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Little Hercules in 3-D
Friends, Epicians, lend me your ears!!! It's your friendly neighborhood reporter Epic-1 and I'm back!!! This time I come to you with Little Hercules featuring the entire Hogan family - before the messy divorce. We have Terry "Hulk" Hogan as Zeus the father of little Hercules (Richard Sandrak). So Little Herc sneaks away to earth while his father is arguing with Marduk (Paul "Big Show" Wight) about which is better: Mt. Olympus or Babylon? During his adventures he becomes friends with Curtis (Marc John Jefferies) a young kid whose mother, Dana (Robin Givens) is trying to find Mr. Right. Curtis and Hercules get into trouble with the bully in the movie XX (Nick Hogan) who tries and make's Hercules life a living hell. Hercules then goes to school with Curtis where we find out that the place is closing.
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It’s twinkle versus glower in the big-screen edition of Peter Morgan’s theatrical smackdown “Frost/Nixon.” Directed by Ron Howard and adapted by Mr. Morgan, the film revisits the televised May 1977 face-off between the toothy British personality David Frost and the disgraced former president Richard M. Nixon three years after he left office, trimming their nearly 30-hour armchair-to-armchair spar into a tidy 122-minute narrative of loss and redemption that, at least from this ringside seat, would be better titled “Nixon/Frost.”
Saint John of Las Vegas
Let's see if I can get through this entire review -- about a guy with a gambling problem - without employing gambling jargon as metaphors. Sort of like writing about Julie & Julia without using food references.
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Jason Statham’s new action pic Crank wasn’t made available to critics prior to its release. Big shock. After enduring all 87 excruciating minutes of this mean-spirited, blood-drenched Mountain Dew commercial masquerading as a motion picture, I wished that the studio had the courage to do the right thing, and not make it available to audiences either. It would have saved us all a little time, as well as a few brain cells. In fact, if you had the choice of doing “crank” or seeing the film Crank, I’d strongly suggest the former as a more productive use of your time.
After a fatal crime is committed upon his wife and daughter, tough undercover cop John Hebron (Cuba Gooding Jr.) struggles to forgive himself for being unable to save them. Plagued by the past, he turns to the counsel of Father Porter (Christian Slater) who has recently experienced his own problems when the church’s holy Mary statue falls into the hands of hoodlum vandals. When on-the-run criminal Mike (Devon Bostick) tries to rehabilitate his life for the sake of his little sister, he entrusts each man with something that will change their lives forever.
Bride and Prejudice
At first, the marriage between classical British literature and Bollywood musical would seem doomed to failure. But this particular match, arranged by Gurinder Chadha, finds a surprisingly rich field of common ground. Bride and Prejudice is bright, colorful, and exhilarating, and brings new dimensions to a story that has been told so many times that it's astounding to recognize that someone has found a fresh perspective. I don't know what Jane Austen would have thought of the film, but I enjoyed it.
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No matter how compelling and intriguing a real-life story may be, it doesn't necessarily translate into an equally compelling and intriguing motion picture. Breach is a case in point. Based on the widely publicized case of turncoat FBI agent Robert Hanssen, which dominated headlines in late February 2001, the movie succeeds at being a thriller with few thrills. With an end that is predetermined (and revealed to anyone who might be in the dark in the opening scene, a news clip of John Ashcroft announcing Hanssen's arrest), there's little room for suspense. Billy Ray's chronicling of Hanssen's capture has its high points, but it's a little on the dry side. Thank god for Chris Cooper.
Kudos to Sony for not holding advance screenings of Ultraviolet. This is the kind of crap you want to keep away from critics. Masochist that I am, I went to see this on my own dime, and regret every cent spent to gain admission to the theater. This is another one of those pointless action superhero movies that unfolds like a video game in which the viewer is unable to participate. On more than one occasion, I have written that there's nothing more frustrating than watching someone else play a video game. Now I have found an exception to the rule - watching someone cheat while playing a video game. Because that's what the makers of Ultraviolet do: cheat.
Jonathan Hensleigh's directorial debut is the second movie to be based on the Marvel Comics character of The Punisher. The first film, released in 1989, stars Dolph Lundgren in the role essayed here by Thomas Jane. The earlier picture is rarely cited as one of the great comic book-to-screen translations, and, unfortunately, the 2004 version doesn't make a noticeable improvement. In recent years, a lot of Marvel superheroes have made the leap from printed page to silver screen. None has been given more shoddy treatment than The Punisher.
March of the Penguins
March of the Penguins does what all good National Geographic documentaries do: it informs and entertains while providing interesting wildlife footage. Unfortunately, it's not cinematic. The issue isn't whether the film is worth seeing, but whether it's worth the admission fee or the trip to the theater - not when you can see something of roughly equal quality on a half-dozen cable channels. My goal is not to dissuade potential viewers from seeing March of the Penguins, but to suggest that they wait for it to show up on DVD or TV. (National Geographic provided funding, so its eventual destination is not in doubt.) Unlike other, recent naturalistic documentaries (Microcosmos and Winged Migration come to mind), there is little spectacle to be found in March of the Penguins. There are no moments of breathtaking awe. And the narration, read by Morgan Freeman from a script by Jordan Roberts, mixes useful information with half-baked and overwrought melodrama. ("The loss [of the chick] is unbearable!")
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One wonders what Disney is going to come up with next, and whether they'll be able to continue at the high level of quality attained by their recent batch of films. 1989's The Little Mermaid is nothing short of delightful, and Beauty and the Beast, the studio's 1991 animated entry, is perhaps the finest animated film ever made. Now, with the advent of 1992's Fall holiday season, Disney has unveiled their latest, Aladdin, an extremely loose adaptation of the Arabian Nights fable about the boy who found a genie in a bottle. And, although more openly comical than either Beauty or The Little Mermaid, Aladdin maintains the high standards set by its immediate predecessors.
Ghost in the Shell
The year is 2029. The world has become intensively information oriented and humans are well-connected to the network. Crime has developed into a sophisticated stage by hacking into the interactive network. To prevent this, Section 9 is formed. These are cyborgs with incredible strengths and abilities that can access any network on Earth.
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The story of the rise and fall of the Roman Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar, born July 13, 100 B.C., and starting his career as a young Roman with visions of greatness for the Eternal City. When Sulla conquers Rome with his troops, Caesar is one of the very few to stand up against the despotic dictator. This impresses Pompeius, Sullas general, and he protects the young man, who is a nephew of Marius, a well known veteran, against the wrath of Sulla. After Sullas death, Caesar returns from exile and starts his political career.
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One Eyed King
Residents of Manhattans Hells Kitchen attempt to balance family and friendship against the harsh street life that unfolds around them.
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The Holy Mountain
A Christlike figure wanders through bizarre, grotesque scenarios filled with religious and sacrilegious imagery. He meets a mystical guide who introduces him to seven wealthy and powerful individuals, each representing a planet in the solar system. These seven, along with the protagonist, the guide and the guides assistant, divest themselves of their worldly goods and form a group of nine who will seek out the Holy Mountain, in order to displace the gods who live there and become immortal.
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Jackass: The Movie
Johnny Knoxville and his crazy friends appear on the big screen for the very first time in Jackass The Movie. They wander around Japan in panda outfits, wreak havoc on a once civilized golf court, they even do stunts involving LIVE alligators, and so on. While Johnny Knoxvile and his pals put their life at risk, they are entertaining people at the same time. Get ready for Jackass The Movie!!
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