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Death at a Funeral

Death at a Funeral
Death at a Funeral, the 2007 British comedy centering around horrible albeit hilarious hijinx at a funeral, gets the remake treatment as an American comedy loaded with well-known comic actors. Chris Rock produces and stars as the son of the deceased, playing straight man to Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan, Regina Hall, Danny Glover, and Loretta Devine among others. And it was Rock's idea to redo the British film, move it to LA, and have it center around an African-American family.

Rock saw the original film in a nearly empty theater and thought he could take the set-up, twist it, and deliver laughs to a wider audience. It must have seemed like a good idea at the time, as the first Death at a Funeral was very funny but never caught on. But Rock's take on a family enduring a funeral that's gone drastically wrong only pays off in scattered laughs.

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Dead Cert

Dead Cert
Given the seemingly never ending popularity of the Brit gangster film, it was always inevitable that sooner or later someone would take the next logical step and combine it with the horror genre. “Dead Cert” does just that, following in the footsteps of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriquez’s classic “Dusk Till Dawn” by throwing vampires into the mix. Directed by Steve Lawson (“Just For The Record”), the film comes with a cast list that reads like a who’s who of Brit genre talent, including Craig Fairbrass (“Rise Of The Footsoldier”), Billy Murray (“Essex Boys”), Dexter Fletcher (“Kick-Ass”), Steven Berkoff (“44 Inch Chest”), Dave Legeno (“Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince”), top character actor Jason Flemying (“Clash Of The Titans”) and even a bonus in the form of a cameo, from the one and only Danny Dyer (“Basement”). The film now arrives on DVD via Momentum Pictures, coming complete with a making of featurette and audio commentary.

Fairbass plays the titular Freddie ‘Dead Cert’ Frankham, a former crook trying to turn respectable and take a few steps up the ladder by opening up a sleazy London nightclub. Unfortunately for Freddie and his various underworld pals, said club just happens to be on the site of an ancient Black Church, established back in the 17th Century by a Romanian vampire warlord imaginatively called The Wolf. On the opening night of the club the evil one returns in his new guise as a feared Romanian drug lord, determined to rest his former seat of power back from Freddie and his goons and start an all new reign of darkness.

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Chaos
In Seattle, detective Quentin Conners is unfairly suspended and his partner Jason York leaves the police force after a tragic shooting on Pearl Street Bridge, when the hostage and the criminal die.

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The New World

The New World
The New World's sociological and emotional heft is encased in a swirl of hallucinatory images. This is a fitting description given that Terrence Malick approaches the story of John Smith and Pocahontas as if it were a specimen of lost time trapped in amber. He turns the fossil in his hands, reflecting the light of the sun through the resinous shell of history and onto his characters from many remarkable, expressive angles, illuminating the tragedy of John Smith and Pocahontas's impossible love through the horrible conquest of the Powhatan tribe's paradise and the sad spectacle of Pocahontas's conversion into an English woman. The purpose of this lyrical experiment is an attempt to regain lost time—to substantiate the lore of John Smith and Pocahontas with profound, adult feeling. It takes back the story Disney hijacked and infantilized in 1995's Pocahontas.

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Welcome to Mooseport

Welcome to Mooseport
What might have been… Those four words tell the sad story of too many films, and Welcome to Mooseport is one of them. It starts out with a terrific premise, ripe with the potential for the kind of political satire we haven't seen on the big screen since Bulworth: what if a popular ex-president ran against a likable hardware store owner to be the mayor of a small town? But a premise is nothing more than a sturdy building block, and, in this case, the filmmakers have employed the shoddiest construction crew imaginable. Welcome to Mooseport's satirical edge is dull and pitted, the screenplay is overlong and uninteresting, the comedy is soft and shapeless, and the actors perform like they're on a sit com. There's not a whole lot to like about Welcome to Mooseport, and, considering how lively real politics can be these days, you're likely to get more entertainment from watching two hours of CSPAN.

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Punisher: War Zone

Punisher: War Zone
Marvel Comics must really like The Punisher. This is their third attempt to bring him to the big screen. There's a saying that "the third time's a charm," but it doesn't apply here. More appropriate is this baseball-related statement: "Three strikes and you're out." Chiefly because of the slick production values and shorter running time, Punisher: War Zone is an improvement over 2004's The Punisher (with Thomas Jane in the title role), but not to an extent that most people will notice. It's considerably better than the earlier Dolph Lundgren version, but the less said about that the better. Punisher: War Zone is bad enough that it may remind viewers how lucky we have been this year to get two superior superhero movies in Iron Man and The Dark Knight.

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Nightmare Before Christmas

Nightmare Before Christmas
When I was a child, one of the reasons I enjoyed the Christmas season so much was the annual arrival of those endlessly-repeated television specials: Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, The Year Without a Santa Claus. Tim Burton must remember those programs too, because, in his own inimitable way, he has paid homage to them in this most twisted of holiday fairy tales, The Nightmare Before Christmas.

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War Zone

War Zone
Note to readers: this review contains spoilers. While I do not believe the revelation of certain plot points will in any way compromise the viewing experience, those who wish to see The War Zone without having previous knowledge of a key element would do well to bail out now and return after they have seen the film.

The title of The War Zone conjures up images of devastation and disaster, of broken lives and rotting corpses. And, while this stunningly accomplished feature debut from Tim Roth has nothing to do with traditional battlefields, it is every bit as harrowing as the first 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan or the whole of Schindler's List. The destruction presented in this film is as graphic and shocking as anything depicted in the most unsparing war movie, except that the victims are not soldiers trained for combat, but children placed in harm's way.

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Adventures of a Teenage Dragonslayer

Adventures of a Teenage Dragonslayer
Branded as a 'nerd' and harassed by the school bully, 12-year-old Arthur is rescued by a magical troll who knows that the boy unwittingly holds the secret to defeat an evil dragon. Arthur's loving mom, struggling to keep her devious ex-husband from gaining custody of Arthur, dismisses her son's 'fantasies' until she realizes the all-too-real immediate danger and joins forces with Arthur, the troll, and a dashing but washed up video-game master. Together, they hope to conquer the dragon and the wicked vice-principal who threaten civilization.

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Redline

Redline
Natasha Martin (Nadia Bjorlin) is a beautiful auto mechanic and aspiring musician who is invited to join music producer Infamous (Eddie Griffin) aboard his private jet en route to Las Vegas in appreciation of her services on his Ford GT. She is also a highly-skilled race car driver, but is sometimes haunted by memories of her father's death at a NASCAR race many years ago. Meanwhile, on another side of town, Carlo (Nathan Phillips) has just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq. He meets up with his brother Jason (Jesse Johnson) before heading to Vegas themselves. Carlo is not happy that Jason is living with their mob boss uncle Michael D'Orazio (Angus Macfadyen), whom he always sees as the cause of their family's destruction. Little do they know that Michael has been running an unsuccessful counterfeiting ring and owes another crime organization millions of dollars.

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Mr. Majestyk

Mr. Majestyk
Vietnam veteran Vince Majestyk just wants to grow his watermelons and live in peace on his farm. But the local mob boss has different ideas. When his workers are threatened Mr. Majestyk decides to lend them a hand but then the wrath of the mob is turned onto Mr. Majestyk himself. The poor mobsters dont stand a chance.

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Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
After receiving a vision from Obi-Wan Kenobi and fleeing the ice world of Hoth with his friends after an Imperial attack, Luke Skywalker travels to the marsh planet of Dagobah, where he is instructed in the ways of the Force by the legendary Jedi master Yoda. Meanwhile, Han Solo and Princess Leia make their way to planet Bespin, where they are greeted by Hans old friend, a shifty gambler named Lando Calrissian. Ambushed by the Empire shortly after their arrival, Han and his friends are imprisoned by Darth Vader. Luke leaves Dagobah to rescue his friends, and is met by Vader and a startling revelation.

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Clay Pigeons

Clay Pigeons
Clay (as in the title) is a young man in a small town who witnesses his friend kill himself because of the ongoing affair that Clay was having with the mans wife. Feeling guilty, Clay now resists the widow when she presses him to continue with their sexual affairs. Into this comes a serial killer who befriends Clay, even to murdering the nagging widow for him... but certainly not at Clays request. But that doesnt matter for the police, as well as for a savvy female FBI agent who sees Clay as their prime suspect. Yet Clay doesnt tell them of his friend who admits to him of his serial killings, primarily because Clay sees himself as somewhat of an accomplice, in that he seems to have introduced to the killer each young woman that is killed... in fact, the sheriff comments that he wishes Clay would quit finding the murdered victims, which he always seems to do. But at last Clay is able to turn from being the pigeon... to giving the film its very unpredictable conclusion.

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Julia
Julia is a drunk. She loses her job in real estate and at an A.A. meeting meets a neighbor, Elena, an addled Mexican woman who talks about having lots of money and a plan to kidnap her own son from the boys grandfather, a wealthy businessman. Elena wants Julias help. Julia says yes with her own plan to do this alone. Following Elenas plan, Julia manages to grab the boy, Tom, whos about 10. Now what? She asks for a ransom. Toms grandfather and his money are connected directly to Mexican drug trafficking, so Julia is up against long odds. Will anyone make it out alive?

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Kickboxer 3: The Art of War

Kickboxer 3: The Art of War
Together with his trainer Xian, Kickbox champion David Sloan arrives in Rio de Janeiro for a show fight. Soon hes confronted with the darker sides of the city, when pocket picker Costa tries to steal his camera. He takes him and his beautiful sister Isabella under his wings and to his fight. There Isabella gains the attention of a ruthless white-slave agent, who happens to be his opponent Martins manager. Not long until David needs to use his fighting skill also outside the ring.

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Lovely by Surprise

Lovely by Surprise
A truly unique and visually stunning take on meta-fiction, Lovely By Surprise follows the journey of novelist Marian Walker as she attempts to finish her first novel. Facing the age-old problem of writers block, Marian seeks advice from a mentor and ex-lover.

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