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An earnest gay biopic that teeters on the edge of preciousness before plunging headlong into the drink, Little Ashes does have an audience out there, I'm sure. I just know that I'm not in it, nor are most of the people who will be checking it out for its much-hyped casting of Twilight heartthrob Robert Pattinson as a gay-experimenting Salvador Dalí.
While with a healthier budget, tighter script and steadier directorial hand, Ashes may have been the next Brideshead Revisited or Before Night Falls, it lands more in the neighborhood of Savage Grace.
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Toy Story 3
We donít do many movie reviews here at CrunchGear, mostly because weíre into gadgets and movies are, in a way, the anti-thesis of the physical. Semantics aside, Toy Story 3 was great.
The story is simple: Andy, the toysí owner, is leaving for college. His toys, resigning themselves to a life in the attic, prep themselves for the coming change but, instead of the must and heat of the rafters, they end up in a garbage truck. Only Woody is going with Andy to college, and when he sees his friends in danger he runs to save them.
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When it comes to period piece dramas, whether or not based on true-life characters and events, few countries accomplish these productions better than France. Séraphine, which chronicles slices from the life of 20th century painter Séraphine de Senlis (née Séraphine Louis), is French period piece biography at its best. The characterization is deft, the acting is superb, and the production values are high. If there's a dryness to the way the story is told, that's because director Martin Provost has shifted his focus toward intellectual, not emotional, satisfaction.
Eventually, it had to happen: a computer-animated dud. It's surprising it has taken this long, and we have been spoiled by the high quality of the product, with such winning titles as Toy Story, Shrek, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and others. But, with the death of traditional animation and the proliferation of titles in this arena, a slip in quality was inevitable. Thus far, 2005 has seen two of these movies: Robots and Madagascar. And, although Robots was mediocre entertainment, Madagascar slips a notch below that.
All Over Me
Welcome to Hell's Kitchen: a part of New York City that's not on many visitors' tour maps. Hell's Kitchen the quintessential inner city: no one has any money, crime is rampant, and everyone dreams of getting out. It makes a great backdrop for a motion picture, provided that you want your story to be set against a world of poverty, violence, and drug abuse. Since that's precisely what first-time film makers Alex and Sylvia Sichel were after, Hell's Kitchen is the perfect setting for their debut, All Over Me.
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As promised, Jay and Silent Bob are back. The quirky duo who hung around in the background of Kevin Smith's 1994 debut feature, Clerks, have returned to the screen for the followup, Mallrats, the middle picture of the so-called "New Jersey Trilogy." (Although ostensibly taking place in the Garden State, Mallrats was filmed almost entirely in Los Angeles and Minnesota.) In many ways, this new movie is a less original, not-as-funny, full color redressing of Clerks. Despite a broad range of effective comedy and a decent laugh-per-minute ratio, Mallrats is likely to be a moderate disappointment for anyone who guffawed their way through the previous film.
"Hamlet" meets The Jungle Book - that's what The Lion King is - adding, of course, a few special touches all its own. Disney's 32nd animated feature film is its darkest since The Black Cauldron, and, in many ways, a departure from the light-heartedness of The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin. There are moments of fun and humor, to be sure, but the undercurrent is of a far more serious, "adult" nature.
The Lion King is primarily about guilt and redemption. Simba, a young lion cub and heir to his father's throne, is led to believe that he was the cause of the king's death. The trauma caused by this is so great that Simba goes into exile, attempting to find peace-of-mind through anonymity in the company of a warthog and a meerkat. But it's never that easy to escape the past...
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Will the real Howard Stern please stand up? For, in truth, the man who haunts the airwaves of nearly three-dozen radio stations each morning seems vastly different from the kinder, milder version who graces the screen in Betty Thomas' sweet, often-hilarious biopic. Based on the bestselling book of the same name, Private Parts relates some of the details of Stern's life -- his romance with his wife, Alison (Mary McCormack), his early radio failures, his development into America's foremost "shock jock", and his vitriolic war with NBC's top brass. Along the way, we get to know Howard as a tender, intelligent, affable guy who just happens to do an "offensive... obnoxious... disgusting" radio show. So who is Howard Stern, really? Is he Private Parts' gentle soul with a loud mouth, or is he just the loud mouth? In recent interviews, Stern has asserted that the latter is correct; his wife, on the other hand, claims it's the former. Actually, it doesn't make much difference; the truth about Stern's nature doesn't alter the fact that Private Parts is an entertaining motion picture.
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The unadulterated anger directed towards German filmmaker Uwe Boll is, for the most part, warranted. Simply put: The man doesnít make good movies, and people tend to hate him for it. However, despite Bollís dedication to impossibly bad taste and his penchant for taking popular videogames and completely reworking their core storylines to suit his ambitions, I am hopelessly drawn to the manís body of work. No matter how wretched or downright pathetic his latest endeavor may be, I always seem to come back for more whenever the Gods of Celluloid graciously allow him to create another feature-length abomination. I like to call it cinematic masochism. Old-fashioned stupidity works, too.
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Working with his three friends at their new software development company Skullbocks, Stanford graduate Milo Hoffman (Phillippe) is contacted by CEO Gary Winston (Robbins) of NURV (Never Underestimate Radical Vision) for a very attractive programming position: a fat paycheck, an almost-unrestrained working environment, and extensive creative control over his work. Accepting Winston's offer, Hoffman and his girlfriend, Alice Poulson (Forlani), move to NURV headquarters in Portland, Oregon.
Tooth (Yasmin Paige) is a fairy from the mysterious Fairytopia land, and she is bored of her hard everyday duties in this family-friendly adventure movie. Tooths job is to collect the teeth and to leave coins, and she suddenly leaves a big sum of money in the house of the two youngsters Tolly (Maisie Preston) and Tom (Rory Copus). Their dad and mom know nothing about the fortune and, meanwhile, Tooth finds out Fairytopia lacks Christmas money funds due to her loss. Persecuted by the evil money-craving Plug (Phyllida Law), they can save the holidays on their way to Fairyland only together.
Six youths ditch school for the woods where some hot rodding on a stolen moped changes the fate of their day. They crash into Peter, a disheveled drifter, who is delighted to have a group of teens to hang out with. First he gains their trust by joining in their games but then his behavior changes. Peter uses what he has learned about the kids against them, bullying the alpha boys, belittling the weaker ones and saving his worst for the only girl in the group. Realising too late they are being held hostage the kids are forced to embrace the dark side of human nature in order to survive the ordeal.
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The Ghosts of Crowley Hall
Is There Anybody Out There?
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Not Another Not Another Movie
In this non- stop hilarious ride we follow a struggling Movie Studio that is willing to do anything to make a buck even if it means ruining its reputation, and running the Movie Industry into the ground. This film has everything that an audience wants from a LAUGH OUT LOUD COMEDY by taking a no-holds barred attack on the Spoof Genre from Blockbuster Action movies to Dramas and Documentaries to Popular Television shows.
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