting. Really, the concept is so tantalizing that we harboured a flickering flame of hope for this one; Sylvester Stallone called upon his action movie counterparts, roping in some of the biggest, toughest Ess-Oh-Bees out there for a movie that promised all the hallmarks of classic hard-action films we love to pieces (mostly things exploding and quippy one-liners).
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The Poughkeepsie tapes
Shot in a strict documentary style, The Poughkeepsie Tapes recounts the story of the Water Street Butcher, a serial killer who terrorized Poughkeepsie, NY for over ten years starting in the early 90s. Eventually the butcher made a minor slip-up and several battalions of SWAT came calling, but he was already long gone when they arrived. Instead, what they found in his abandoned house was an enormous, meticulously cataloged library of VHS tapes in which he had documented his entire career in murdering. The Poughkeepsie Tapes winds its way through the killer's story by giving us interviews with cops, FBI agents and the friends and family members of the victims, and also includes extended clips from the actual video library, so we can see exactly what happened to the victims, not just leave it to imagination. Needless to say, this is all bullcrap. The Poughkeepsie Tapes is the new Blair Witch, a carefully constructed piece of faux realism -- the longer it goes on, the more obvious it becomes, but I'm happy to say that doesn't detract from the fun.
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Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball
So says Joe Carnahan, director of the first film. I agree with him, the original Smokin’ Aces is an enjoyable romp that while not life changing in any sense of the word, deserves to be fully appreciated. Its cast of zany, off-the-wall characters and double crossings made for a fun piece of escapism. The story, for any of you that don’t know or don’t remember, consisted of a Las Vegas performer named Buddy Israel who decides to testify against the mob. This sets in motion a chain of events that has a $1million bounty on Buddy’s head and sparks the interest of every low life assassin, femme fatale and mobster in the vicinity.
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Death of a President
It has been one of the hottest tickets everywhere in North America where it has been shown. Now, placed in a limited number of U.S. theaters despite the near-solidarity of a chain multiplex ban, the movie is opening less than two weeks before Election Day. That timing, one could argue, is a bigger political point that anything in the content. I'm referring to the pseudo-documentary Death of a President, which has received an inordinate amount of media coverage and has been tagged with the label "controversial." For this movie, as for Snakes on a Plane, the hype dwarfs the reality. Death of a President is celluloid mediocrity. It's neither interesting nor convincing.
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Team America: World Police
The North American anti-terrorist force Team America attacks a group of terrorist in Paris. Later, the leader of the organization, Spottswoode, invites the famous Broadway actor Gary Johnston to join his world police and work undercover in Cairo in a terrorist organization and disclose their plan of destroying the world. The Team America destroy the cell of terrorists, but then the Panama Canal is attacked by the criminals as a payback. Gary feels responsible for the death of many innocents and leaves the counter-terrorism organization. When the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong II, joins a group of pacifist actors and actresses with the intention of using weapons of massive destruction, the Team America tries to avoid the destruction of the world. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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Enough begins in a San Francisco restaurant, where the main character, Slim works there with her best friend, Ginny. Slim receives unwelcome romantic advances from a customer, but is rescued by a man named Mitch Hiller. They later marry and have a daughter named Gracie. A few years later, Slim finds out that Mitch is unfaithful and was cheating on her with another woman named Darcelle. When she confronts him and threatens to leave, he becomes violent and abusive, slapping and punching her in the face. When Slim approaches her mother about the incident, she asks Slim what she had done to make Mitch angry.
Tooth (Yasmin Paige) is a fairy from the mysterious Fairytopia land, and she is bored of her hard everyday duties in this family-friendly adventure movie. Tooths job is to collect the teeth and to leave coins, and she suddenly leaves a big sum of money in the house of the two youngsters Tolly (Maisie Preston) and Tom (Rory Copus). Their dad and mom know nothing about the fortune and, meanwhile, Tooth finds out Fairytopia lacks Christmas money funds due to her loss. Persecuted by the evil money-craving Plug (Phyllida Law), they can save the holidays on their way to Fairyland only together.
The Hard Easy
In Los Angeles, the gambler Paul Weston is a loser, and owes a lot of money to the dangerous mobster Freddie. When he is brutally beaten and the life of his former wife is threatened by the Freddie, his acquaintance bartender Vinnie sends him to Dr. Charlie Brooks first and then he convinces him to participate of a heist in the jewelry district with the professional thief Gene to raise the necessary money to pay his debt. Meanwhile, the stock market broker Roger Hargitay finds that the company where he works embezzled US 5,000,000.00 from their clients and he will be arrested in a couple of days. His boss Ed Koster convinces Roger and two co-workers to participate in an easy robbery of a jewelry planned by an inside man. On Saturday morning, both gangs arrive in the same jewelry for the same heist at the same time.
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Orgies and the Meaning of Life
ORGIES AND THE MEANING OF LIFE is an eccentric and exciting film illuminating the inner and outer life of Baxter Goode, a man trying to find an ending to his book (about a sex obsessed stick figure searching for a portal to the three dimensional world) even as his father, a best selling Christian author, tries to stop him. His life is further complicated by his search for the one, a woman he is sure will liberate him from his long addiction to orgy fantasies. Both of these pursuits are somehow connected to God, who may or may not be a stick figure, and Baxters lesbian roommate, who may or may not be imaginary. Employing live action, animation, and experimental story techniques to explore existential, professional, and sexual crisis, ORGIES AND THE MEANING OF LIFE promises to be one of the more unique movie going experiences you will ever have.
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Dr. Anna Fugazzi is a young, attractive psychologist with a loving and devoted (albeit freakish) boyfriend, plenty of stimulating friends, and a bright future ahead of her. But beneath her perfect life and calm exterior lies a deadly secret that she herself cannot imagine, much less confront!!! There is a delicate balance between reality and illusion, between conscious and the subconscious, and for Dr. Fugazzi, the truth lies somewhere in between the beauty of her present life and the horror of the not-too-distant past!!! Shocked by hallucinations and deadly images, tantalized by familiar, eerie voices, provoked by her deranged and knowing patients, and daily nightmares that awaken her in a strange, white room, Dr. Fugazzi takes an inhuman journey into her very psyche!!!!
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Kevin & Perry Go Large
Best friends Kevin and Perry decide they need to lose their virginity and become "top DJs", and plan to go to Ibiza to do so. They receive a reward for accidentally foiling a bank raid, and with Kevin's parents agreeing on the condition that they accompany them, they go to Ibiza.
Once in Ibiza, they meet the world famous DJ Eyeball Paul (whose nickname derives from his practice of vodka eyeballing), who takes every opportunity to patronise and insult them - of which they seem to be blissfully ignorant, describing him repeatedly as "such a nice bloke" and "a rinsing geezer". Kevin and Perry persuade Eyeball Paul to play a song they have created at his next performance, but only after they carry out several chores for him, including cleaning his kitchen floor and unblocking his toilet by hand.
Throughout their stay in Ibiza, Kevin and Perry set their sights on "the girls of their dreams", Candice and Gemma, whom Kevin and Perry try and chat up with put-on posh accents. The teenagers experience several bizarre mishaps which set back their pursuit of Candice and Gemma, including being vomited on from a height and crashing mopeds, and their friendship is strained when Perry films Kevin's parents while they are having sex.
The film ends with Kevin and Perry losing their virginity to Candice and Gemma respectively. When back at home, the boys are seen signing copies of their record in a music store, whilst Kevin's parents are seen signing copies of a video they have made about better mid-marriage sex.
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The Escape Artist
The young and self-confident Danny blufs at the local police-station that he will escape out of prison within one hour. What follows is a flashback about his childhood with his uncle and aunt, which are vaudeville-artists themselves. We also follow the problems of Danny with the corrupt son of the mayor.
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A big city cop from LA moves to a small town police force and immediately finds himself investigating a murder. Using theories rejected by his colleagues, the cop, John Berlin, meets a young blind woman named Helena, who he is attracted to. Meanwhile, a serial killer is on the loose and only John knows it.
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Growing up in the Mission district of San Francisco, Che Rivera (Benjamin Bratt) has always had to be tough to survive. Hes a powerful man respected throughout the Mission barrio for his masculinity and his strength, as well as for his hobby building beautiful lowrider cars. A reformed inmate and recovering alcoholic, Che has worked hard to redeem his life and do right by his pride and joy his only son, Jes, whom he has raised on his own after the death of his wife. Ches path to redemption is tested, however, when he discovers Jes is gay. To survive his neighborhood, Che has always lived with his fists. To survive as a complete man, hell have to embrace a side of himself hes never shown.
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A mutant strain of giant ferocious piranha escape from the Amazon and eat their way toward Florida.
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Set in Paris in 1919, biopic centers on the life of late Italian artist Amedeo Modigliani, focusing on his last days as well as his rivalry with Pablo Picasso. Modigliani, a Jew, has fallen in love with Jeanne, a young and beautiful Catholic girl. The couple has an illegitimate child, and Jeannes bigoted parents send the baby to a faraway convent to be raised by nuns. Modigliani is distraught and needs money to rescue and raise his child. The answer arrives in the shape of Paris annual art competition. Prize money and a guaranteed career await the winner. Neither Modigliani, nor his dearest friend and rival Picasso have ever entered the competition, believing that it is beneath true artists like themselves. But push comes to shove with the welfare of his child on the line, and Modigliani signs up for the competition in a drunken and drug-induced tirade. Picasso follows suit and all of Paris is aflutter with excitement at who will win. With the balance of his relationship with Jeanne on the line, Modigliani tackles this work with the hopes of creating a masterpiece, and knows that all the artists of Paris are doing the same.