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I have been waiting a while now to watch a good prison movie and one day I get a message from my friend saying, “Have you seen Celda 211? It’s an awesome movie.” I tell him “no” and then immediately IMDB it only to find out that it is an award winning Spanish movie set within the confines of a prison. Intriguing, I know. Anyway, I then read further and find out that the film is about a new prison guard who gets left in the prison after a riot breaks out and has to pretend to be a new prisoner in order to survive. This was a fresh take on the prison genre and so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch it. The movie, as my friend says, was rather “awesome.” So if you like good movies, and especially good prison movies, then check out my review after the jump so that you can realize it is really worth your time.
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Hmmm, where to begin? Part of how this film markets itself is that it is “From one of the executive producers of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. I’m not sure what I was supposed to expect with that type of branding, but no expectations going into this film is probably a good thing. As far as original idea is concerned, I thought the vampire world accessible only by drugs was pretty cool. The film did a good job in creating a fantasy world aesthetically different from the normal world. The problem I had was that vampire world revolved solely around fornication. It goes nowhere from there. Is that to say the only way for a person to be completely satisfied is to be high and sexually mauled by vampires? It just wasn’t a compelling enough storyline to keep my attention.
Blonde and Blonder
Positing itself (in title at least) as something of a cross between Dumb & Dumber and Legally Blonde (two massively successful films starring A-list stars), Blonde and Blonder hits the shelves boasting little more than short skirts and cleavage as selling points. Add to that an abundance of overused puns and a cliched cast of daffy characters, throw it in a blender, and you've just written the script yourself.
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Red White & Blue
In Austin Texas, the lives of three young people Erica, Franki and Nate intertwine in a fateful, tragic way and head down a rocky and violent road to heart-rending oblivion. Erica (Amanda Fuller) lives rent-free in the local co-op, but spends her nights trawling the bars and beds of Austin. Damaged, emotionally withdrawn, never really connecting with anyone, and sleeping with multiple men is just what she does until she meets the older and mysterious Nate (Noah Taylor), working in a hardware store, but with an honorable discharge from Iraq.
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The cinema of Bernardo Bertolucci has provided the meat of many a heated film debate since his emergence in the 1970’s. Those with a soft spot for European cinema have always maintained that his work, even at it’s most grandiloquent, deserves to be included in the pantheon of post-war classics. Those with sympathies more firmly lodged on the west coast of America have used the dreaded P word (amongst others) to describe the Italian’s output. Wherever your loyalties lie it’s impossible to ignore the buzz his films still command. He is one of only a handful of international directors whose name on the poster is the key selling point for the film, regardless of who’s starring in it, or what it’s about.
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John Tucker Must Die
The gulf is vast between what the studio wants us to think John Tucker Must Die is and what it really is. The marketers and publicists would have us believe this is a dark, edgy teen comedy about a band of two-timed girls taking revenge on the school's biggest hunk. Unfortunately, Betty Thomas' film is neither dark nor edgy (although it occasionally tries masquerading in those categories), nor is it particularly funny. (Anything close to amusing can be found in the two-minute trailer.) Predictable and familiar, it feels during its best moments like the neutered offspring of Mean Girls and Can't Buy Me Love. But any goodwill the film builds up during its first 80 minutes evaporates in the last ten, when it resorts to moralizing and universal redemption. I know this is supposed to be a fantasy, but when I was in high school, my dreams never came complete with sermons.
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Dr. Dolittle 2
About the most positive comment I can offer about Dr. Dolittle 2 is that it's not as painful to endure as its 1998 predecessor, Dr. Dolittle. Unlike the earlier Eddie Murphy effort about the M.D. who can talk with animals, the second installment makes no pretense of being family-oriented entertainment - this is kids-only fare (hence, the PG-rating). Potentially audience members over the age of 12 won't find much to laugh at or be amused by in this by-the-numbers comedy that uses sledgehammer tactics to convey its politically correct message. Of course, to balance out the film's social conscience, there has to be one gross-out scene - in this case, it involves a bear with flatulence.
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Dr. Dolittle 3
Maya Dolittle, the Doctor's youngest daughter, has inherited her father's gift for talking to animals, but so far it's brought her nothing but trouble. So, Maya heads to Durango summer camp to get in touch with her abilities.
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The film revolves around Tory Bodeen (Forlani), who is blessed - or maybe cursed - with the ability to see the past and present. The film starts with Tory returning to the small town where she grew up, the town where her best friend Hope was killed. Tory's father, an abusive religious fanatic, remains the prime suspect in the unsolved murder.
As the anniversary of Hope's death approaches, Tory resolves to face her demons, with the help of her childhood friends -- Tory's cousin Wade (Willett), Hope's twin sister Faith (Davis), and her older brother Cade (Hudson), who realizes his childhood crush on Tory hasn't ended. Will her friends be enough to save Tory?
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A honeymooning couple become entangled in a plot to recover plates for counterfeiting US dollars. SHE thinks shes just retired from a government dirty jobs department, but her superiors have other ideas. HE thinks shes a retired travel agent. Set in Spain, theres a constant flow of visual jokes, mainly at the expense of a group of incompetent thieves who are in hot pursuit of the plates. Many of the jokes are predictable, but theres enough to keep almost everyone amused.
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Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
It is a dark time for the resistance and Skynet is on the verge of going online, the events of the last movie has changed nothing and John must now battle a new Terminator called the T-X. As before, the resistance was able to send another T-800 as a protector for John, and its still a question of which one will reach him first...
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Beneath the Dark aka Wake
Driving to a wedding in Los Angeles through the Mojave Desert, Paul and Adrienne pull off the highway and into Roys Motel and Cafe. This roadside artifact proves to be a strange and surreal place with an unsettling mix of travelers, who force our couple to discover the secret hidden between them and ultimately, the horrifying reality of their current situation.
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A college freshman who trains in martial arts is beaten up at work by a racist gang. His co-worker, a Chinese cook, beats the gang up and trains the young man in kung fu. When a tournament is to be held, the teacher tells the student that he will not teach him for money. However, when the gang beats up the students best friend, the student now must make the choice of entering the tournament or keeping the promise to his teacher.
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A single church-going mother desperately tries to save her two daughters from walking down the same dark path she was once on and a young woman fights against addiction to a mysterious party drug.
In Our Name
Suzys a British soldier, born and bred, but fitting back into civilian life after fighting in Iraq isnt easy. Haunted by the responsibility she feels for the death of an Iraqi child, she becomes obsessed with the safety of her own daughter, feeling the need to protect her against a threat that doesnt seem to exist. As Suzys paranoia builds, her behaviour becomes more and more erratic, until finally, she puts her own child in serious danger.
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They were kid detectives. Now theyre eighteen and still solving child crimes. But when the Mystery Team is challenged to solve a murder, they see an opportunity to prove theyre real detectives and to save the world of sex, crime and swear words. From Derrick Comedy, the Internet sensation whose short films have been viewed over 100 million times, comes this strangely hilarious, completely unique film thats been called Encyclopedia Brown meets NAPOLEON DYNAMITE meets ACE VENTURA.
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