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100 Tears

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100 Tears
So as we start we role credits over a man putting on what appears to be clown makeup, in a room full of porcelain clown dolls. In the same room is a girl bound, trying to break free, as she does we see the clown’s brains getting blown out by his own hand.

100 Tears

Ricky Gervais Live 3: Fame

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Ricky Gervais Live 3: Fame
As always Ricky Gervais is self-depreciating and irresistibly smart. He can irritate you, he can make you break into tears laughing, but whatever - you must see this show! Ricky Gervais is performing in the same genius style as he usually does in his shows, and he is talking not only about his own experience of fame, but on what other people do to gain it. His jokes this time vary from Autistic people to Big Brother, and also touch upon his career quite a bit.

Ricky Gervais Live 3: Fame

Tormented

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Tormented
The late ’70s high school slasher movie gets a Facebook-era makeover in this sporadically gruesome but non-frightening British horror comedy. Just as squeaky-clean head girl Justine (Tuppence Middleton) gains entry to the ruling ‘In Crowd’ clique, it tears itself apart.

Tormented

Mother of Tears: The Third Mother

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Mother of Tears: The Third Mother
The film begins with members of the Catholic Church digging up the body of a 19th century church official, whose casket has a box-shaped urn chained to it. Inside the box they discover artifacts belonging to Mater Lachrymarum (Moran Atias), the last surviving member of the Three Mothers; an ancient trio of powerful black witches. In particular, the box contains a magic cloak that, when worn by Mater Lachrymarum, increases her powers significantly.

Mother of Tears: The Third Mother

Gone Baby Gone

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Gone Baby Gone
When 4 year old Amanda McCready disappears from her home and the police make little headway in solving the case, the girls aunt Beatrice McCready hires two private detectives Patrick Kenzie and Angie Gennaro. The detective freely admit that they have little experience with this type of case, but the family wants them for two reasons - theyre not cops and they know the tough neighborhood in which they all live. As the case progresses, Kenzie and Gennaro face drug dealers, gangs and pedophiles. When they finally solve the case, they are faced with a moral dilemma that tears them apart.

Gone Baby Gone

Tears of the Sun

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Tears of the Sun
A coup d'état occurs in Nigeria, violently overthrowing the Presidential Azuka family, and establishing the dictatorship of rebel general Mustafa Yakubu. The Northern Fulani Muslim rebels then execute a violent ethnic cleansing, against the Christian (mainly Catholic) Igbo tribes in the southern region.

Tears of the Sun

Everybody's Fine

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Everybody's Fine
The marketing for Everybody's Fine would have you believe that the film is a heartfelt dramedy about a widowed father coming to terms with the fact that his scattered children have, in a sense, outgrown him. From the smiling faces on the poster, or the liberal use of "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" throughout the trailer, one might expect a balanced combination of laughter and tears meant to simultaneously move and uplift theatergoers. In truth, however, Everybody's Fine is all tears and no laughter, perhaps the saddest and most joyless film released in the last several months. Any quirkiness or levity implied in the marketing is entirely the invention of clever editing and musical choices. The film itself is an unrepentant, lump-in-the-throat drama that works emotionally yet ultimately fails with regard to its storytelling.

Everybody's Fine

The Last Detail

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The Last Detail
Two bawdy, tough looking navy lifers - Bad-Ass Buddusky, and Mule Mulhall - are commissioned to escort a young pilferer named Meadows to the brig in Boston. Meadows is not much of a thief. Indeed, in his late teens, he is not much of a man at all. His great crime was to try to steal forty dollars from the generals wifes pet charity. For this, hes been sentenced to eight years behind bars. At first, Buddusky and Mulhall view the journey as a paid vacation, but their holiday spirits are quickly depressed by the prisoner, who looks prepared to break into tears at any moment. And he has the lowest self-image imaginable. Buddusky gets it into his head to give Meadows a good time and teach him a bit about getting on in the world. Lesson one Dont take every card life deals you. Next, he teaches Meadows to drink, and, as a coup de grace, finds a nice young whore to instruct him in lovemaking. Mule, who worries aloud about his own position with military authority, seems pleased with Meadowss progress. However, when the trio reach Boston, the game comes abruptly to an end as reality sets in.

The Last Detail

Life as We Know It

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Life as We Know It
The best thing that can be said about Life as We Know It is that it gets some of the details right when it comes to the experience of sharing a home with an infant. Still, all the poop, vomit, sleepless nights, and cute, joyous little moments can't make up for the fact that the framework is constructed out of artifice. Cloying and at times annoying, Life as We Know It is egregiously manipulative, whoring itself out for a few unearned tears. In fact, although it poses as a story about the love of (adoptive) parents for a child, it's really little more than a standard-order romantic comedy. The proof is in the ending with the final ten-or-so minutes being copied chapter and verse from the Romantic Comedy Playbook. Isn't anyone else tired of having so many movies of this ilk climaxing in airports?

Life as We Know It

In Her Shoes

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In Her Shoes
Some movies are simply made for women, and heterosexual men have no hope of appreciating them, I suppose. Do you like shoes? False sentimentality? Something that mistakes generalizations for insight? Then In Her Shoes is the film for you. Curtis Hanson's slack follow-up to his rapper hero-worship outing, 8 Mile, is a disappointing look at sisterhood based on the chick novel by Jennifer Weiner. A frequently saccharine and false motion picture, In Her Shoes wants to elicit tears it never earns and tie everything together into a tidy bundle that leaves no cliché untouched. Artificial in both its dialogue and its construction, the film only works - on those occasions when it works - because of the sincere performance by the underrated Toni Collette.

In Her Shoes

Oliver Twist

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Oliver Twist
You know there's a problem when the most interesting character in a film called Oliver Twist is a supporting woman named Nancy. Technically sound and surprisingly faithful to its source material, Roman Polanski's version of Oliver Twist comes across as uninspired and flat. Only two performances - that of Leanne Rowe as Nancy Sikes and Jamie Foreman as Bill Sikes - have energy. The biggest deficiency is Barney Clark, whose performance as the title character vacillates between befuddlement and artificial weepiness (rarely have I seen more crocodile tears). For the story to work, sympathy with Oliver is mandatory, but Clark's acting and Polanski's direction keep the character at arm's length. I cared about Nancy and wanted Bill to get his comeuppance, but Oliver seems inconsequential.

Oliver Twist

Walk to Remember

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Walk to Remember
Note to readers: This review contains spoilers. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Romance, tears, and not a well-developed character in sight - what more could one expect from the director of The Wedding Planner? Once again, director Adam Shankman has foisted upon the public a production so narrowly targeted that a majority of movie-goers will ignore its existence. In the case of A Walk to Remember, the only people likely to have nice things to say about what's on the screen are girls in their pre-teen and early teenage years, and the word "discrimination" is rarely used to describe their movie-going habits.

Walk to Remember

Little Princess

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Little Princess
A "family movie" is often loosely defined as a motion picture that, aimed at children, is likely to bore parents to tears. Numerous examples leap to mind, most of them from Walt Disney Studios, a production company that holds the curious distinction of making animated features that are more mature than live-action ones. However, A Little Princess isn't from Disney, it's from Warner Brothers. Most importantly, it's not only suitable for consumption by those over age 10, it's actually enjoyable.

Little Princess

Moonlight Mile

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Moonlight Mile
When I first saw the trailer for Moonlight Mile, it raised a few red flags, but I was at least comforted by the realization that Dustin Hoffman and Susan Sarandon, the film's stars, are usually reasonably choosy about the roles they tackle. In making that assessment, I temporarily forgot Sphere and Stepmom. Had I recalled these, it would have occurred to me that Hoffman and Sarandon are fallible when it comes to choosing their roles, and the sheer agony of sitting through Moonlight Mile would not have come as such a shock.

Moonlight Mile is the product of writer/director Brad Silberling, who has based some of the movie on his own experiences with grief. In 1989, Silberling's then-girlfriend, actress Rebecca Schaeffer ("My Sister Sam"), was murdered outside of her Hollywood home by a deranged fan. According to Silberling, when devising the screenplay for Moonlight Mile, he drew from aspects of what he and others close to Schaeffer endured in the wake of her death. It's too bad more of the gut-wrenching pain of this kind of loss didn't make it to the screen. Instead, all that's there is a choking, cloying sense of artifice.

Moonlight Mile

Mr. Bean's Holiday

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Mr. Bean's Holiday
Most Americans haven’t really had the chance to appreciate the quirky humor of Mr. Bean, especially if their only experience with Rowan Atkinson’s bumbling character was the painfully dull Bean which bored theater audiences to tears in the late 90s. Those of us on the States side of the pond who were lucky enough to have a television station that aired old BBC shows know Atkinson has much more to offer. Mr. Bean doesn’t need a stupid Americanized family-comedy script to be funny, and in fact he does better without much of a script at all. Someone had that realization when they pulled together Bean’s latest cinematic adventure and the result is classic Mr. Bean comedy goodness.

Mr. Bean's Holiday