Bitch Slap

Bitch Slap
Bitch Slap is neither the worst film ever made, nor the best. Obviously, that can be said about most films, but as you walk away from Bitch Slap, the most likely and accurate review might resemble, "Well, that didn't completely suck." Clearly, it's referencing classic, B-grade women's exploitation films, chock-a-block with sexy vixens kicking ass and shedding clothes in glorious slow-motion. The problem, however, is that it's as badly crafted as it is occasionally clever, a poor man's Sin City, with no real sense of how to walk the tightrope between well-executed irony and stupid, cornball homage. That said, for all the men in the audience, there's plenty of cleavage, blood and action-packed lesbian make-out sessions; for all the women, well, there's probably something to be said about female empowerment and all-around bad-assery.

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Wanted

Wanted
The money shot in “Wanted,” its pièce-de-special-effects-résistance and reason for green-lighted being, appears in the opening minutes of this noisy, ultraviolent shoot-’em-up with Angelina Jolie, her many tattoos and some guys. A man has soared onto the roof of a high-rise where he has laid a handful of others to waste. Suddenly the camera cuts to his face as a bullet exits his forehead in slow motion, his skin stretching forward as the projectile tears through it, going straight for the camera and our already numbed skulls.

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Ultraviolet

Ultraviolet
Kudos to Sony for not holding advance screenings of Ultraviolet. This is the kind of crap you want to keep away from critics. Masochist that I am, I went to see this on my own dime, and regret every cent spent to gain admission to the theater. This is another one of those pointless action superhero movies that unfolds like a video game in which the viewer is unable to participate. On more than one occasion, I have written that there's nothing more frustrating than watching someone else play a video game. Now I have found an exception to the rule - watching someone cheat while playing a video game. Because that's what the makers of Ultraviolet do: cheat.

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Sin Nombre

Sin Nombre
The dream is reaching America. The nightmare is undertaking the journey to get there. But you know your current circumstances aren't too promising when New Jersey is represented as a paradise. Writer/director Cary Fukunaga's film is about illegal immigration only on the surface, and almost none of its running time transpires within the boundaries of the United States. Instead, it's about the factors that cause some individuals to risk incarceration, deportation, and even death for a chance to cross the border and escape cycles of poverty, disempowerment, and gang violence.

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Clueless

Clueless
As appealing as Alicia Silverstone is (and she possesses that ethereal "star quality" which is sadly lacking in many of today's up-and-coming performers), her presence can't quite elevate this breezy comedy to the level of a modern classic. A contemporary reworking of Jane Austen's Emma that is part pop satire and part teen comedy, Clueless shows its unevenness early, overcomes some flaws through vivacity and likability, then runs out of steam during the second half. Better than, but still similar in tone to The Brady Bunch Movie, this film contains its share of delightful scenes, but it's debatable whether there are enough to justify a feature-length running time. Charm this thin starts to wear off before the running length has expired.

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On Deadly Ground

On Deadly Ground
Steven Seagal, the exceedingly bankable action-movie star and exceedingly limited actor, wanted to direct. He wanted to express his profound conviction that the environment and the spiritually advanced tribes of Alaska are good, and pollution and the spiritually bankrupt oil companies of the lower 48 are bad. Warner Bros., the studio that has made a zillion dollars off Seagal in such spirituality-lite head-busters as Above the Law, Hard to Kill, and, most recently and successfully, Under Siege, wanted its star to be happy.

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Loving Annabelle

Loving Annabelle
17-year-old Annabelle Tillman, the daughter of a senator, is sent to a Catholic boarding school after being expelled from two of her previous schools. Simone Bradley, a poetry teacher at the school, is in charge of her dormitory. Annabelle shares the dormitory with amiable classmate Christen, the bully Katherine and Colins, the nervous wreck.

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Crooked Business

Crooked Business
Sharp witted and street smart, small time hustler Elmo and his mate, Stand Up Stevie, are just trying to earn an easy buck. Life is great until Stevie gets in way over his neck selling a dodgy watch to the wrong people.

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The Return of the Native

The Return of the Native
The novel takes place entirely in the environs of Egdon Heath, and, with the exception of the epilogue, Aftercourses, covers exactly a year and a day. The narrative begins on the evening of Guy Fawkes Night as Diggory Venn drives slowly across the heath, carrying a hidden passenger in the back of his van. When darkness falls, the country folk light bonfires on the surrounding hills, emphasizing—not for the last time—the pagan spirit of the heath and its denizens.

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Kevin & Perry Go Large

Kevin & Perry Go Large
Best friends Kevin and Perry decide they need to lose their virginity and become "top DJs", and plan to go to Ibiza to do so. They receive a reward for accidentally foiling a bank raid, and with Kevin's parents agreeing on the condition that they accompany them, they go to Ibiza.

Once in Ibiza, they meet the world famous DJ Eyeball Paul (whose nickname derives from his practice of vodka eyeballing),[1] who takes every opportunity to patronise and insult them - of which they seem to be blissfully ignorant, describing him repeatedly as "such a nice bloke" and "a rinsing geezer". Kevin and Perry persuade Eyeball Paul to play a song they have created at his next performance, but only after they carry out several chores for him, including cleaning his kitchen floor and unblocking his toilet by hand.

Throughout their stay in Ibiza, Kevin and Perry set their sights on "the girls of their dreams", Candice and Gemma, whom Kevin and Perry try and chat up with put-on posh accents. The teenagers experience several bizarre mishaps which set back their pursuit of Candice and Gemma, including being vomited on from a height and crashing mopeds, and their friendship is strained when Perry films Kevin's parents while they are having sex.

The film ends with Kevin and Perry losing their virginity to Candice and Gemma respectively. When back at home, the boys are seen signing copies of their record in a music store, whilst Kevin's parents are seen signing copies of a video they have made about better mid-marriage sex.

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Loose Cannons

Loose Cannons
Mac, the two fisted savy cop finds that hes being saddled with a new partner, a known burn out, to work with him on a new and difficult case. The new partner is, Ellis, an amazing detective, one who puts Sherlock Holmes to shame with his lightning fast deductions. Ellis has a couple of problems. He keeps assuming the personalities of entire casts of Television shows. This can be a problem when people begin shooting at them.

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Dangerous Days: Making Blade Runner

Dangerous Days: Making Blade Runner
The definitive three-and-a-half hour documentary about the troubled creation and enduring legacy of the science fiction classic Blade Runner, culled from 80 interviews and hours of never-before-seen outtakes and lost footage.

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Kickboxer 2: The Road Back

Kickboxer 2: The Road Back
This movie is suppose to be a sequel to the movie which starred Jean-Claude Van Damme. Only now the movie revolves around the brother of the character that Van Damme played. David Sloan is the brother Van Dammes Kurt Sloan. He runs a Karate gym. Now Mr. Sangha, the Thai government official who handles Tong Po, the brutal kickboxer whom Van Damme in the previous movie, wishes that Tong Po would have another shot at Kurt Sloan, so he could vindicate himself but Tong Po in a fit of rage shot and killed him thus depriving him of an opportunity to face him again. But when they hear of David, they decide that he will be the one whom Tong Po will face to regain his honor. But when David is injured, Xian Davids teacher is brought over to help him with his recovery. And when he recovers, they set David up to fight Tong Po who will survive?

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Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen
Seven years after the apparent death of Chen Zhen, who was shot after discovering who was responsible for his teachers death (Huo Yuanjia) in Japanese-occupied Shanghai. A mysterious stranger arrives from overseas and befriends a local mafia boss. That man is a disguised Chen Zhen, who intends to infiltrate the mob when they form an alliance with the Japanese. Disguising himself as a caped fighter by night, Chen intends to take out everyone involved as well as get his hands on an assassination list prepared by the Japanese.

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Look @ Me

Look @ Me
Tina Tremaine works for a banking investment company and runs a fantasy website featuring herself. As her modeling career is about to take off, shes kidnapped by one of her Web subscribers. He locks her away in his house in a windowless room wired with sound and video. While her friends and the police start a search, he visits his psychotherapist. Is there any way she can aid in her own escape or will she have to depend on others?

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Much Ado About Nothing

Much Ado About Nothing
Young lovers Hero and Claudio are to be married in one week. To pass the time, they conspire with Don Pedro to set a lovers trap for Benedick, an arrogant confirmed bachelor, and Beatrice, his favorite sparring partner. Meanwhile, the evil Don Jon conspires to break up the wedding by accusing Hero of infidelity. In the end, though, it all turns out to be much ado about nothing.

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