The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Saying that the third film in a series with two pretty weak prior entries is the best of the bunch may be faint praise, but that happens to be the case with Eclipse. Not as stiff as Twilight and not as dour as New Moon, Eclipse actually has some gripping moments in between all the staring and caring. That said, if you're already turned off by the idea of sparkly vampires without fangs and young men wandering around sans shirts for no apparent reason, there's nothing in here that's going to change your mind.

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Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead [unrated]

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead [unrated]
It is always nice to have a day off of work. I decided to do so after traveling two hours to Philadelphia to watch the opening night of the Pearl Jam dates to close down the historic Spectrum where the Flyers won their two Stanley Cup trophies and Kate Smith sang "God Bless America." What I question about my decision to take off and catch up on sleep is the idea I had to watch the two direct-to-video sequels of the subpar "Wrong Turn" film back-to-back. The second film wasn´t too terribly bad and was marginally better than the first. However, the second sequel was an entirely different story and whereas I applaud writer Connor James Delaney for trying to create a deep and involved situation for the cannibal Three Finger to enjoy a romp through the woods of West Virginia, this film is an example of horrible execution and I´m not talking about the gory death scenes.

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Black Book

Black Book
Paul Verhoeven is a filmmaker who takes no prisoners. He wants nothing more than to fracture reality through his particularly pulpy cinematic lens and to project this grotesque image in front of as many spectators as possible. He makes no excuses for his excesses and this is one of the reasons why he has been marginalized by much of the mainstream media. They have comfortably divided his career into two convenient phases: on the one hand, he is the Dutch art filmmaker who received worldwide acclaim for his “complex” films such as “Turkish Delight”, “Soldier of Orange” and “The Fourth Man”. On the other, he is the tabloid Hollywood sensationalist who glorified sleazy sex and extreme violence in such films as “RoboCop”, “Total Recall”, “Basic Instinct” and his American albatross, “Showgirls”. The division is merely convenient and nothing more than an illusion. All of the films mentioned, Dutch and American, are the work of a singular, brilliant filmmaker whose work has not changed at all from Holland to Hollywood and back.

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Hereafter

Hereafter
It's safe to say that, as a director, Clint Eastwood shows no fear. Only a few years beyond telling the story of Iwo Jima from the Japanese point-of-view, Eastwood ventures down another little traveled cinematic avenue by making what is essentially a "French movie" (at least in terms of narrative approach and pacing) using American money and featuring a mostly English-speaking cast. And, although the movie is imperfect and unlikely to achieve anything close to mainstream acceptance, its refusal to court box office success exhibits a nobility of purpose. Additionally, it arrives without a hint of the sanctimoniousness that accompanied the release of Eastwood's preachy parable of racial unity, Invictus.

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W.
It would be grossly unfair to criticize W. as a hatchet job - it's too clumsy for such a description to apply. This movie frequently feels like the shotgun marriage of Nightline and Saturday Night Live. Superficial, uninformative, and inert, this two hour snoozefest isn't even inflammatory enough to stoke a righteous anti-Bush brushfire. W. does for recent history what Oliver Stone's epic Alexander did for ancient times.

W. uses pop psychology to "analyze" the 43d U.S. President and "uncover" his motives. Stone's thesis is that all George W. Bush does is with the goal of earning the love and respect of his father, two things that have been withheld from him. Or, to put it another way, he has Daddy issues. This is the only potential insight offered by W. and it is hammered home with a relentless lack of subtlety and sophistication. Putting aside the buffoonery that characterizes Josh Brolin's over-the-top mimicry of the title character, this is Bush's sole personality trait. Instead of taking this opportunity to provide viewers with a compelling portrait of one of the worst Presidents in this country's short history, Stone has taken the easy way out. W. is a newspaper op-ed cartoon come to life - a broad, unambiguous picture of a dunce. One expects controversy from Stone; one does not expect something this shallow and insubstantial.

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Nanny Diaries

Nanny Diaries
Tone is the most noteworthy aspect of Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini's The Nanny Diaries. In adapting the best-selling 2002 novel by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, the husband-and-wife team behind American Splendor have tried to keep their quills sharpened. The movie's attitude toward its subject matter is witty and satirical, at times (although not frequently enough) bordering on acerbic. Most of the film takes place in the Upper East Side of Manhattan, where fathers and mothers are too busy with work and their own neuroses to worry about their children, so they pawn them off to nannies. Set in this self-contained, self-important bubble of a world, The Nanny Diaries makes pointed comments about the de facto class status that exists and the absurdity of a situation in which immigrants from other countries must leave behind their children to be cared for by others so they can come to the United States and babysit the sons and daughters of strangers. However, while the film's satirical approach reaches its target, The Nanny Diaries is weak dramatically, and that limits its overall effectiveness.

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Liar Liar

Liar Liar
While watching Liar Liar, it occurred to me that the chief problem with this film is that it has a script. If Jim Carrey had been unleashed without such silly, incidental constraints as plot and dialogue, who knows where things might have gone? As it is, however, Carrey is forced to confine his antics to the needs of Liar Liar's unimaginative screenplay, and the results are mixed. There are times when Carrey is excruciatingly funny, but, on those occasions when he's expected to do anything remotely approaching "real" acting, his limitations become abundantly clear.

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Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
By-the-book macho Los Angeles supercop Joe Bamowski played by Stallone gets his high-pressure life on the edge complicated by his overprotective visiting elderly mother (Getty). The obscenely preposterous bad sitcom plot has him partnering up with her to investigate a smarmy crime lord (Rees). Along the way his mom teaches him to open up to the woman he loves (Jobeth Williams), another cop who happens to be his superior.

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Shaft
NYPD Detective John Shaft is called in to investigate the racially motivated murder of Trey Howard, committed by Walter Wade Jr., the son of a wealthy real estate tycoon. Shaft briefly meets a potential eyewitness to the murder, Diane Palmieri, but she disappears soon after and cannot be found for the trial. Wade Jr. is let off on bail and flees to Switzerland.

Two years later, Wade Jr. returns and Shaft rearrests him for leaving the country. During his temporary incarceration at police headquarters, Wade Jr. meets Peoples Hernandez, a Dominican drug lord. Wade Jr., his passport relinquished, is let off on bail again, and in frustration Shaft resigns from the police force, promising to bring Wade Jr. to justice on his own terms. Worried that Shaft might find the missing eyewitness, Wade Jr. hires Peoples to find and kill her first.

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Johnson County War

Johnson County War
Three brothers against an army. Justice knows no boundaries.

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You Kill Me

You Kill Me
Frank Falenczyk (Ben Kingsley) is a hit man for his Polish mob family in Buffalo, New York. He has a drinking problem, and when he messes up a critical assignment that puts the family business in peril, his uncle Roman Krzeminski (Philip Baker Hall), head of the family, sends him to San Francisco to clean up his act. He is forced to accept a job at a mortuary, and go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, where he confesses his job, explaining that he wants to be free of his drinking problem because it's affecting his ability to kill effectively. He falls in love with Laurel Pearson (Téa Leoni), a quirky client he meets at the funeral home. Meanwhile, an upstart Irish mob threatens the family snow-plowing business. When violence erupts, Frank returns home to face the old rivals on new terms. With assistance from Laurel, he manages to suppress his family's adversaries, killing the mob's leader and disbanding the Irish posse.

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Enemies Among Us

Enemies Among Us
Louisiana Governor Chip Majors (James DuMont) is front in line to be North Carolina Senator Edmonds' (Steven Bauer) Vice Presidential nominee. The day he is to be announced, Majors goes to a hotel, where he meets a prostitute. After a few moments, the prostitute takes out a gun and tries to assassinate him, but Majors overpowers her, and realizes that a group (led by a man named Graham (Billy Zane), is trying to assassinate him before he is chosen. Majors kills the prostitute, but his protection, Devon (Griffin Hood) and Thomas Cobbs (Eric Roberts) find out. Majors offers them both a million dollars, and they eventually agree to the bribe.

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Drowning Mona

Drowning Mona
The film's first scene shows Mona Dearly (Bette Midler) leaving her home and trying in vain to unlock her car. Her keys fit her son's car, so she takes that and drives off. In a bend, the brakes fail completely and she drives off a cliff into the Hudson River. This is observed by Clarence, who is fishing there. Chief Wyatt Rash (Danny DeVito) later observes that there are no skid marks on the road.

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Predator 2

Predator 2
In 1997, Los Angeles is suffering from both a heat wave and a turf war between heavily-armed Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels. A Predator watches a shootout between the police and Colombians, observing as Lieutenant Michael Harrigan (Danny Glover) charges into the firefight to rescue two wounded officers and drive the Colombians back into their hideout. Before the police can follow them in, the Predator crashes through a skylight and kills the Colombians. Harrigan and his detectives Leona Cantrell (María Conchita Alonso) and Danny Archuleta (Rubén Blades) find the Colombians have been slaughtered. Harrigan pursues the gang leader onto the roof and shoots him, catching a glimpse of the camouflaged Predator's silhouette, but dismissing it as an effect of the heat. Harrigan is rebuked by his superiors for disobeying orders. He is also introduced to Special Agent Peter Keyes (Gary Busey), leader of a federal task force purportedly investigating the cartels, and Detective Jerry Lambert (Bill Paxton), the newest member of Harrigan's team.

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Just Visiting

Just Visiting
A knight and his valet are plagued by a witch, and to repair the damage they make use of the services of a wizard. However, something goes wrong and they are transported from the 12th century to the year 2000. There the knight meets some of his family and slowly learns what this new century is like. However, he still needs to get back to the 12th century to deal with the witch, so he starts looking for a wizard.

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Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story

Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story
Jack Robinson is a wealthy business man with no time for anything but work. However, a family curse is looming over him - no man in the Robinson line ever lives past the age of thirty. With his upcoming birthday appears the remains of literally giant skeleton and a mysterious woman who claims to have once known the giant. Jack decides to go with her to another world where all is revealed to him along with the story of his ancestor, the original Jack and the Beanstalk. In order to save his own life and the world of the giants, Jack must right the wrongs of the past and return the magical harp and goose that lays the golden eggs to their rightful home.

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