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Probably the only thing that people are wondering about the Wayans’ Dance Flick is whether it’s closer to Don’t Be a Menace or White Chicks. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure everyone already knows the answer. For whatever reason, the Wayans’ brand of comedy has fallen off from the Ivory tower it was perched on in the mid-90s. Maybe time has passed them by while failing to innovate, maybe they stepped too far back from the cutting edge, maybe having every member of their family contribute creatively waters down the humor. Who knows. What’s for sure is that Dance Flick falls flat.
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The Karate Kid
The fact of the matter is it's been 26 years since the first Karate Kid, and given how many other movies have relied on the exact same formula, a full-fledged remake is pretty fair game. By moving things to China and casting 11-year-old Jaden Smith (as opposed to the 25-year-old Ralph Macchio of the original), Sony successfully put a fresh coat of paint on the rickety old story, and despite a gargantuan running time and paper-thin characters, it's kind of nice to see yet another kid learn the crane pose.
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Over Her Dead Body
I'm sure it sounded like a good idea in the pitch meeting. What executive in his/her right mind wouldn't laugh at the idea of a dead woman haunting her still living fiance's new girlfriend? It sounds like it would write itself. I can see the people in the room getting all atwitter about making it happen.
"Yes! This is a concept that was made to print money. Wait, it gets better, Eva Longoria has a break in her schedule and people seem to like her. Let's get her to star as the ghost, people will love it!"
I am pretty sure that's how it went down, followed by a quick scramble to get the script written and in front of cameras in time to get it to the screen before Valentine's day. Well, they succeeded with the time table, the film is here. Now, whether or not it is worth taking the time to watch is something that you will need to decide for yourself. For my money, it's a little late now to change my mind.
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Get Smart becomes the latest in a long line of TV series to get a big-screen treatment. While we have come to expect recycled refuse from most of these (Bewitched perhaps occupying the nadir), Get Smart manages to rise above the continuum of regurgitation by walking a tightrope that allows it to appeal to those who have fond memories of the late-1960s spy spoof and those who don't know Don Adams from John Adams. Get Smart is delightfully silly and at times very funny. The characters are likeable and feel connected to their TV counterparts. And, although Mel Brooks and Buck Henry (creators of the original) are not directly involved, the filmmakers have crafted something that both men would likely agree is in the spirit of what they shepherded to the small screen.
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Untraceable engenders a reaction that is one part fascination, one part disappointment, and two parts frustration. The film, which has the ingredients for a thoughtful, tense thriller throws away a compelling first half so it can descend into silliness and clichés. For a movie that works overtime to establish credibility during its first half-hour, Untraceable leaves no predictable, formulaic stone unturned in its rush to a jaw-droppingly stupid conclusion. It's almost as if the filmmakers who made the first two acts were replaced by Uwe Boll collaborators for the final 40 minutes. Then again, it's possible to believe this of director Gregory Hoblit, who achieved something not dissimilar with his previous feature, Fracture.
Running Scared feels like Tony Scott on barbiturates. From tone to approach, it's like a Scott-helmed movie, but the tendency to show off is limited, the camera movements are less frantic, and the editing occasionally allows shots to last for more than a second. The result is a picture that retains coherence to go along with its pile-driver intensity. With a complex plot that unspools with surprising clarity, Running Scared displays a reckless intensity. In retrospect, a lot of what the film offers falls apart, but the filmmakers do their best to use adrenaline to keep us from thinking too much during the experience.
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At one point in history, indigenous populations around the globe were evolving slowly and happily, whether in North America, South America, Africa, or Australia. Then, spearheaded by a wave of intrepid explorers, came the Europeans, spreading out across the world like a plague of locusts. Whether a case of social Darwinism or unchecked Imperialist aggression, it didn't take long before the White Man had conquered those lands where they had any interest in establishing a settlement. While the backgrounds of those going to Australia and America were vastly different, the results were similar: native populations diminished and oppressed, then reduced to second-class citizens in the re-shaped lands that were once theirs.
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Gettysburg, Ronald F. Maxwell's re-telling of four hot days during the summer of 1863 (based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara), is a spectacle that gathers power and momentum with every scene. Originally slated as a TNT mini-series, Gettysburg received the go-ahead for a theatrical run when Ted Turner realized the quality of the material he had on his hands. Those who are not daunted by the running time (two-hundred thirty-four minutes, easily the longest general release motion picture in a long while) and decide to see the film on the big-screen will find their choice well rewarded.
The story follows Jerry Welbach (Brad Pitt) as he travels through Mexico to find an antique gun, The Mexican, and smuggle it into the United States. Five years earlier, Welbach had caused a traffic accident in which he hit the car of local mobster Arnold Margolese (Gene Hackman), who was jailed for five years after the police searched his car following the crash, finding someone tied up in his trunk. In compensation for the jail time,
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Barney: I Can Do It
Are you ready for big-kid fun? Join BJ, Claire and Jade as Barney teaches them that even if you’re not big enough to do all the things your friends are doing, there are new friends to meet and new games to play right now. Discover that big-sized fun is waiting for you every morning, and every day you grow is loaded with Tee-riffic adventures!
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Originally trade-previewed as Those Crazy Calloways, Disney's Those Calloways is a lengthy, anecdotal film about a highly individualistic New England family. Patriarch Cam Calloway (Brian Keith) is regarded as a crank by the local villagers because of his dream to build a bird sanctuary that will protect migratory geese from hunters. Cam uses all his savings to buy a lake, where he intends to establish his sanctuary. When a wealthy sportsman offers to turn the town into a booming resort community in exchange for hunting rights, Cam opposes the plan, which briefly puts him on the outs with everyone else.
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Return to House on Haunted Hill
DTV sequels – we all love ‘em right? Well yes and no. Some are great (“Wrong Turn 2”), some are average (“House of the Dead 2″), and some are unbearably shit (pretty much all of them). Still, I watch them, and it seems so do many other people, as the market is growing and is also evidently profitable. Just look at the “Boogeyman” franchise of horror movies, or the “American Pie” sequels – surely they wouldn’t keep on getting made if nobody bought them? So due to this burgeoning market, inevitably a sequel to “House on Haunted Hill” was greenlit. But was it one of the good batch?
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Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury
In this unearthed lost movie from 1990 that the studio deemed too terrible to release, a Vietnam Veteran Sal Bando(Sorbo), tortured by his past as a Poolboy returns home to Van Nuys, California, and a country he doesnt recognize, in which it seems only Mexicans run pool-cleaning companies. Bando sets off on a brutal mission to reclaim his rightful vocation and enact revenge on the man(Trejo) who killed his wife and son.
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When his wife is killed in a seemingly random incident Harry (Turturro), prompted by mysterious visions, journeys to discover the true circumstances surrounding her murder.
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Three more stories told from a comic book are presented by the Creep. The first is about a dime-store Native American that seeks vengeance on those who killed the stores owners. The second is about a carnivorous mass of pond scum that attacks four people on a raft. The final tale is about a rich woman who accidentally kills a hitchhiker while speeding home from an affair with a male prostitute.
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Glenn, the Flying Robot
Synopsis Henry and Jack are two famous and talented pianists they are rivals and try to outdo each other in the various music events where they regularly compete. They have known each other since their days at the music academy and developed a very strong friendship. They met Lana there and Jack had an affair with her then. This friendship deteriorated along the years and Lana left Jack for Henry. Jacks resentment towards Henry will increase even further when he realizes that although his talent as a pianist is as great a talent as Henrys, he always ended up second... behind Henry. Simultaneously, Lana slowly realized that the only thing Henry cares about is his job. When she gets pregnant, he tells her he doesnt want the child and she leaves him, taking refuge with Jack who thus finds a way to get back at Henry. From that point, the former friends will clash with no mercy, from contest to contest until the day a domestic robot...
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