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A Nightmare on Elm Street

A Nightmare on Elm Street
We're not usually ones to advocate for more skin in a non-'skin-flick' (well, okay— we are), but this is one of those rare instances where a film broaches the risky 'too-serious' shooting style for a premise as implausible and silly as they come. What would fix this? Surely taking a deep breath and letting go of the pretence, embracing the silliness and giving people as much titillation as possible. Heck—it worked for Wes Craven's original film back in 1984 and again most recently with 'Jennifer's Body'. Unfortunately, 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is neither as enjoyably schlock as the original or as slickly produced (and marketed) as the successful Megan Fox creature feature.

For those unfamiliar with the dubiously "classic" original, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a slasher-film in the purest sense, revolving around the killing of teens – and lots of them. The villain is the iconic Freddy Krueger, a being who haunts his victims in their dreams, breaking through to their waking lives to tear them apart with his single finger-bladed glove.

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Little Hercules in 3-D

Little Hercules in 3-D
Friends, Epicians, lend me your ears!!! It's your friendly neighborhood reporter Epic-1 and I'm back!!! This time I come to you with Little Hercules featuring the entire Hogan family - before the messy divorce. We have Terry "Hulk" Hogan as Zeus the father of little Hercules (Richard Sandrak). So Little Herc sneaks away to earth while his father is arguing with Marduk (Paul "Big Show" Wight) about which is better: Mt. Olympus or Babylon? During his adventures he becomes friends with Curtis (Marc John Jefferies) a young kid whose mother, Dana (Robin Givens) is trying to find Mr. Right. Curtis and Hercules get into trouble with the bully in the movie XX (Nick Hogan) who tries and make's Hercules life a living hell. Hercules then goes to school with Curtis where we find out that the place is closing.

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V for Vendetta

V for Vendetta
Politicians lie to hide the truth, artists tell lies to reveal it; so proclaims the newest work from the creators of The Matrix. V for Vendetta is a lie, a work of fiction written to reveal truth. It's not easy or comfortable truth, but there is truth somewhere in it. I'm tempted to lie here and tell you that there's also a ton of kung fu, since that's probably the best way to lure as many people as possible into seeing it. But I'll avoid fabrication and stick with facts. This isn't an action film or a superhero movie or even really science fiction. V for Vendetta is an idea. A subversive, uncompromising (somewhat naïve) idea.

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Goldeneye

Goldeneye
Like everything else, James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) has had to change for the nineties. The venerable 007, coming off a long hiatus, has taken on his sixth face (the other five being Sean Connery, David Niven, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton), changed his mode of transport from an Aston- Martin to a BMW, and now answers to a female "M" (played dryly by Judi Dench). Bond's attitudes towards women have been modified -- although not greatly. Also, there's more action in Goldeneye than in previous 007 entries -- enough to keep a ninety-minute film moving at a frantic pace. Unfortunately, this movie isn't ninety-minutes long -- it's one-hundred thirty, which means that fully one-quarter of Goldeneye is momentum-killing padding.

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Open Your Eyes

Open Your Eyes
Of all the films that emerged from the 1998 Sundance Film Festival, none caused me to ponder, wonder, and puzzle more than Alejandro Amenabar's sophomore feature, Open Your Eyes. Film of this intelligence, audacity, and complexity come along so rarely that it's mandatory to cry out their arrival. Saving Private Ryan may be the best movie I saw in 1998, but Open Your Eyes was the most original. (Note: North American distribution was delayed from the originally planned October 1998 to April 1999.) It is a piece of cinema that will have viewers guessing and questioning from beginning to end.

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Miss March (aka Playboys)

Miss March (aka Playboys)
The movie begins with Eugene (Slade Pearce) and his best friend Tucker (Remy Thorne) as kids. They sneak into the bedroom closet of Eugene's brother, as he recently acquired a valuable Michael Jordan rookie card. Upon opening the box the card was in, Tucker notices that Eugene's brother has a copy of Playboy. Tucker opens the magazine, instantly becoming obsessed with it. Three weeks later, Tucker's demeanor has changed to that of a hormone driven teenager, despite that he is only 8 years old. Fast forward ten years later, Eugene (Zach Cregger) and Tucker (Trevor Moore) are seniors in high school.

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Evolution

Evolution
Community college professor Ira Kane (David Duchovny) is invited by geology teacher/girls' volleyball coach Harry Block (Orlando Jones) to investigate a meteor that has crashed into a network of underground caverns under the sleepy Arizona town of Glen Canyon. They collect a sample and find that it contains extraterrestrial single-celled nitrogen-based organisms, which evolve into multi-celled organisms by the time Ira gets Harry to his office to see the discovery they made.

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Wild Seven

Wild Seven
In this darkly karmic vision of Arizona, a man who breathes nothing but ill will begins a noxious domino effect as quickly as an uncontrollable virus kills. As he exits Arizona State Penn after twenty-one long years, Wilson has only one thing on the brain, leveling the score with career criminal, Mackey Willis. As eccentric and intuitive as he is vicious, Mackeys own perfected criminal game will play right into the path Wilson has set for him. With the help of a prison bus driver, Lee Marvin, Wilson acts as a catalyst, putting a plan into action that will bring an untimely end to Mackey Willis. The problem is, no plan is perfect. Meanwhile, an aimless bunch of Arizona twenty-nothings are cooking up a heist that will lead them to the same bank, with different intentions. Skilled at nothing beyond drinking, doing drugs and attending strip clubs, their plan is destined for immediate failure. Heavily armed, without a single identifiable clue, these boys are as blind as they are impulsive. With both plans loosely angled inward, the vengefully mystical presence of the Sonoran landscape will have its way and every solider will fall on his own sword.

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What We Do Is Secret

What We Do Is Secret
Jan Paul Beahm (Shane West) grows up in Los Angeles through a troubled childhood: He does not know his biological father, his mother is an alcoholic, and his older brother dies from a heroin overdose. He is an avid reader and develops into a "frighteningly intelligent" student at University High School, where his antisocial behavior leads the administration to give him straight A's if he agrees not to return to school. In December 1975, at age 17, he proposes to his friend Georg Ruthenberg (Rick Gonzalez) that they start a band, showing him song lyrics he has written and claiming to have a "five year plan" inspired by the David Bowie song "Five Years". They put up a flyer soliciting "2 untalented girls who don't know how to play their instruments", attracting Terri Ryan (Bijou Phillips), Belinda Carlisle (Lauren German), and Becky Barton (Amy Halloran). They con money from Becky's grandmother to buy instruments and Jan Paul comes up with the name Germs, representing the germination of an idea. He becomes the singer while Georg plays guitar, Terri plays bass guitar, and Becky plays drums.

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Kicking the Dog

Kicking the Dog
Remember that last great summer you had with your friends? The summer you hoped would never end. Kicking The Dog is the story of that summer - a story about real life. Yes, the characters need to make life-changing decisions, but theyre also partying, poking boobs, searching the fridge for emergency lubricants, telling stories about sharing condoms and enjoying other distractions that make spending time with old friends something so memorable youll never find it anywhere else in life - no matter who you meet. Satchem and Julie must decide whether they should pursue their own personal dreams, or stay together, all while telling stories about nipples and wieners. Matt can and will hook up with any girl that crosses his path, including the girl of his brother Robbies dreams. The sexually frustrated Josh finds himself working at the local porn shop while dating the former slut turned good-girl Jen. Soon his interest in fetishes conflicts with her new found morals, leading to some interesting and confusing moments. High schoolers Robbie, Ronald, The Chubby Kid are doing their best to meet girls and decide the big party needs a theme - No-Panties Party. They soon realize the best times are always with your oldest friends and the ones you love the most.

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Extraordinary Rendition

Extraordinary Rendition
A man is abducted from the streets of London and transported via secret flights to an unknown country. Held in solitary confinement and cut off from the outside world, he is plunged into a lawless nightmare of detention without trial, interrogation and torture. Returned without explanation to the UK many months later, he is left to pick up the pieces of a shattered life in a world he no longer recognises.

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Forever Strong

Forever Strong
A talented-but-troubled rugby player must play against the team his father coaches at the national championship.

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Growing Up Brady

Growing Up Brady
A tell-all story of what happened behind the scenes of the 70s hit TV series The Brady Bunch. Based on the book written by Barry Williams, the actor who played Greg Brady.

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Joy of Sex

Joy of Sex
Teenager Leslie Hindenberg, mistakenly believing she has just weeks to live, decides she will lose her virginity before she dies. Meanwhile, hormone-crazed Alan Holt pursues some sex for himself, with predictable results.

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Meat Weed America

Meat Weed America
Bin Smokin flies a miniature airplane into Meatweed Manor down South as revenge for having his foreskin stolen and smoked as a baby by Lord Meatweed. Jessie Bell flees to New York City and tries to become a model but is corrupted by the evil Hempress and Art Dealer. Lord Meatweed must then rally the troops to save Jessie Bell and fight off the Jihottie Terrorists, who Bullpucky hangs from hooks in their skin.

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Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing & Charm School

Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing & Charm School
Dance is a very powerful drug, if embraced judiciously to reap its rewards, one must shoulder its challenges with intrepid countenance. Frank Keene, a grieving baker in a near catatonic state, happens on a car accident. The loquacious and insightful victim, Steve Mills, is on his way to an appointment in Pasadena with a years-ago acquaintance he asks Frank to go in his place. Its a dance class. Frank goes, to find Steves friend. The story moves back and forth among Steves childhood, the scene of the accident, and the aftermath of Franks first Lindy hop. Black eyes, group therapy, loneliness, boys being boys, roads not taken, and saying good-bye color the story.

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