Jackass 3D

Jackass 3D
Before seeing Jackass 3D, I only knew the franchise by reputation. I never watched the show or saw the first two movies. I was familiar with the premise: guys torture themselves for our amusement. The intellectual in me (tiny as he may be) always scoffed at the subject. “What a sad commentary on the state of entertainment in post-modern American (cue snobbish laugh)”. But then I remember that I watch Tosh.0 every week and seeing the self-inflected misfortunes of others makes me giggle. With that in mind, I went to see Jackass 3D and got exactly what I expected. While the 3D is only used effectively for about a quarter of the film’s sketches (particularly the first and last sketch), most of the gags are clever and some of the gags will make you gag. But there is no mistaking Jackass 3D, even if this is the first time you’ve stared into their abyss of pain.

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August Rush

August Rush
August Rush is one of those rare movies that made me dislike it, then won be back over before the end credits roll. It’s not common to see a movie accomplish that roller-coaster ride that turns me away from the picture and then picks me back up, but somehow the story manages it and left me a giddy, sappy mess by the end.

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Night Train

Night Train
Indie movies rarely have the scope and span of a film like Night Train, and after watching this film you’ll know why. While the story of the film is fresh, and something like a Hitchcock flick or an Agatha Christie novel, the execution couldn’t be further from those two vaunted sources of mystery and suspense. It’s not for a lack of trying, but a lack of funds.

In the film, a mysterious stranger boards a train in the middle of nowhere… even though most train dudes that I know would break your jaw before they’d let you on their train without a ticket. Despite this troublesome item, the train dude lets the man on the train… where he proceeds to overdose on pills and booze. The train dude, along with an alcoholic salesman and a sexy nerd slut, discover a package that the man was carrying and hatch a plot to keep it to themselves. This plot involves hacking up the dude’s corpse, throwing it off the train, and getting rich as balls. Of course, things don’t go their way, and a slough of interested parties show up; from a couple of Chinese thugs to cops to an old lady with an annoying dog, everyone wants to get their hands on this priceless treasure. It sounds pretty straightforward, but there are some nice twists within the meat of the story to keep the viewer interested and out of “been there, done that” land.

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The A-Team

The A-Team
The original 80’s A-Team TV show is one of those shows from my childhood that I look back on fondly, but whenever I sit down to watch an episode these days, I get really bored, really quick. But as boring as some of the plots were, the best part about the show was the great characters; Hannibal, Face, B.A. and Murdock who managed to make every show at least bearable. Joe Carnahan seemed to know this while making his theatrical adaptation of the show because he pulled the best elements of the TV show and left the 80’s cheese right where it belongs; in the 80’s. But rest assured that this is the fun, high-energy summer blockbuster we’ve been waiting for.

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Last Mistress

Last Mistress
Director Catherine Breillat is known for her racy and sometimes sexually explicit movies, many of which deal with themes of female empowerment. She has built a reputation in France as a woman for whom no subject is taboo. Her films have depicted full nudity, hardcore experiences (intercourse, fellatio, etc.), and other activities avoided by non-porn filmmakers. Breillat delights in shocking audiences, but perhaps the biggest surprise in store for viewers of The Last Mistress is how relatively tame it is. A costume drama free of many of the director's trademark excesses, this is a study of how sexual obsession can overpower true love. Perhaps it's the lack of sex or perhaps it's the incessant, banal chattering of the characters, but this movie is more likely to inspire sleep than interest. Breillat has done something I never expected from her: made a boring film.

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Hitch
Hitch is a pleasant, if slightly overlong, romantic comedy from two men who have forged reputations in the genre. Director Andy Tennant is no stranger to love stories, having previously helmed Fools Rush In, Ever After, and Sweet Home Alabama. And, although Will Smith has had some success as an action hero and a dramatic leading man, he is at his most appealing in this kind of movie, when he makes us laugh and gets the girl.

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Cop Out

Cop Out
Cop Out is Kevin Smith's first foray into mainstream action/comedy entertainment and the first time he has directed a film he did not write. This is evident - although there are a few ribald moments to be found sprinkled throughout, the movie's humor is muted and rarely attempts to offend the sensibilities of the more strait-laced audience members. Smith's career is largely founded on his reputation as a ground-breaker (his debut, Clerks, initially earned an NC-17 for profanity, although that was reversed on appeal) but with Cop Out, the cement beneath his feet doesn't suffer even a hairline fracture. The black/white wisecracker/straight man mismatched buddy cop thing has been done so often that it would demand a monumental effort to make it fresh, and Smith isn't up to that kind of heavy lifting. As it turns out, Cop Out is a pale imitation (which Smith would no doubt call an "homage") of 48 Hours. 15 minutes into this movie, I wanted to leave the theater, go home, and watch the Nick Nolte/Eddie Murphy picture instead. It would have represented time better spent.

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Requiem for a Dream

Requiem for a Dream
Every year, there seems to be one film that kicks you in the stomach and leaves your head reeling. In 1999, it was Tim Roth's profoundly disturbing, unforgettable The War Zone. This year, it's Darren Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream, one of the most forceful anti-drug narratives ever to be committed to celluloid. To call this movie a cautionary tale would be to apply a label that is too tame -- Requiem for a Dream presents the darkest take imaginable on a story of hopes and dreams shattered by drug addiction. There's no preaching or sermonizing here, just an almost-clinical depiction of lives laid to waste. This is not a film for the weak of mind or soul. Even in the midst of the whirlwind of a film festival, when I was seeing four films a day and the tendency was for everything to blur into a continuum, this one stuck out, demanding attention and rumination. It is a force to be reckoned with.

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Shadow Man

Shadow Man
I always find reviewing short films difficult because there isn't that much to talk about- but occasionally one comes along that's so superb that you can find just enough to say to fully justify your feelings towards it.

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The Quest

The Quest
The Quest is Jean Claude Van Damme's directorial debut, and, judging by its somnolent pace and inability to generate any energy, it may also be his last venture behind the camera. While no one could reasonably expect this to be a "good" film in the traditional sense of the term, it comes as a surprise that The Quest is actually boring -- even the fight scenes lack panache.

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Eat Your Heart Out aka Skinned Alive

Eat Your Heart Out aka Skinned Alive
In the heart of New York City, men are dying in very violent ways. They are being torn up and ripped apart...and eaten. The only connection is that they all die after hiring a prostitute. And searching for love in this city is Jeffrey...Jeffrey is a sad and lonely man. He hates his job, he hates his life and all he wants is a woman to shower with love and affection. Socially awkward and fearing rejection, Jeffrey finds his companionship with hookers. In a bizarre twist of fate, Jeffrey hires this hooker and almost instantly they fall madly in love. Now he has to find out just how much he is willing to accept in the name of true love...She is feeding on the men of New York City...and there is a lunatic that is hunting her down...and caught in the middle is Jeffrey, who only wanted to love and be loved.

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Sinbad: Where U Been?

Sinbad: Where U Been?
Sinbad returns to the stage in this brand-new one-hour comedy special and answers the question his legions of fans have been asking him, Where Ya Bin?

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Too Much

Too Much
When Suzie and her parents take a visit to Japan her fathers business partner, an inventor called Tetsuro decides to make Suzie a robot. The robots name is Too Much (or TM for short) and he and Suzie become the best of friends. But when the day comes for Suzie to return home she finds shes not allowed to take TM with her, so they run away together. However, they must watch out for a rival inventor of Tetsuros is looking for them so that he can examine TMs programming. Will TM and Suzie manage to escape from his clutches and prove that love conquers all?

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Breathing Lessons

Breathing Lessons
A married couple review their lives and renew their love for one another while driving to a friends funeral.

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Killers

Killers
A vacationing woman meets her ideal man, leading to a swift marriage. Back at home, however, their idyllic life is upset when they discover their neighbors could be assassins who have been contracted to kill the couple.

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Lightning Strikes

Lightning Strikes
When a deadly creature rides an electric bolt to Earth,its lights out for a small town.

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