Dragonball: Evolution

Dragonball: Evolution
In this modern, Web-ridden era of ours, advanced reviews and an endless succession of trailers and marketing ploys have mastered the art of making a bad movie look good or a good movie look better, eliminating that too-rare experience of discovering that a film you initially thought would be crap was actually quite the opposite. So count me surprised at the degree to which I enjoyed Dragonball: Evolution

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Little Hercules in 3-D

Little Hercules in 3-D
Friends, Epicians, lend me your ears!!! It's your friendly neighborhood reporter Epic-1 and I'm back!!! This time I come to you with Little Hercules featuring the entire Hogan family - before the messy divorce. We have Terry "Hulk" Hogan as Zeus the father of little Hercules (Richard Sandrak). So Little Herc sneaks away to earth while his father is arguing with Marduk (Paul "Big Show" Wight) about which is better: Mt. Olympus or Babylon? During his adventures he becomes friends with Curtis (Marc John Jefferies) a young kid whose mother, Dana (Robin Givens) is trying to find Mr. Right. Curtis and Hercules get into trouble with the bully in the movie XX (Nick Hogan) who tries and make's Hercules life a living hell. Hercules then goes to school with Curtis where we find out that the place is closing.

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Bride Wars

Bride Wars
Do Hollywood studio executives think that women have a gene for tulle? Neural receptors just for Vera Wang? I wondered this as I was watching “Bride Wars,” a dopey if largely painless romantic comedy with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway as best friends forever who turn into best enemies forever because of a wedding day glitch. Since childhood, the two have dreamed of getting married at the Plaza (alas, not to each other), a reverie that turns into a manufactured nightmare when their respective nuptials are scheduled for the same day in June.

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Mamma Mia!

Mamma Mia!
Even those of us who habitually favor serious, austere, aesthetically correct drinks — single-malt Scotch, green tea, pomegranate juice, whatever — may occasionally indulge in a frivolous cocktail bedecked with fruit and umbrellas and served in a bulbous, sugar-rimmed glass. The next morning’s headache seems a small price to pay for the rush of cheap liquor and uninhibited conviviality. As long as you don’t operate heavy machinery or wake up in the wrong bed, or operate heavy machinery in the wrong bed, what’s the harm?

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Arthur

Arthur

It's still an open question whether in this day of increased concerns about alcoholism and health you can do a remake of 1981's Arthur, a comedy about a lovable drunk, because the new Arthur, with Russell Brand playing the Dudley Moore role, is a mere burlesque riffing off the old Arthur rather than an actual remake that has reconceived or rethought the original film.

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Armless

Armless
"Armless" suggests director Habib Azar would gladly give a limb to make a shockingly funny and ultimately poignant indie, but this isn't it. Featuring "Old Joy" co-star Daniel London as a despairing suburbanite who struggles to tell his wife that he longs to have "nubbins" in place of arms, Azar's modestly budgeted debut feature has only limited mobility as a drama and even less as a comedy. Sales prospects look grim for a film whose one joke is both belabored and in bad taste, drawing as it does from a real-life condition known as Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID).

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Mirrors

Mirrors
When it comes to horror films, there's one basic principal to consider: consistency means everything. A movie can deviate as much as the filmmakers like from the laws of the real world as long as they establish and adhere to an alternate set of rules. Movies like Mirrors fail utterly in part because the rules are arbitrary, unclear, and seem to change depending on what the director wants to achieve in any given scene. As a result, the narrative rarely makes sense, seems contrived beyond a level for which the "willing suspension of disbelief" can apply, and is impossible to buy into. Such inconsistency makes Mirrors appear illogical and dumb, and director Alexandre Aja's inability to delineate credible or interesting characters results in 110 wasted minutes for anyone unfortunate to wander into an auditorium where this is playing.

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Year One

Year One
Two weeks ago, I wrote that, while watching Land of the Lost, I felt a sense of depression. That feeling revisited me during Year One, an inexplicably unfunny comedy made by two people who have proven they can do much better: director/co-writer Harold Ramis and co-producer Judd Apatow. Filled to the point of overflowing with gross-out humor, Year One might get some belly laughs from six and seven year olds, who can't resist giggling at the image of someone farting or peeing on himself, but I found the most extreme material to be so tasteless that it voided all comedy. And, when one gets beyond the scatological elements, the rest of the jokes are obligatory, rarely generating more than cursory chuckles.

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Citizen Ruth

Citizen Ruth
The average movie about the abortion debate tends to be preachy, melodramatic, and unbearably solemn. So, it comes as something of a shock that the latest venture to the front line of the pro-life/pro-choice battle is actually a comedy. Director/co-writer Alexander Payne has taken the slogans, name-calling, and behind-the-scenes tactics, and created a vicious satire that skewers (and probably offends) those on both sides of the issue. There's a serious message here, as well -- that in a war between ideologies, it's too easy to lose sight of the individual.

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Meet Joe Black

Meet Joe Black
Meet Joe Black has the dubious distinction of being the longest film to date of 1998. It is also one of the most tedious and bombastic. At a hair under three hours, it's shorter than James Cameron's Titanic, yet, when it comes to pace, Joe Black is glacial. Director Martin Brest, who helmed the enjoyable-but-also-too-long Scent of a Woman, is at his absolute worst here. Brest transforms a seemingly foolproof idea into an overblown bore.

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Jackie Brown

Jackie Brown
It has been three long years since Quentin Tarantino stunned the cinema world by claiming the Cannes Film Festival's Palme D'Or, a $100 million-plus box office gross, and an Oscar nomination – all for his sophomore outing, Pulp Fiction. Since then, the talented film maker has been virtually invisible, surfacing briefly as a co-director of the wildly uneven Four Rooms and the screenwriter of the gory vampire-fest, From Dusk Till Dawn. In between, he has moonlighted as an "actor" with several decidedly unmemorable performances. Now, with much fanfare and anticipation, Tarantino has returned with his third directorial effort, Jackie Brown. And, while this motion picture, adapted from Elmore Leonard's novel, Rum Punch, offers solid entertainment, those expecting another bravura outing from Tarantino will leave theaters disappointed. For the most part, Jackie Brown is a pretty ordinary crime movie.

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Joe vs. the Volcano

Joe vs. the Volcano
John Patrick Shanley made a name for himself by scripting Moonstruck, the award- winning 1987 romantic comedy starring Cher and Nicolas Cage. Joe Versus the Volcano, a provocatively-titled, modern day fable, is his fourth script and first opportunity in the director's chair. It's a curious blend of satire, comedy, melodrama, and romance, that, if nothing else, is memorable for its uniqueness. Most of the time, it's easy to compare a new movie to something already available, but not in this case. No one is going to accuse Joe of being derivative, and, with so many movies fitting into easily-defined niches, that's a refreshing characteristic.

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Plainsong

Plainsong
Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation based on the novel by Kent Haruf. Tom Guthrie (Aidan Quinn), a high school history teacher...

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Thursday

Thursday
Casey Wells (Thomas Jane) has cleaned up his life. He is now a married architect and is looking to adopt a child with his wife when Nick (Aaron Eckhart), an old partner from his days as a drug dealer in Los Angeles, shows up on his doorstep. Nick leaves a couple of suitcases in Casey's guest room before leaving to run some errands. After Nick leaves, Casey becomes suspicious of one of the suitcases and eventually opens it to find it filled with heroin. After calling Nick to yell at

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Mistress Frankenstein

Mistress Frankenstein
Helena Frankenstein has been basically ignored by her husband, the Baron, whos been too busy with his monster (and I mean the creature hes brought back from the dead). But Helena isnt taking this lying downwell, ok she isshes been cheating with the stable boy who has been tending to the Barons horse. But the Baron needs glue for his project and has the horse killed which messes up the plans of Helena and her lover. In an effort to distract Helena, the stable boy tries to pretend to be the horse and carry Helena around, but this act of tomfoolery only results in Helenas death. Now the love the Baron has for his wife will come to the surface and he decides to bring his wife back to life, at any costeven if that means using the brains of a lesbian nymphomaniac. With a new brain, it is Helena that will ignore her husband as she tries to mate with every woman she encounters. Soon the entire town will erupt because Helena will give new meaning to the phrase Wham, Bam, thank you Maam leaving jilted women sexed-out and dying.

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Murder in the Heartland

Murder in the Heartland
A wanna-be tough guy and his 14-year-old girlfriend go on a murder spree.

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