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High-gloss thrillers rarely elicit gales of unintentional laughter. Orphan is so bats*** crazy that it wears you down just enough to accept the lunacy and enjoy the movie for what it is: every parent's worst nightmare, writ large in childish crayon. For more than one reason, adoption advocacy groups can stop worrying. Although it starts off calm and determined, Orphan eventually descends into that weird territory where it might be OK to talk back to the screen.
Drizzle, rain, floods. England losing the Test series. Big Brother and pretty much everything on television. Really, it's been a dismal summer. Cinema's not been much help: even a great film such as The Bourne Ultimatum is hardly a barrel of laughs. Thank goodness, then, for Knocked Up.
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Eventually, it had to happen: a computer-animated dud. It's surprising it has taken this long, and we have been spoiled by the high quality of the product, with such winning titles as Toy Story, Shrek, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and others. But, with the death of traditional animation and the proliferation of titles in this arena, a slip in quality was inevitable. Thus far, 2005 has seen two of these movies: Robots and Madagascar. And, although Robots was mediocre entertainment, Madagascar slips a notch below that.
Men in Black II
Men in Black II would be a thoroughly entertaining affair if it wasn't for one thing: the plot. The annoying and pointless storyline is a constant irritant because it diverts our attention from the real reason to see this movie - the easygoing chemistry between actors Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. These two slide so smoothly into their odd couple, buddy roles that an enjoyable motion picture could be made by having them sit next to each other and trade quips. Unfortunately, Men in Black II decides to surround these characters with a narrative that is so limp and idiotic that it can't even stand up when judged by the standards of comedies, let alone those of science fiction adventures.
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Bill (Michael Douglas) is having a bad morning. He's stuck in his car in a traffic jam, his air conditioner isn't putting out any cold air, his windows won't work, and there's a fly buzzing around his head. Taken as a whole, all of this is enough to make him snap. Just like that, he gets out of his car, leaving it behind in the middle of the road, and sets off for home on foot. His cross-town trek quickly turns violent when he feels his rights as a consumer and citizen are violated, and a number of potentially-lethal weapons fall into his hands. Meanwhile, police officer Martin Prendergast (Robert Duvall) is going through a life-crisis of his own. How he deals with it puts him on a collision course with Bill.
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The first of John Ford's "Cavalry Trilogy", Fort Apache stars John Wayne as captain Kirby York and Henry Fonda as Custer clone Lt. Col. Owen Thursday. Resentful of his loss in rank and transfer to the West after serving gallantly in the Civil War, the vainglorious Thursday insists upon imposing rigid authority on rough-and-tumble Fort Apache. He is particularly anxious to do battle with the local Indians, despite York's admonitions that the trouble around the fort is being fomented not by the so-called savages but by corrupt white Indian agents.
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At the BNS headquarters, BNS Special Agent Alex Scott (Owen Wilson) is accosted by his rival, Carlos (Gary Cole), before being debriefed on his next mission. Scott is assigned to recover a stolen fighter plane sold to arms dealer Arnold Gundars (Malcolm McDowell). The plane is known as the "Switchblade" and is invisible to both radar and the naked eye. The BNS learns that Gundars is sponsoring Middleweight world boxing champion Kelly Robinson (Eddie Murphy)'s next match, and is using the event to auction off the plane. The agency has contacted Robinson and assigned him to be the civilian cover for Scott's mission. Scott and Robinson travel to Budapest, where Scott plans to penetrate Gundars' compound during a pre-fight party taking place that night. The duo clashes from the beginning, with Robinson treating Scott as a new member of his entourage. Robinson is initially wary of Scott's penetration plan, but is convinced after Scott frightens Robinson while maneuvering the plane and gives Robinson a pair of contacts that allow Robinson to see whatever Scott sees.
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Japan Sinks (Nihon chinbotsu)
In the aftermath of a major earthquake under Suraga Bay, Misaki (a young girl) and Toshiro (a pilot of a deep sea submarine) are rescued from a ruined city street just as leaking gasoline ignites. Reiko Abe arrives just in time, lowered from a helicopter. Scientists predict that Japan will sink within 40 years, due to subduction of a tectonic plate to the west.
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Maid in Manhattan
Marisa Ventura (Jennifer Lopez) is a single mother trying to get by with her young son Ty (Tyler Posey) by working as a maid for a classy hotel set in the heart of Manhattan. When not in school Ty spends time among Marisa’s fellow hotel workers who think she is capable of being promoted to management.
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My Boss's Daughter
Tom Stansfield (Ashton Kutcher) is a researcher at a publishing company who works under the tyrannical Jack Taylor (Terence Stamp). Tom has a crush on his boss' daughter, Lisa Taylor (Tara Reid), who is completely controlled by her overprotective father.
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The plot centers around the Marchetta sisters, Tanzie (Hilary Duff) and Ava (Haylie Duff), a pair of rich, spoiled Hollywood socialites who enjoy material things such as shopping and dating, rather than caring about their late father's cosmetics company. When a major media scandal involving one of the company's products turns into an investigation, the girls find their assets frozen and must adjust to life without their fortune. Just when it seems like things couldn't get any worse, disaster strikes again.
When a fire starts in their home, Ava quickly takes all her clothes while Tanzie, caring about her father more, takes her dad's TiVo and some clothes. They are tempted to listen to their advisors and sell the company to their biggest competitor, Fabiella (Anjelica Huston), for just - "only" as they say - over $60 million each. While this means that they could return to the lifestyle that they were accustomed to, nonetheless they decide to honor their father's memory by trying to turn it around themselves. Finding inspiration in Erin Brockovich, the girls decide to get to the root of the scandal. The girls use their good looks and charming personalities to win the case and prove their father's innocence. In the end, the girls successfully manage to clear the Marchetta name and reclaim the company. Nearly six months after the scandal began, the girls are seen leading the company, with Ava as the CEO and Tanzie working as a lab technician, with them both finding boyfriends.
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Trail of the Screaming Forehead
A small town infestation of crawling alien foreheads that begin attaching to people and taking them over collides with a scientists experiments to extract foreheadazine and things go horribly horribly wrong.
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While driving to her hometown Ovid, Colorado, to visit her brother and local sheriff Jeff and her niece Olympia, Joan Burrows recalls her traumatic experience with her best friend Susie when they were teenagers. Joan and Susie are smoking pot in the cemetery and decide to snoop on the caretaker Bishop in the funeral home. Joan falls and hurts her knee, and Bishop invites the girls to enter in the house to clean the wound. Soon they are sedated with chloroform and submitted to a cruel torture in a sick game where Bishop tells each girl to ask to kill the other to stop the suffering. When a copycat killer kills Olympias friends, Joan tells the police officers that Bishop is back but nobody believes her.
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Based on the letters of Colonel Robert G. Shaw. Shaw was an officer in the Federal Army during the American Civil War who volunteered to lead the first company of black soldiers. Shaw was forced to deal with the prejudices of both the enemy (who had orders to kill commanding officers of blacks), and of his own fellow officers.
Love On A Branch Line
Jasper is the perfect English Civil Servant - polite and refined. But to his girl friend, and even to himself, he is a bore. So he decides to become a painter in Paris. Not so fast. The powers-that-be send him to the country to dismantle a forgotten research unit which is headquartered in an old mansion. The eccentric owner lives in a railway train, on his own branch line, letting the government pay for the upkeep of his ancestral home. The small research unit enjoys running the stately home and everyone is content with the status quo. Enter Jasper who quickly meets Lord Flamboroughs three daughters, who, in one way or another contrive to make Jasper feel very much at home. Jaspers life is turned upside down, and he must eventually decide where his own personal future will lie.
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A power vacuum develops when the top mob boss flees a federal indictment.
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